Jeanne Claude, Christo’s wife, died this week. She was only 74. They were still working on the same project I heard them speaking about back in 1995–fabric panels over a river in Colorado. I broke up with my boyfriend at the time over Christo and Jeanne Claude. There had been a limited number of tickets given [...]
Infertility
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Stirrup Queens
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164th Friday Blog Roundup
20 Nov 2009 | 4:25 am -
The 79th Circle Time: The Show and Tell Weekly Thread (yes, it was my anniversary edition)
18 Nov 2009 | 6:07 pmShow and Tell is wasted on elementary schoolers. Join several dozen bloggers weekly to show off an item, tell a story, and get the attention of the class. In other words, this is Show and Tell 2.0. Everyone is welcome to join, even if you have never posted before and just [...] -
Bay
18 Nov 2009 | 6:17 amA few days after I lost my grandmother, the traveling began and it kept everything at bay for two weeks. There wasn’t time to sit and think; if I was at home, I was moving the twins through life or preparing for a trip or cleaning up from a past one. And I knew this would [...] -
At This Exact Moment in Time
17 Nov 2009 | 7:35 amI have been having wonderful luck lately with meeting other bloggers. Last week, it was Serenity and Somewhat Ordinary. This week, it was Baby Shmaybe, To Baby and Beyond, and Palemother. Last weekend, I was in Detroit doing a book reading. What? You don’t have a copy of Navigating the Land of If? Well, you should [...] -
Up, Up, and Away
16 Nov 2009 | 5:38 pmThere’s an astronaut, currently on the Atlantis, who will be missing the birth of his child. Which, you know, sucks hardcore on a base level, but add to that the fact that the couple is infertile and were told she would never be able to maintain a pregnancy and well…I think you all understand. As Josh [...]
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Wishing4One
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Even if you are not a soccer fan
18 Nov 2009 | 9:03 am... you would be if you were here in Cairo tonight. Super S and I are not really, but the city is on fire man. Egypt plays Algeria in Sudan in a half hour and the streets here are crazy! Beeping cars, people with drums, screaming, celebrating and the game did not even start yet! If Egypt wins tonight, they qualify to go to the World Cup in South Africa. Last week it was crazy too, Egypt won against Algeria here in Cairo and people celebrated ALL NIGHT LONG! We have TV on and will be fans for tonight. It will be so nice if Egypt wins, nice for the country I wish them luck! Nice,… -
Just low dose aspirin for now
15 Nov 2009 | 3:42 amJust talked to Dr. K. He said to continue low dose asprin for now. In January when we start IVF cycle, he said we will add some things before transfer. This man goes beyond being our RE, he is truly a good man and a good friend. I want to bring him something really special back from US any ideas? -
Just realized its Friday the 13th
13 Nov 2009 | 1:59 pmHey. Been missing in non-action. Have not commented all week, have not posted since my immune test results. Just been around. Nothing exciting at all going on, just here. Getting ready to travel next month, trying to think of all the things I want to bring along, or not. I go lightly as I have to pack my bags comin home. Earlier this year I paid for an extra bag and my two aloted free bags were overweight so paid for those too. Not trying to have that happen again. Good news is I am approaching Elite status with one of my frequent flyer cards so I think i may get away with free bags in the… -
The results are in...
10 Nov 2009 | 5:02 amHere are the results of my immune testing. I have not yet talked to Dr. K about them. I plan to contact him with the results before I travel in case he wants me to start any treatment while travelling.Here goes...1. Anti Nuclear Antibodies (ANA)- POSITIVE (Nucleolar)2. Antithyroid Antibodies Antithyroglobulin- NEGATIVE Antimicrosomal- NEGATIVE3. Anti-Cardiolipin Antibodies (IgM)- 4.4 MLU/ml4. IgA Level (serum)- 237.7 mg/dl5. IgE Level (total)- 18.8 IU/ml6. IgG Level (serum)- 1173.1 mg/dl7. Anti-Cardiolipin Antibodies (IgG)- 39.2 GLU/ml8. IgM Level (serum)- 273.4 mg/dl9. Immunophenotyping… -
I guarantee this never happened to you
6 Nov 2009 | 1:57 amWent and gave blood for immune tests. Results in Tuesday. Here everything is bargainable. Not just in the souk (outdoor) type shopping, even in malls, in some stores, you ask "is there a discount?" and they discount the price. Well I was totally joking when I asked the lab guy "is there a discount" and sure enough he discounted the total price by like 100 Egyptian pounds! Super S was with me and he could not believe it, we could not believe it!!! God Bless Cairo man, I swear.
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ScienceDaily: Fertility News
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Disrupting male fertility
17 Nov 2009 | 11:00 pmThe sexual function of male rodents can be impaired by in utero and/or neonatal exposure to external molecules such as DES that disrupt normal hormone functioning, giving rise to concerns that low-level exposure to such molecules might cause similar effects in humans. New research, to be published in the Journal of Clinical Investigation, has determined the molecular mechanism underlying many of the harmful effects of DES on the mouse testis. -
Statement of ESHRE on the European Commission proposal of viral screening
15 Nov 2009 | 9:00 pmWith 900,000 assisted reproduction treatments annually such as IVF and intrauterine inseminations in Europe the Commission's proposal to screen both partners before each treatment could lead to costs of over EUR 140 million annually. These figures do not include the additional overhead costs such as administration, personnel and documentation that the hospitals would have to carry on top of that. The new interpretation of the EU Directive would have substantial implications on the costs of fertility treatments in Europe. -
For Young Boys With Cancer, Testicular Tissue Banking May Be Option To Preserve Fertility
8 Nov 2009 | 9:00 pmBoys diagnosed with cancer before reaching puberty have a unique option for possibly preserving future fertility, which is often endangered by cancer therapies. In an experimental procedure, the boys can have a tiny portion of their testis removed and frozen for their potential future use. Parents of prepubertal boys are willing to agree to the procedure and are grateful for the opportunity, even though there is currently no guarantee of clinical success. -
Male factor infertility associated with comorbidities
8 Nov 2009 | 9:00 pmNew research suggests that that male factor infertility is associated with a number of medical comorbidities, as objectively scored with the hospital-based Charlson Comorbidity Index. -
Hard Training May Reduce Fertility In Women
5 Nov 2009 | 9:00 pmAre you a female athlete – or just someone who likes challenging workouts -- who also wants to get pregnant? It may make sense to ease off a bit as you try to get pregnant. New research shows that the body may not have enough energy to support both hard workouts and getting pregnant.
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Fertility News From Medical News Today
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International Event At Queen's Focuses On Male Infertility
19 Nov 2009 | 3:00 amMale infertility and tackling falling birth rates across Europe will be among the topics addressed at this year's British Andrology Society's annual conference at Queen's University in Belfast. World leaders in the field of andrology - the study of male reproduction - will meet at Queen's this week (Thursday and Friday) to discuss the latest developments in the field of fertility including the potential to create artificial sperm from stem cells. -
Statement Of The European Society Of Human Reproduction And Embryology On The European Commission Proposal Of Viral Screening In Assisted Reproduction
18 Nov 2009 | 2:00 amWith 900,000 assisted reproduction treatments annually such as IVF and intrauterine inseminations in Europe the Commission's proposal to screen both partners before each treatment could lead to costs of over EUR 140 million annually. These figures do not include the additional overhead costs such as administration, personnel and documentation that the hospitals would have to carry on top of that. -
Pioneering Work Provides Hope In Fertility Struggle
15 Nov 2009 | 12:00 amResearchers have developed a new use for Renishaw's Raman spectroscopy solutions in assessing the healthiness of sperm cells. The inability to have children creates great heartache for many couples. The most common cause is male infertility, usually characterised by sperm cells with low mobility in which genetic material (DNA) is often damaged. -
Fertility Preservation Found To Be Safe Option For Breast Cancer Patients
13 Nov 2009 | 3:00 amA new study published in the November issue of the Journal of the American College of Surgeons shows that breast cancer patients under 40 years old who undergo fertility preservation do not face a significant delay in the treatment of their disease when their care is coordinated in a timely fashion. -
Hard Training Reduced Fertility
12 Nov 2009 | 2:00 amAre you a female athlete or just someone who likes challenging workouts -- who also wants to get pregnant? It may make sense to ease off a bit as you try to get pregnant. New research from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology (NTNU) shows that the body may not have enough energy to support both hard workouts and getting pregnant.
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Infertility News
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Male Infertility : Convincing Him to Get Tested
19 Nov 2009 | 4:49 amThe mere thought of a sperm test is enough to send many men squirming right out the door. -
Chemotherapy and infertility
17 Nov 2009 | 5:08 amTo read this article in full you must have registered and have a Premium Content Subscription with the NHS Choices site. -
Learn what happens during your first visit to a fertility clinic
15 Nov 2009 | 5:23 pmThe roller coaster ride of infertility often takes people to a fertility clinic in their quest to become parents. -
Chance Of Pregnancy Doubled By 3 IVF Attempts
15 Nov 2009 | 12:51 pmMain Category: Fertility Also Included In: Women's Health / Gynecology Article Date: 10 Nov 2009 - 6:00 PST Just one in three women gives birth after a single IVF attempt, but the cumulative chance of a live birth increases with each cycle - where women are offered three cycles nearly two thirds go on to have babies, reveals a thesis from the ... -
Infertility treatment topic of Billings talk
13 Nov 2009 | 12:34 pmCouples who are having trouble conceiving may soon have a new treatment option closer to home.
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Fertility News From Medical News Today
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International Event At Queen's Focuses On Male Infertility
19 Nov 2009 | 3:00 amMale infertility and tackling falling birth rates across Europe will be among the topics addressed at this year's British Andrology Society's annual conference at Queen's University in Belfast. World leaders in the field of andrology - the study of male reproduction - will meet at Queen's this week (Thursday and Friday) to discuss the latest developments in the field of fertility including the potential to create artificial sperm from stem cells. -
Statement Of The European Society Of Human Reproduction And Embryology On The European Commission Proposal Of Viral Screening In Assisted Reproduction
18 Nov 2009 | 2:00 amWith 900,000 assisted reproduction treatments annually such as IVF and intrauterine inseminations in Europe the Commission's proposal to screen both partners before each treatment could lead to costs of over EUR 140 million annually. These figures do not include the additional overhead costs such as administration, personnel and documentation that the hospitals would have to carry on top of that. -
Pioneering Work Provides Hope In Fertility Struggle
15 Nov 2009 | 12:00 amResearchers have developed a new use for Renishaw's Raman spectroscopy solutions in assessing the healthiness of sperm cells. The inability to have children creates great heartache for many couples. The most common cause is male infertility, usually characterised by sperm cells with low mobility in which genetic material (DNA) is often damaged. -
Fertility Preservation Found To Be Safe Option For Breast Cancer Patients
13 Nov 2009 | 3:00 amA new study published in the November issue of the Journal of the American College of Surgeons shows that breast cancer patients under 40 years old who undergo fertility preservation do not face a significant delay in the treatment of their disease when their care is coordinated in a timely fashion. -
Hard Training Reduced Fertility
12 Nov 2009 | 2:00 amAre you a female athlete or just someone who likes challenging workouts -- who also wants to get pregnant? It may make sense to ease off a bit as you try to get pregnant. New research from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology (NTNU) shows that the body may not have enough energy to support both hard workouts and getting pregnant.
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Creating Motherhood
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what is that saying about making plans?
16 Nov 2009 | 12:56 pmI will do my best not to whine too much, but ugh!! Packing sucks. And packing within pockets of someone’s sleep sucks more. And someone NOT napping at all is the worst. Somehow it will all get done. Right??? While I was up all night bouncing a teething* W I reworked my blog. A bit more streamlined. A bit more plaid. It should allow me to have larger photos within posts. It is an incredibly fun theme to work with- so if anyone is a self hosted wordpress blogger you will dig suffusion. (& no I am not saying that for any other reason than it is the awesome) It also has threaded… -
Sweater weather here we come
15 Nov 2009 | 7:59 amWe are all preparing for The Big Move. You know, the thing that is happening in just a few days. Gulp. It is going to be a long and windy and zigzagged process but by this time next week we will be at the start of a whole new adventure. woo! So this is just one of those, “you probably won’t hear from me for a few days” posts. Or maybe there will be a few posts from the road. I am being noncommittal. Here are a few photos of W on his last Sunday in Florida. W prepares for colder weather with socks & long sleeves W says 3 more days until the moving container arrives W… -
Who is responsible for my son’s oral health?
13 Nov 2009 | 1:53 pmHow’s that for a post title? Finally home after a long day of to and fro. I sat on the couch with W in the den and wanted to have our daily inspection of the front teeth that are slowly making their entrance. And a coin that had been waiting to clink down into my brain finally dropped and my brain was able to realize that, yes, something is not quite right. And while W made it known that he was very much done with my inspection I continued to look. I can now tell you that part of W’s upper lip is attached to his gums. A few minutes research and I can tell you that I am not a… -
Setting stuff free
12 Nov 2009 | 12:47 pmWe set lots of stuff free today. Possessions. Stuff. Some of it was really easy and obvious and some of it was emotional. And some of the aftermath was out of the blue hard. Like seeing my room after the sweet men picking up our stuff were done. I pretty much set free everything in my bedroom. I don’t need a giant bed. I don’t need a giant dresser or matching night tables. But once everything was gone, in the middle of my room, in a spot that would have been beneath my bed, I saw something like a shadow on the carpet. It was cat hair. From BG Talula. And all of a sudden it hits me… -
Moving right along
11 Nov 2009 | 8:28 amI can’t believe I didn’t write a moving and heartfelt post about Sesame Street yesterday. Or maybe I did and it is only readable on Snuffleupogus’s google feed. Because I am a hard core fan and remember the original story line where ol’ Aloysius was imaginary. So. um. yeah. Check your reader, Snuffy. And here is where I update some moving stuff, you know in case there is an obscure drinking game going on out there and people need to know. We selected a method of moving: ABF, baby. We* pack, they ship. And then we* unload and store. The giant storage trailer arrives on…
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I'm a Smart One
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Tonight
19 Nov 2009 | 6:19 amI know, I know. I write a brilliant post with promises of more to come and then just drop off the face of the planet. What I've found is that now that the cork on my writer's block has been popped, it seems like there is SO MUCH that needs to come out that I'm inundated with ideas and thoughts. Everything wants to come out NOW, but I've had little time to give my writing the attention that it needs. Thankfully, Saturday is the start of my 9-day long Thanksgiving Break and I'll have plenty of time to devote to writing. Expect lots of thought-provoking posts here over… -
Thank You
13 Nov 2009 | 8:38 amI think that my previous post, Passport Children, is by far my favorite post of the 463 total that I have written here. It is my favorite not because of what I wrote, but because of what you wrote (or will write, for those of you who've yet to comment on it but might later). Truly, yesterday's responses were the best series of comments ever here, many of which were like individual blog posts in their own rights. When sharing my surrogacy experiences with you, I write about infertility through the lens I share with my intended parents, as surrogacy is a shared experience. I write…
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The Baby Chase
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The Long-Awaited (and Just Plain Long) Post About My Mother
14 Nov 2009 | 7:44 pmI’ve been promising to write about my mother for as long as I’ve been writing this blog—which is almost two years now.I never do it, though, mostly because it’s such a monumental undertaking.How do I describe the damage caused by the person who was, for most of formative years, the most influential person in my life?How can I keep this blog-length, while capturing the depth of my frustration at the fact that I can’t fully escape her?How can I show how hurt and angry I am that she emotionally abandoned me for her mental illness? And what does it say about me that I’m estranged from… -
Miscarriage Dreams
31 Oct 2009 | 12:49 pmWARNING: This post is pretty graphic. Appropriate for Halloween maybe, but consider yourself warned. For months I’ve been having miscarriage dreams.They show up about once a week, and always leave me completely freaked out.Up until last night, they’ve been pretty much the same.I’m in the middle of an otherwise ordinary dream—no reason for me to suspect I’m dreaming—and I go to pee and find blood on the toilet paper.At first just a little bit, then a few drops more, and then the cramps start to kick in. It used to take me a minute to realize that this was bad.After all, it’s been… -
The Precariousness of Pregnancy
27 Oct 2009 | 1:41 pmOne of my good friends—who is about 5 weeks behind me in her pregnancy—just found out that she had a miscarriage.Her baby died about two weeks ago.She managed to stay on the phone long enough to tell me what happened, then said she was sure I understood that she was in no condition to talk.All I could say was “of course,” and “I’m so sorry,” and “call me when you need me.” How fucking inadequate.And don’t get me wrong—I’m not getting down on myself for not knowing what to say.It’s that I know there’s nothing I can say or do that will ease her pain.I’m helpless in… -
Is This That Thing Called "Happy"?
19 Oct 2009 | 2:43 pmI’m going to say this right from the start—pregnant blogging makes me feel strange. It’s not just that it’s hard to get a handle on how I’m feeling, when it changes every five minutes. It’s that I don’t want to upset anyone. Believe me, I didn’t give a fuck about upsetting anyone before—I figured life had shat on me one too many times, and I was entitled to bitch about it to my heart’s content. Who was going to begrudge me a rant about the unfairness of life?But it’s different now. The thing is, pregnancy is kind of hard. I’m actually holding up pretty well—haven’t… -
Me and Mary Travers
19 Sep 2009 | 6:29 amMary Travers died this week.And while I wasn’t terribly broken up over the news, it brought me back to my childhood music, played so often in both my parents’ houses: Peter, Paul, and Mary; John Denver; Simon and Garfunkel. So a couple of nights ago—the day Mary died—I put on Peter, Paul, and Mary’s greatest hits while I cooked dinner.As I chopped the green beans I sang along a little bit to “Blowing in the Wind,” stopping when I realized I was getting choked up over the lyrics—pretty damn brilliant lyrics (that Dylan was quite a poet), so this seemed justified—and laughing…
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Who Shot My Stork?
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30 Oct 2009 | 6:08 pm
30 Oct 2009 | 6:08 pmI want to read and comment and all that, but I've been feeling crappy all day. Then tonight I figured it out. I have a motherfucking UTI. I think it has been years since I had one and guess what? It still sucks.Also, I am out of Halloween candy.Anyone turning the lights off and yelling at kids to get off their lawn tomorrow? -
Explosions!
22 Oct 2009 | 7:03 pmI tried to think of something exciting to do, but I couldn't quite bring myself to try the suggested juggling of fireworks. Though we did have a big kaboom in town today when a tanker exploded on a busy section of highway.Last night I stayed up until midnight working on a speech and really got into it - I think I did a halfway decent job of fixing it up and I had a lot of ideas for where the student can go with it. It's hard - it's supposed to be a type of speech that is very funny, but this kid is very religious so I can't make my completely off color jokes. I have to keep it clean. I… -
The exciting life of Io
20 Oct 2009 | 8:03 pmNot much happening 'round these here parts. I've been busy, it's just not terribly exciting. I'm coaching college spee.ch this year, which I really enjoy, but it takes a lot of time. Friday night I helped run a fundraiser at the Hall which would have been more fun if I could drink (they had good beer too!) but I knew I needed to get up early. I took the kids to a tournament on Saturday. I left my house at 4:30am and got home at 11:30pm and it's just an exhausting activity. It sounds pathetic to say that since it's not like I was running, but it takes lot of mental effort to judge and comment… -
Tattoo
15 Oct 2009 | 8:31 amSent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry -
Weekend
14 Oct 2009 | 7:21 pmI'm slightly concerned: After coaching speech interp events tonight I am thinking I have given the kids pieces that are all about IF. There is the infertility duo, the adoption poetry, and now there is a prose about a woman whose husband had his sperm aspirated because he has CBAVD. It's all totally a coincidence, but I feel like people will wonder how our whole team ended up doing pieces about infertility.Of course, there was also a poetry program about drinking too much, which I certainly did this weekend. (Totally worth it.)Several girlfriends and I rented a house on Lake Michigan last…
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Baby on Bored
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Happy Birthday Madeline
11 Nov 2009 | 12:55 pmThere was a little girl who had so many little curls...She would have turned two today. Her name was Maddie.I met Maddie's mom before I met Maddie. Heather came to hang out with me after work one day without Madeline so that we could talk and get to know each other. The next time we met we both brought our tiny girls so we could compare and contrast. We sat at the Coffee Bean, holding our babies - then maybe 10 or 11 months -and eventually swapped so we could feel the weight in our arms of someone else's joy, worry, preemie, lightweight. The thing I noticed immediately about Maddie was her… -
Lucky
9 Nov 2009 | 2:39 pmNot to be all mushy but sometimes I am overwhelmed by the enormity that is how much I love my family. It's a pretty corny thing that one doesn't often share with anyone but other people who also can't get over how ridiculously fun it is to raise little human beings. Normally, I like to bitch about things. I feel that not only is complaining my God given right but it's also compelling and hilarious if done well. People who have problems but suck 'em up and say "can't complain" are boring if you ask me. Can't complain? Yes you can! Open your mouth! Try harder. Take a class. On the other hand,… -
Tiny Ladies Wear Cuter Clothes
6 Nov 2009 | 2:39 pmA few days ago I was wandering the cosmetics section of my local CVS-I'm not bragging, just stating facts here, and I spotting an Asian woman who looked to be maybe 4' 11". Now, I'm not positive she was that short because I was too chicken to ask even though I really really wanted to know. I'm slightly obsessed with short people's heights because there's a good chance a full sized Sadie will only be 4'10or 4' 11" and I want to get a good picture of what that looks like. If it looks like that Asian woman it will be down right adorable. But then again, maybe the random short Asian woman was… -
Let's Play a Game
3 Nov 2009 | 3:52 pmGames are an important part of a young child's development and if you're not playing lots of games with your child, chances are you're not a good parent. Trust me, I'm a really good judge. You might want to ask yourself why you refuse to put in the time. Are you selfish? Lazy? Just not that into it? Well, now that you've spent a few moments being really tough on yourself, maybe you're ready to try harder. Here are a few of my family's favorite games and I've included some instructions so you can try them for little to no expense on your wallet, but a high price on your sanity.Baby-So-Soft! -
Baby On Bored is Buying...
30 Oct 2009 | 11:16 amHere's a new thing I'm bringing out. It could be just this week or maybe it's permanent. I don't know because I'm flaky. But I'm calling it "Shit I've bought or liked recently"1. Pieces of Happily Ever After - It's a novel and it should be a movie. It's beautiful. It's funny. It's deeply moving (I cried. Twice.) and it's got edge. Irene Zutell, the author, is a friend of mine and I went into reading it with slight trepidation because I always have that feeling like what if I don't like it? How will I tell my friend the truth? Well no worries there, I was completely taken aback by my love for…
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BigP and Me
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Betty
2 Nov 2009 | 3:45 pmIf you haven't had a chance, you need to head on over and check out:I Married Barney, Now What?Betty's Birthday is today, she is now 35 and she is trying to decide if they should continue down the TTC path or to let the line in the sand stay.Also, Betty loves to do giveaways! I won the first one! I super suck and am just now getting around to taking photos and putting up this post.Go on, go check out Betty and her life with Barney (and my secret hope that they get a Dino soon no matter which path they go down!!).Also, Ms.J mentioned that I just password protect my computer and I definitely… -
I've been meaning to post...
30 Oct 2009 | 8:09 amBut then it seems like I only want to vent and instead of airing family laundry on my blog I've opted for no posts at all.But, truly...I think it is time for this blog to end until we decide to do treatments again. Even then I make no promises.My sister and her two children will be moving in with us at some point. It could be next week it could be the middle of December. She is getting divorced and needs help until she can get on her feet.I don't want someone using my computer to find my blog... This has been my safe place and I don't want to jeopardize that.Of course I will still be checking… -
Lasik
23 Oct 2009 | 12:12 pmI highly recommend it.Yesterday I got both of my eyes done.I went from around (it is a guess) 20/800 to 20/25 overnight. My vision still has the possibility of improving as my eyes continue to heal.I'm not going to pretend it was fun - I'd much rather prefer a day at the spa. BUT, it wasn't nearly as horrible as I thought it was going to be imagining them cutting a flap in my eye...PLUS, there is Valium.Now I just have to find some great eye makeup to really cover up the bags under my eyes that my glasses helped hide before. -
Another post on time...
15 Oct 2009 | 4:59 amWhile reading Infertility Just Sucks this morning it all struck me.I now realize why time seems to be moving at warp speed.I'm not living my life in two week chunks. I'm not waiting to find out something: Do I have follicles? How is my lining? Did I ovulate? Did it work? Did my numbers double? etc.I'm just in the moment. I'm not waiting on anything.It is moving so fast now...People warned me about it but I didn't realize exactly how fast it would go. -
Warp Speed
13 Oct 2009 | 11:13 amI feel like time is flying past me. I have all of these great things that I want to get done and before I know it, the day has ended.It was over a week ago that Katherine turned one. I really wanted to put together this thoughtful post about this past year and all the stuff that has happened. How she is, what she is doing now.Then I decided maybe just a list.I haven't even managed that.Last week I had the d+c on Wednesday and Thursday company started arriving. More arrived Friday. The majority arrived Saturday. Sunday was Katherine's party. It went well I think - it was over before I knew it…
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Chasing A Child
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Babies, grandparents, and moms of a certain age
8 Nov 2009 | 7:42 pmSqueaker is sleeping better. Not significantly, but enough that we aren't completely crazed. We haven't really changed the bedtime routine. I suspect the fact that he's cut 3 teeth in the last 2 weeks (we're at 5 total, and more on the way) might have something to do with it -- teething screws with his sleep big-time. The Mister's folks were in town last week and thoroughly wore Squeaker out with grandparent excitement, which was good for all of them. But I think he's also just getting the hang of the sleep thing a bit (knock wood). The only change we made was to add… -
Sleep mode unavailable
16 Oct 2009 | 12:56 pmAnd still the baby does not sleep.I've read about the 9-month sleep regression, and I'd like to believe that that is all we're dealing with. But the truth is, Squeaker has always had a very hard time getting to sleep. When he was a newborn, he couldn't sleep unless one of us was holding him on our chest. Eventually, he was able to sleep for a few hours (albeit fitfully) in between us, so we co-slept until he was about 4 months old. By then, he was too big to fit comfortably in the co-sleeping nest and was kicking and thrashing so much in his sleep that none of us were getting… -
Yep, still here ...
9 Oct 2009 | 8:30 pmYou know it's been a long time since you've posted when you have no idea where you left off ... good lord, I've been busy. Can't even begin to describe. The biggest problem has been that I have not a minute of time to myself for exercise or creative efforts -- oh hell, who am I kidding -- I barely have time to shower. It's been 6 months since I had a haircut (or color -- oy, the gray! oy, the split ends! and the frizz!). Everything is work, childcare, housework, paying bills (or trying to figure out where the money is going to come from to pay the bills), trying to sleep,… -
On anonymity
7 Sep 2009 | 11:35 amI started this blog as an anonymous infertility blog. When you're discussing the details of your lady bits and visits with the, um, dildocam ... one's natural tendency is to keep things a bit hush-hush. Well, most folks feel that way, anyway. Some are braver than I am, putting their names and faces out for the world to see. Bravo for them! We need people -- real people, men and women, people with names and photos so you know that they're real -- speaking out about what IF is like. Otherwise, I think that it's too easy for the rest of the world to brush us off as a bunch of… -
In which I childproof (and phobia-proof) my home
29 Aug 2009 | 10:38 pmThere has been a lot of insanity in the political world lately. People bringing assault rifles to public gatherings, "news" anchors ranting of mysterious armies being assembled for who-knows-what purpose, widespread distribution of horrible misinformation about healthcare reform, and on and on it goes. Be afraid, be very afraid!! So much of the fear-mongering is tied up in the absolute inability of a certain group of people to accept the fact that a black man is President of the United States, and much of the fear is being directed -- in ways that are both freakishly obvious and…
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Child Bearing Hips
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T minus 2 weeks.
18 Nov 2009 | 8:48 amWell. I'll be holding babies two weeks from right now! Crazy!I'm enjoying my vacation - and getting random little things done. Getting chores done that were impossible to do with the combo of being heavily pregnant and working full time (car inspected, oil changed, stuff picked up from people willing to give me baby stuff and finishing Christmas shopping for my nieces and nephews) and also doing fun projects - like painting letters so I can put the girl's names over their cribs. I'm on the 4th coat of paint - I think I'm a little obsessed... but does that surprise anyone? I also got a… -
Aaron's Version of Nesting
15 Nov 2009 | 7:43 amExhibit A, our kitchen floor: We had this vague plan a while back that we wanted to rip out our nasty tile kitchen floor (I know, doesn't sound nasty, but it was these off-white textured tiles that were poorly grouted and showed every little bit of dirt), put in a wood laminate floor, and paint the cabinets. The whole prospect seemed a bit daunting, and I figured we certainly didn't have time before the twins came, so I didn't think any more of it.Friday, Aaron finished his last big project (insulating his workshop in the basement). And we need to order a dumpster. Well, he figured, if we… -
I'm turning into my mother.
13 Nov 2009 | 10:42 amSo - as I have had all these friends and family members organizing my house, I find myself loving it. Before, I understood that having everything more organized made sense, but a childhood of my mother saying over and over again 'A place for everything and everything in it's place' made me kind of want to pull away from that kind of super organized life.But now. I'm going to have 3 babies. And a full time job. And a nanny in my house during the day. With my organizational kick start, I find myself wanting to stay like this. And get any other parts of my house like it too. I'm finding it takes… -
Super Fun
12 Nov 2009 | 7:15 amYesterday was Veteran's Day - which meant I got the day off work, and Hulk's daycare was closed, so we had a Mommy Fun Day. It started with Hulk staying at one of my girlfriend's houses while I had a check up and got swabbed for Group B Strep (fun fun). HE had a blast - my friend has 4 teenage girls and they loved playing with him.From there, we headed out to do some shopping... but it was mostly with gift cards - so basically FREE shopping. I got new duds for Hulk (including a new pair of walking shoes), some new nursing PJs for the hospital for me (a gal can hope, right?), a new video game… -
Broken body parts (not mine!)
9 Nov 2009 | 7:01 amSo. I was napping on Saturday afternoon, so I missed the phone call - but my mother fell down the stairs at the cabin, broke 2 ribs and punctured a lung. And I am on travel restriction, so I couldn't do anything. Thankfully, my cousin and some of her friends chipped in and got her all settled in the hospital and got the dog taken care of. And I spent last night getting everything all set for her to come home today. But damn. It's hard to deal with all this long distance and on the phone! I wish I could have just popped in the car and stayed with her until at least tonight and tomorrow to see…
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Helping Make Sense
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Separation Anxiety
20 Nov 2009 | 7:03 amFirst of all, I want to thank everyone for your comments on my last post!! I've really missed you all and you all made me feel so happy to be back!!!As we get closer and closer to our due date, I find myself feeling wistful and sad at the thought of not being pregnant anymore. I absolutely cannot wait for this little girl to be here, and, in many ways, can't relax until she is here and I know she safe and healthy. But, I have truly enjoyed being pregnant. I love the little secret world that only she and I live in, where she tells me when she's awake, hungry, enjoying the munchkins I'm eating,… -
Why I haven't been blogging...
13 Nov 2009 | 8:56 pmThe easy answer? I really don't know. I just haven't been doing it.The more complicated answer? In a way, I kind of feel like I don't belong anywhere.Glenn keeps reminding me that it's been a long time since I've written anything, which prompted me to really think about what's going on and why I haven't. And, I realized that I guess I just don't know what to talk about.Let me explain. While I started this blog to be more than a chronicle of my infertility struggle, that's what it predominately became. And, that's OK. That was, for a long time, the main thing in my life that I found relief in… -
Radiating - the good and the bad
12 Oct 2009 | 2:04 pmBad radiating - when your husband has a nuclear stress test and you have to be apart for 2 weeks because he is "radiating" nuclear waves and it's dangerous for your unborn baby!Bad radiating - when everyone else in a room is cold and you think they should sit next to you because you are so hot you must be radiating heat!GOOD RADIATING - when the woman sitting next to you in the restaurant wishes you luck with the baby and says that she is a delivery room nurse and knew you were pregnant looking at your face because you are radiating and glowing! -
I am miserable
3 Oct 2009 | 8:37 amWomen complain during pregnancy. It's a fact. One I have absolutely no problem with. Many women who have experienced IF feel that, once I get pregnant, I'll happily contend with all discomforts and, by gosh, I won't complain about them! Eh, I don't really agree with this. Doesn't matter to me how you got pregnant - if something is bothering you, by all means, complain away! It's your right!That said, I have been so blessed to have an easy pregnancy (please, please knock on some wood for me!), so, I haven't really had much to complain about.But, now I'm going to complain, although, pregnancy… -
Um, important things you should be told!
23 Sep 2009 | 10:11 amGlenn had a repeat nuclear stress test yesterday. Everything is fine!! Well, almost everything.We use a hospital in NYC for his procedures. While he was in the test, I was in the lobby working. When I realized that he was much later than we thought he would be, I packed up my laptop and headed up to the cath lab. I inquired as to his status and the admitting nurse went to check. She came back and told me he was waiting and asked if I wanted to go back and wait with him. I said OK. Then, and thank goodness I was wearing something that made me look pregnant (because I often still don't look it…
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Infertility Licks!
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Flush
17 Nov 2009 | 6:04 pmI picked MG up from daycare today. Usually when I pick her up, little is said.Today, not so much.Yesterday, MG "painted" her fingernails with markers (Thank you mother for doing that over the weekend. Now MG thinks it's fun). She also "put on makeup" using said markers. I let the daycare know that the rules at home would've had the markers taken away and replaced with pencil crayons (I gave up on regular crayons because she eats them). But really, no harm no foul. Right?Then, the teacher asked MG what she did today. I couldn't quite make out the mumbled words but it turns out she took Jack's… -
It's Her Day (OART #10)
17 Nov 2009 | 11:51 amGiven that MG's birthday was just this last Saturday, this topic is at the forefront of my mind right now so the timing is quite perfect.Everybody has a birthday and that is the day we celebrate for MG. She wasn't part of our family yet but it's still the day she entered this world and it's the only day we plan on remembering. When I think back to that time, my memories may not be of her actual birth but I do know exactly where I was and what I was doing when she was born. And I remember exactly how I was feeling.That day will hold it's own set of memories for everyone else involved in her… -
Happy Birthday MG!
14 Nov 2009 | 8:54 amToday, my baby is 3. It sure goes by fast. -
A Real Letter
10 Nov 2009 | 5:00 pmDo people actually write those these days? Does anyone actually use snail mail anymore? Or is it all electronic email?Oh wait, I know one person who does.... Grandma J. How do I know that? Because I just opened up an envelope filled with old photos and a letter from her filled with tidbits of L's history as a child.Cool.** if you are new to my blog, L is my daughters birthmom and Grandma J is L's mom. -
Some Days
10 Nov 2009 | 10:38 amSome days, parenting is hard. Not exactly a news flash, I know, because some days, life in general is hard no matter who you are and where you are in life.What parenting gives you is an extra trigger. There are days when I wish I had stayed in bed. Traffic is mayhem, work is a bitch and I'm bloated and PMS'y. Then I see that smiling blonde haired, blue eyed bundle of energy screaming "MOMMY" and it's all wiped away in an instant. Or it's the opposite - I've had a relatively good day but get tested to the limit by the antics of a toddler. Some days, that limit takes a lot to reach.... others,…
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Coming2Terms
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Moms: We Hear You Loud and Clear
17 Nov 2009 | 6:33 amUpdated to share two links revealing a reality different than what the conventional mom community experiences:Grown In My Heart, an adoption network, reviews Silent SororityA Casting Call for Drew Barrymore, David Duchovny * * * * *Ack! What's going on? If I were a conspiracy theorist, I'd be convinced we were in the midst of a well-coordinated, full-on assault against those who can't or don't have children.You may recall the judgmental Orlando Sentinel Mom's at Work blog I referenced in my last post. Who knew it was the tip of the iceberg? This week Mika Brzezinski weighs in. Mika, Mika,… -
45 Years After Rossi, Mommies Propagate Prejudice
8 Nov 2009 | 6:55 pmIt's been a very long time since I sat in the Frieze Building on the University of Michigan campus taking notes in a women's studies course. While I registered mainly for administrative reasons (the session fulfilled a requirement for my English Literature major), the class had the added benefit of being thought-provoking. One of the assigned books, Strong-Minded Women, remains on my bookshelf today. I trust my prof would have been pleased to see an essay I wrote today -- prompted by an obituary on sociologist and feminist scholar, Alice S. Rossi (pictured here) -- made the cut as an… -
The Ultimate Test
1 Nov 2009 | 8:58 pmAmadeus... That's a clue for my answer to some complex questions that came this weekend from Silent Sorority readers. The ideas and emotions contained in their questions were remarkably familiar -- so much so they could have come straight out of my own head a few years ago. I guess, by now, I shouldn't be startled by the depth of the shared infertility experience. I'm sure they'll evoke some deja vu for you, too. The questions pose the ultimate test for infertiles who don't succeed with treatment -- overcoming anger and finding peace. First came this email:"I've been having a rough go of it… -
Fertility Clinic Funnies
23 Oct 2009 | 4:35 pmYou know you are pretty far along the acceptance curve when you can laugh about things that once made you want to: a) scream b) cry c) commit Hari-Kiri or d) all of the above. I offer as evidence the Open Salon piece I wrote about the fertility industry, which led to the following online exchange with that oh so rare creature -- a man who openly discusses infertility. Here's how it went:Him: As far as I could tell, the main function of a fertility clinic is to transfer money from infertile couples to the fertility clinic. They are remarkably effective at that. A fairly rare side effect of the… -
Hell Hath No Fury Like a Womb Scorned
19 Oct 2009 | 7:38 amIt's been quite a while since I felt compelled to include a blog post in the "Memo to the Fertile Community" category, but what comes next fit like a glove and then some. BTW: credit for the blog post title goes to my guy. There I was last week innocently starting my Sunday morning, feeling all it's Sunday! I was about to pour a large mug of coffee and dive into The New York Times when ... BAM. You can read what happened next at Open Salon along with some interesting comments.I also encourage you to check out Loribeth's post, The Dark Side of Positive Thinking, which highlights Barbara…
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Joyce's Blog
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Maya is 2!
20 Nov 2009 | 2:39 amFrom the heaviness of yesterday’s post, to the happiness of today’s… My niece, Maya, is turning 2 today. Happy Birthday, kiddo! Love you bunches! My sister threw her a party this past weekend and Maya’s little friends attended. This included the boys! Their first birthday party! How exciting. They were such good boys too, didn’t freak out over the dogs (too much), didn’t scream or cry or do other “bad” baby behaviours. They were perfect guests. And well-dressed too: Hawaiian shirts, shorts, socks and shoes. Oh, and bibs. … -
November 19th.
19 Nov 2009 | 3:00 amI don’t think I’ve blogged about this before. I may have alluded to it at points, but may not have shared the full story. If so, I apologize in advance for repeating myself. My memory these days is pretty bad, but I will always remember key details about November 19th, 1991. Always. I was a freshman in high school. It was ~1pm and I remember I was in Coach Smith’s biology class and we were talking about osmosis. A messenger from the office came to the door with a note for someone. I remember leaning up to Jesse Butler, who sat in front of me, and saying, “I… -
Par for the course
18 Nov 2009 | 2:56 amThis video seems fitting for the days I’ve been having lately… (I’ll let it speak for itself, but I’ll add: they had just woken up from naps and were possibly still tired, maybe hungry, very silly.) -
A couple of little turkeys
17 Nov 2009 | 3:27 amThe boys have had so many new foods lately! I’ve been trying to get them moved on to bigger pieces and more textures. So far, I’ve added grapes (which I put in my mouth and bite off smaller pieces, as gross as that sounds), some more of the Gerber crawler foods (these veggie dip things and some apple-flavoured wagon wheels) and MEAT! This Sunday, we tried turkey (mainly so I can make sure they have no reaction and at Thanksgiving, I can give them some of the good stuff!) and uh, let’s see: Bottled meat, you say? Smells funny. Cooper got a rash! All of a sudden, there… -
So long, Shylo
16 Nov 2009 | 3:04 amFriday the 13th turned out to be a bad day, after all. I guess, to be fair, Thursday the 12th was worse. A fitting ending to a bad week, I suppose. Our sweet little kitty, Shylo, went missing and I realized I hadn’t seen him since Wednesday around 7pm when I fed him and Alf their dry food. These are our outdoor kitties and they are always on the porch for their 7pm meal. Then, I went to have a drink or two with some friends just after that. The outside cats always get a bit of canned food at 9pm and they know this very well. Shylo was a diabetic and had to have an insulin…
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life from here: musings from the edge
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distance (updated)
12 Nov 2009 | 11:04 pmThank you so much for your outpouring of support. Every one of your kind words and thoughts reached their way through the box and warmed my ailing heart. Seriously, many thanks for all the virtual love. I needed that. I still have not spoken with her. We got the news about my mom on Monday, while she was still under anesthesia from opening her up before they determined that she was inoperable. Since then, she’s been sedated by painkillers for her incision, and all communication has funneled through her husband, my stepfather of 25 years. As I explained before, my mom hasn’t wanted… -
losing battle
9 Nov 2009 | 11:28 pmIt’s inoperable. My mother is dying. It may be a few months, or a few weeks. Or longer. I have no idea. We had hoped with this surgery that she’d still have some years left in her. But it was not to be. Just a few months ago she was a vibrant woman, enjoying life and love, her grandchildren, travel. She was only just showing signs of slowing down… Now I fear she will have lost all hope. There are no good options left. Maybe the doctors will be able to convince her that a certain treatment might enable some quality of life, in spite of the side effects. My guess is she will… -
open adoption roundtable: on openness
5 Nov 2009 | 9:41 pmThe most recent prompt by Heather at the Open Adoption Roundtable asks open adoption bloggers whether they agree with some common critiques about openness in adoption. The views cited share one thing in common, “a certain point-of-view: that direct contact during early childhood between birth families and children placed for adoption may not be the best idea” and that adoptees, not their parents, should be able to decide if and when to initiate contact on their own timetable. As a new adoptive mother in a fully open adoption, I obviously disagree with this view for many of the… -
creepy crawly web
30 Oct 2009 | 1:17 pm~ Happy Halloween!~ … may you have more treats than tricks this year! image courtesy of the Amazing M -
sweet patch
27 Oct 2009 | 11:20 pmSo much to say, so little time… and not sure how much to share. It’s been a busy week here and we are recovering from our weekend away. Another post will have to be forthcoming on that, as I am still processing. It was all good, really. It’s just that there is so much to ponder. But now ’tis the season to think of spiders and witches and little goblins. And pumpkins. This time last year, we were moving full steam ahead with our adoption outreach when I had a major setback one fall Sunday afternoon. We had gone to our local pumpkin patch for some harvest fun, yet it was…
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Maybe If You Just Relax
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Not the kind of baby weight I wanted to lose.
17 Nov 2009 | 4:25 pmThis may surprise you, but sometimes I make a big deal out of things that are totally not a big deal. I know. It's a very shocking revelation. I'm sorry if I sprung this on you at a bad time. I hope that you did not fall and hit your head or puncture your scrotum or twist an ovary.Right.Olivia had her 9 month well visit today. And she is well. Oh yes she is! Howevever, she did lose weight. -
All the cool kids know Murgdan!
16 Nov 2009 | 2:51 amA while back, I asked you about your favorite blogs. A while back, like, the beginning of September. And some of you asked about my favorite blogs.Look, I meant to get on this, like, three months ago, but then all kinds of stuff happened (no it didn't) and I got really bizzy (not really) and then I forgot (sort of a half truth here) and I've been up all night for weeks trying to make this -
38 Weeks, 6 Days
13 Nov 2009 | 3:03 amMark posted this picture of us on Facebook. After I recovered from the brief horror of my unrecognizable ankles, I felt all nostalgic. It was about three weeks before we had Olivia. We were so excited! We had no idea what we were in for!I loved being pregnant. I thought pregnant was the beez kneez.Pregnant thought I was an asshole.But I didn't care. Cankles, Gestational Diabetes, Preeclampsia, -
FET: makes me feel all stabby
11 Nov 2009 | 4:16 pmI'm not sure if I ever mentioned to you how much I love Dunkin Donuts coffee. But I love it, like, a lot. If it had a leg, it is possible that I would hump it. Or I would have to try really hard to refrain from humping it. Or I would only refrain from humping it because I wouldn't want to burn my Lady Business or waste the delicious coffee that would surely spill from the gyration of my lumpy -
My name is Jennepper, and I am full of The Giddy over New Moon
8 Nov 2009 | 7:46 amRandom Thoughts:What is the drawing in the classroom that has an ovary in its head?I'm going to start choking people. By accident.Anyone else think that Taylor Swift should be a brunette? I want to molest Robert Pattinson.Three weeks until I see New Moon.I miss Will Ferrell.
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Not like I thought it would be
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yaya love
18 Nov 2009 | 9:48 amOk, the title might sound a little dirty, but I'm actually talking about the lovely Yaya aka Alicia. Many of you probably already read her, but if you don't, you should. I guess I started reading her blog several months back. She shares so much of herself on her blog that you would think you know her personally. She offers love and support to anyone who visits her site and we need to give it back to her. Alicia and Josh have been trying to start their family for many years, but they have really been through the wringer lately with a tragic death in the family and an adoption disappointment (I… -
some good came out of it
22 Oct 2009 | 10:00 amI find myself wanting to write some more about my short-lived pregnancy. I'm not writing because I'm sad or because I want people to feel sorry for me, I'm just still processing it. I suppose I may never know why we had to go through this when we were (and are) happy with what we have. We know how very blessed we are. I'm going to focus on some positives of the whole experience.One good thing that came out of this is that I can see just how strong my marriage is this time. During infertility stuff, our marriage was pretty weak. We stopped communicating and drew away from each other. We almost… -
7 things
19 Oct 2009 | 8:17 amThe lovely Melba and Jamie gave me the Kreativ Blogger award. Thank you kindly Melba and Jamie for this award. I would just like to say that I'm not very creative or Kreativ and I feel undeserving, but I will go ahead and go along with it because, hey, why not? I am honored that you would nominate me. So here it is, if you haven't seen it already:Here are the rules:Thank the person who nominated you for this award.Copy the logo and place it on your blog.Link to the person who nominated you for this award.Name seven things about yourself that people may not know.Nominate seven Kreativ… -
say hey
16 Oct 2009 | 8:22 amI know it's not a new song, but it's a good song and the video makes me smile! Enjoy and have a great weekend!! -
really?
15 Oct 2009 | 6:32 amOk, I don't do this a lot anymore, but I heard a story this morning that made me say "she can get pregnant (and stay pregnant) and I can't?"Apparently a stripper in Ohio, who is 8 months pregnant (22 years old), repeatedly stabbed a fellow stripper, who is 52 years old, with her stiletto. She claimed it was done in self-defense. She faced felony assault charges, but plead guilty to a misdemeanor and got a year of probation. For the sake of her baby, I hope she will grow up and change her ways.On a deeper note, I learned from the lovely Yaya that today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance…
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Twice As Nice
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Happy Children
19 Nov 2009 | 9:25 pmFinally! They are both smiling!I told you they are really happy children.This picture proves it. And I am so going to Photoshop Olivia's funky eye. -
A Sweet Treat
18 Nov 2009 | 8:29 amHave you seen these?We tried them when they first came out this summer,but found them to be too strong. BUT...if you melt them just a bit and stir some water with them...It is finger lickin' good.And yes, Abby had a spoon, but she just preferred a fork. She also took her bib off. Notice the clean tray and minimal spillage on her shirt.Olivia knows better than to take off her bib. Good to the very last tiny bit. She licked it out...really.We have tried peach and strawberry, but they do have some other flavors. This is a great substitute for ice cream.Don't forget for every comment I get, I… -
Cans For Comments
16 Nov 2009 | 9:04 amThank you Pam and Jennifer for the inspiration to do this. What a great blessing!For each comment I receive for the rest of this month, I will donate one can (or box) to a local food bank. This even counts for old posts as well. Feel free to go into the archives and post a comment on some random post. Hee hee. The way I have my comments set up I will see any comments left on any post more than 3 days old. So please, comment away! This should be fun! -
In the Mail…
15 Nov 2009 | 7:34 am…A letter... "Our records indicate that your fees for the cryostorage of embryos or gametes is due." …No more avoiding... "The following is a summary of your items and the fees required to maintain these items in storage."Item Category: Embryo Item Type: BlastNumber of Vials: 2 Storage Fee : $399.00 …Later has become…now “If you do not wish to maintain the items in storage then you must fill out the form…” …The decision is here... “NOTIFICATION TO DISPOSE OF CRYOSTORAGE SPECIMENS” …Can we do it?.. “Send the filled out form, notarized and signed, to us.” …We don’t… -
We are in for it now...
14 Nov 2009 | 5:55 pmYes, those are my girls up on an end table.Olivia, of course, figured it out first.She is looking at her daddy here."What?"Abby is not to be outdoneExcept she wanted to sit and get down...Not jumping into daddy's hands, like her dare devil sisterSurprisingly, they have not attempted to do this again. We let them go up and down for a long time. Maybe they got it out of their little system? Yeah, my name is naive.
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Two Years and Counting
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Update on dr. appt.
5 Nov 2009 | 11:08 amUpdate after my appt yesterday: Due to the antibody I have and the heparin I’m on because of that antibody, as well as the tiny possibility the baby is growth restricted (even though she said her gut says that’s not the case), Dr G wants to induce labor before 40 weeks. I’m still only at 1 cm and about 60% effaced. She suggested inducing on Monday morning, but coming in on Sunday and having a cervical catheter put in to increase dilation to prepare for induction. I said since we’re planning and scheduling this thing, would it be possible to do it a bit later in the… -
38 weeks
2 Nov 2009 | 11:27 amJust a quick update to say no baby yet. I’ve officially entered the pretty miserable stage. And I feel sort of guilty saying that because my belly doesn’t look that big, so when people ask how I”m feeling and I say something to the effect of “Oh I’m making it,” I feel like they’re having to restrain themselves from rolling their eyes. But it’s what you can’t see! This baby dropped down low into my pelvis several weeks ago, and I think she’s dropped down even lower a couple times since then. Right now, if I’m up and active… -
35 1/2 weeks
13 Oct 2009 | 12:30 pm**Below is what I posted today on our family blog. The only other thing I’ll add right now is that we were extremely frustrated with the appt with the maternal fetal specialist yesterday. Our copay for specialists is $50, and basicallyw e paid him $50 to tell us what we already knew ourselves. He just repeated himself about 4 times, saying the same thing over and over, and when he left, M and I both looked at each other with “what the heck was that?” faces. The ultrasound that the nurse did was helpful and reassuring since everything looked good and there was nothing that… -
Random Tidbits
17 Sep 2009 | 8:29 amThings are rolling along. I haven’t had anymore issues with too many contractions, and the bad pain hasn’t come back. Kate is kicking like a soccer player though, which is funny to me. Except at night when she starts moving and sometimes hits a certain spot low on my left side that hurts pretty bad. But it’s not excruciating. I’d rather her be kicking than not, of course. I had our first baby shower last weekend, and it felt so special. My girlfriends really went all out for it. Most special of all, several of them made comments about how excited they were for us,… -
Almost 31 weeks
9 Sep 2009 | 9:36 amAfter my last post where I said it’s been a mostly easy pregnancy, it seems like things fell apart for a week or so! Thankfully things have settled down mostly, but last week was not fun. M and I went to visit my parents about 4 hours away for the weekend. Totally normal thing for us to do. We go all the time. That Friday evening in the car, I was having more BH contractions than is typical, but I figured it was just because of the position I was in, and the fact that I wasn’t drinking a lot of water (because I didn’t want to stop at every single gas station to pee!)…
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Weebles Wobblog
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Show & Tell: Better off red
18 Nov 2009 | 3:00 pmThe kids were both in school but Roger and I had Veteran's Day off. So we had a date in our city.After lunch (which included acai sangria), we strolled over three of Denver's bridges toward downtown. On the way, we found this:Photo by Jeffrey Beall (his is better than mine).National Velvet is by artist John McEnroe (not the tennis player, I presume). The sculpture was dedicated a year ago -
Perfect Moment Monday: Win-Win Wars
15 Nov 2009 | 11:01 pmPerfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between.Once a week we engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join. Details on how to participate are at the bottom of this post, complete with bloggy bling.Please visit the links of the participants at -
Shout Out Sunday: Wild Women of the Universe!
15 Nov 2009 | 11:51 amMelissa at Full Circle recently started Shout Out Sundays:Choose a blog that has moved you. A daily must read. One you stalk. One that makes you laugh, cry or scream at the monitor. A new one you would like to give exposure to. Someone you would like to introduce to your readers and send a warm fuzzy while you're at it.Write your post and add your link over at the love fest at Full Circle.Here's -
Hotel Rwanda and open adoption parenting
13 Nov 2009 | 6:00 am -
Show & Tell: Tatt Two
11 Nov 2009 | 4:00 pmWe spent last weekend in Colorado Springs with 19 extended family members. Seventeen of them cheered at the Air Force/Army game (for the away team). But Tessa and I headed to nearby Manitou Springs for some girlie-girl time.Manitou Springs is an earthy, small mountain town with an inviting personality. Tessa and I window shopped along the main street, played with toys in the toy store, sat on
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Our Family Beginnings
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Another cop out post
19 Nov 2009 | 4:10 pmBut it’s for a good cause. It’s days like today that make me so grateful to have surrounded myself with such fabulous women. I spent the day with one today, who is having quite a rough go of it. So if you have warm thoughts, I know she’d appreciate them. However, since she can’t tweet it due to her own blog being more of a public family one, I’ll make the joke for her. “You can get a D&C for 40 bucks? That’s a bargain! Not a lot of things you can get for 40 bucks…” (she was worried she’d be paying in the hundreds for… -
Wordless Wednesday: Got mah hair ‘n’ brows did!
18 Nov 2009 | 4:33 pmI was at a long stop light when I took the shot, promise. -
Does your poop float?
17 Nov 2009 | 9:38 amToday, this is one of the questions I am asking myself, amongst others. The reason being is that my dad, at the ripe age of 61 was just diagnosed with celiac disease. He had gotten lyme disease twice this year (he lives in Connecticut and he and my mom have indoor/outdoor cats, what do you want?) and had another rash check. Turns out it’s a common rash for celiac sufferers. Did you know that women who have a father with celiac disease are at greater risk to get the disease themselves? Oh, and that it’s been linked to infertility as well as anxiety and depression? Yeah. I read off… -
Perfect Moment Monday: 32 Flavors and then Some
16 Nov 2009 | 6:02 amEach year, there is a race in our neighborhood on Thanksgiving Day called the Turkey Chase 10k. It’s a huge race for the area, and though it often is rainy or cold, people come out in thousands for that run or the 2 mile fun run. You can see people with turkey hats and even people who run the course backwards. It’s also a big deal for me to do, because it’s right around my birthday, and there’s something about running a race as I turn a year older that makes me feel vibrant and alive.It’s also a big deal for me to do, because it’s right around my… -
He likes to move it, move it.
15 Nov 2009 | 1:21 pmLast week, after my awesome day with Serenity, Somewhat Ordinary, and Mel, it rained. It rained and rained and rained. Today, Sunday is the first sunny day we’ve had in almost a week. Let’s just say I could never hack it in Anchorage. To add to the drabness, our faucet wasn’t working in our sink. Luckily it was covered under warranty, but it meant that we had a week without a working kitchen sink. The first day was fine. It was tough being in all day, but V is so active, that he didn’t seem to mind. The second day, I think he was starting to get a little cranky…
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China Adopt Talk
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Nothing new
20 Nov 2009 | 4:58 amThe only thing I see new this morning is a few agencies trying to reassure families that this is just a delay and does not mean the program is ending. Most agencies are still saying they don’t know anything about when referrals may arrive, though. And a few are still letting families know they have [...] -
Bad Rumor
19 Nov 2009 | 4:54 amA European agency has announced (publicly) that “due to changes in the management team of the Center for Chinese adoptions”, referrals are not likely to arrive in November. Rumors and speculation are rampant. No one seems to believe that the new director can’t sign referrals until he gets situated. I think the two main theories are [...] -
Something else in the air
18 Nov 2009 | 11:35 amAn agency is once again reporting that they have something on the way to them. Again, there is no way to know if this is referrals or something else. -
My thoughts on the benefits of Parenting Books
18 Nov 2009 | 6:47 amTo start with I’ll say that TA’s are still rolling in, but I don’t see any new rumors. ———– Some people read parenting books and do everything they say, even the stuff that doesn’t feel right. Others read parenting books and disagree with a few things in the book so they discount everything else, too. I read [...] -
A Random Post
17 Nov 2009 | 6:49 amI don’t see any new rumors. It has been suggested that I just make something up. I actually considered doing a “make up good rumors” post, but decided against that because of the potential for confusion. So, sorry, as much fun as it would be to make up the best rumors we can imagine… it’s [...]
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Journeywoman
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Happy 40th
12 Nov 2009 | 8:52 pmD and I just watched the first episode of the 40th anniversary season of Sesame Street. It's still there. The show was brought to you by the letter H and the number 40. It had rap, and friendship, and muppets and D and I smiled a lot. There was plenty of stuff for the adults watching as well as the kids. There was still Magic. Thanks to the creators and the new dreamers of Sesame Street for a wonderful hour. -
Thursday Thirteen--Thirteen ways I've been saving money
11 Nov 2009 | 8:15 pmSo, we have this wonderful new house.YAY!And we have this huge ass mortgage payment due each month. Not so yay. I have been looking for ways to take bites out of our budget. Here are thirteen that I have done so far. 1) 65 is the new 70. We have oil heat. That is a large expense--especially since we have never paid for heat. So what we are doing is pushing the thermostat down to 65 and only raising it when we are feeling sick. If we're cold we say "Is it sweater fixable?" and often it is. 2) We love WegmansIf you live near a… -
Is it because I lost the cufflinks?
9 Nov 2009 | 8:25 pm*Spoiler Alert* This post references the season finale of Mad Men. Read no more if you haven't seen it and plan to. During Mad Men's season finale, the two main characters tell their children about their impending divorce. Their son, about 7 years old or so, asks "is this because I lost the cufflinks". This poignant line shows better than anything that children think that it is all because of something they did. Not only children. I can't begin to count the number of times that I have wondered what I did to deserve this… -
Another short post
8 Nov 2009 | 5:03 pmD just came home after being away all weekend, so this one will be short. I am happy that the House passed a health care bill. I am less happy about the Stupak amendment. I am pro choice--VERY pro choice, and this amendment rolls backs women's rights to control their own bodies in a huge way. That being said...I think that the Senate has a less easy time filibustering this bill. This will bring the insurance companies into line, and there will be a lot of later voting on this amendment--AFTER we have some kind of health reform with a public option. -
Hmm
7 Nov 2009 | 8:04 amOkay, I'm making a semi-rule that it still counts as NANOBLOPO even if I miss 2 days--otherwise I won't do it. Thing is my life has been fairly boring. More to come later.
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The Sweet Life
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R.I.P. MOOSH
17 Nov 2009 | 4:02 amMy beautiful cat was put down this evening.He was the best cat in the world.You can read about him in my old Show and Tell post.We will miss you Moosh. xx -
Life in points
16 Nov 2009 | 2:04 amI have so many posts I would like to write but I just never get the time or energy to gather my thoughts. So this is another post in points.-My mother has gone into hospital again today and will remain on IV antibiotics for ten days, she is still battling her lung infection. Hopefully it will kick it in the butt and she will come out just in time to come away on holidays with us.-My cat is not -
Where is he ?
11 Nov 2009 | 2:43 amWhere is Max's Dad, my father in law ? Who knows? who cares? He has just disappeared. Oh not from his home but from our lives. Totally gone, no sign of communication what so ever. Before Doudou was born things where already fragile with Max and his Dad, we never knew why. They hadn't spoken for months prior and we hadn't seen him for almost a year. It bugged the hell out of me, I wanted it to be -
Peabrain
9 Nov 2009 | 10:57 pmThey have gone...the in-laws have gone! phew! They are lovely and all and I really shouldn't deny them their time with Max and Doudou but gosh it was just too much. Looking after them and Doudou and Max. I have been just so exhausted and haven't been able to think straight. Max needs more and more care these days, he needs help getting dressed and putting his shoes on etc. I organise and fill his -
A Beautiful Day
2 Nov 2009 | 1:17 amDoudous Christening was a huge success yesterday, it was a beautiful special day. He was just amazing he gave every one lots of smiles and he lapped up all the attention loving every cuddle and kiss....unlike the day before where he was screaming in pain. I can't work out what it is whether it is his silent reflux or tummy pain but I anticipated a nightmare of a day if it was going to be like
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Bee in the Bonnet
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quick like
19 Nov 2009 | 6:10 amI'm minutes away from leaving to go to the airport. I'm visiting the SUN. And the NOT-FREEZING-ASS-COLD. (aka San Diego) Pardon if posting continues to be light over the coming days. I'm taking the camera, so I'm sure I'll have some excellent travel photos to share on my return. In the mean time, I recently discovered that a friend I went to school with back in the day also just underwent a successful IVF procedure. And I couldn't be happier for her. She had 6 IUIs before moving on to IVF, only to discover that she was dealing with Empty Follicle Syndrome. In all my travels through the… -
Preg-zilla
16 Nov 2009 | 12:01 pmIt may have been a while since I said it, but have I mentioned how much I HATE working? I know, I know. People have to do far worse things to get by in this world, but I'm really, REALLY not one of those people who is jazzed about my "career", whose identity is tied up in any way with my occupation. Why is it that one of the first things we ask someone we've just met is, "What do you do?", as though that can really tell us more about a person? I mean, with the exception of those individuals for whom their occupation is their life, why would we count this as a "get to know you" question?? It's… -
*sniiiiiiiiiff*
13 Nov 2009 | 5:55 amSo, what's worse than early pregnancy fatigue? Early pregnancy fatigue combined with a wicked cold, knocking down my already-somewhat-compromised immune system. Monday when I went to the doctor, I felt pretty icky. Sore throat, raw sinuses, etc. But I started to feel a bit better through the rest of the week, even though the sinuses started to feel a little pressure. Feeling better and better all along, until last night, when the cold came back with a vengeance. My head is full of snot and my throat is raw, yet coated in such a way that I have almost no voice. I'm starting to cough, and… -
Heartbeat...s
10 Nov 2009 | 8:30 amThank you, everyone, for your advice regarding OBs (I still can't type that without thinking of tiny tampons...). Shortly after I posted, it occurred to me that the receptionist at my RE's office might know of some options, so I called her and she shared a few names with me. I had gotten recommendations from my RE previously, but he rattled off, like, 10 names to me shortly after I walked out of my first ultrasound when I was a little dazed at having seen two sacs and had nothing to write on and also was trying to absorb all of the prescription medication changes he was making, and… -
Stupid OB BS
9 Nov 2009 | 10:31 amI'm feeling really sick today (sinus and throat garbage), so I went to the doctor's office this morning, and got tested again for the piggy flu. Other than my typically low blood pressure issues, I seem to have a clean bill of health-- no real idea what's causing the fire in my throat with nasal congestion. Anyhow, I asked the practitioner that I saw what her estimation was of when they would get the swine flu vaccine as it appears that there is absolutely no supply in this area, AT ALL. And her recommendation was that I get myself established as a patient at an obstetrician's office, as they…
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Forever Reaching
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About IVF the THIRD
17 Nov 2009 | 6:28 amI could believe every sign around me telling me no: Mikey’s lack of job. My unhappiness at my job. My weight is at its peak. No disposable cash. The mixup in August regarding my HSG. The mixup in September regarding insurance. Instead I’m sitting here at Alma Mater clinic starting IVF the Third. Even though as late as yesterday I was ready to eat the co pays for these drugs and give them away to the IVP because i seems to be a waste of money to use these drugs on me. Better someone who will get pregnant. But for me it’s no abou a baby. Its about closure. I know I will find… -
About family
9 Nov 2009 | 10:34 pmSigh…. BabySis, Mami, and the Nephews visited for ten days so enough time has passed for me to let go and able to write things. They are both very smart and I miss them already. Manly Nephew has a knack for music and art. Lil Kahuna is great at mimicry and solo play. The Nephews are cute and fun but troubled. Lil Kahuna is a biter and screamer, highly competitive with brother and lacks total cooperation with peers (which is normal for two but it felt a little extreme). Manly Nephew is tantrumming and an overeater and has a real whiny/victim streak in him. BabySis is snarky and tired and… -
About my career
21 Oct 2009 | 11:56 amMaybe today isn’t the best day to update about my job because I am in a really crappy mood but I don’t want any more time to pass here goes. I’m supervising a chidlrne’s cousneling program within a dometic violence organization. The agency is great, very supportive of its staff, nice benefits, good people. I don’t like it. I came in insecure, frightened about doing counseling again after a ten year hiatus, and with two counselors who had applied for the job I was hired for. And coming in getting all triggered because of my own past of domestic violence. It was… -
About relocating ETA
13 Oct 2009 | 9:09 pmA view of our sky Summer 2009 A couple of posts back Mikey and I talked about Relocating. We did some preliminary research and have pretty much come up with…not much. Challenge 1: We live in a subsidized co-op Mikey bought 15 years ago in cash. There is no mortgage. This co-op has no taxes because its funded by a housing program. Maintenance is based on income of occupants. So the good news is that our maintenance is a pittance. It’s a pittance for any city. And there is no mortgage and no taxes. The bad news: We gain no equity. If we move , Mikey gets back only what she bought… -
About a cat ETA
12 Oct 2009 | 8:17 pmMousie is still alive and well loved This is our fuzzy, our foosa (term coined from a kid’s movie), Florencio aka Flo much to the confusion of many people who believe Flo is a girl’s name. Flo is quiet and gnetle and doesn’t attack or scratch any furniture except for one corner of the kitchen cabinet where the kitty treats are stored and metal door hinges. He doesn’t like any human food and 98% of canned cat food. He does enjoy occasionally licking tortilla chips and plastic. And occasional dress hem. He has chronic slow digestion which means pumpkin and extra water…
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Apron Strings for Emily
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If The Shoe Fits …
6 Nov 2009 | 6:57 pmWhew. What a month. And while Autumn is my absolute favorite time of the year, I am happy to say that I’m glad last month went by fast. Even though I didn’t even get to make a run to the cider mill and get my freshly made donuts and cider. Or my once-a-year Granny Smith caramel apple. Boo-hoo. I’ve been swamped with work lately that last Sunday I hadn’t realized it was Daylight Savings “Fall Back” Time until 3:30 in the afternoon. While I typically relish the extra hour we get every year, I’ve never had the urge to say that I was glad to have the… -
Go To The Back of the Class
2 Oct 2009 | 12:33 am“Poor Me” … that was the headband that Sr. Barbara, the Third Grade teacher at my small Catholic school, would make one of 25 or so kids in my class wear for an entire day at any given moment. It was “awarded” to any classmate whose behavior she deemed appalling. Imagine a headband like this, sans feathers, that had "Poor Me" written across it ... Lucky for me, I only found myself wearing that headband maybe once or twice during that year. Okay … maybe three times. There was that incident where Sr. Barbara caught me jump-roping outside during recess without my school… -
Hook, Line and Sinker
14 Sep 2009 | 5:00 amIt’s that time of year again for me. College Football Saturdays, fresh apple cider and hot donuts, and fall TV season premieres. Oh, and knitting. For some reason, I tend to pick up the “sticks” (aka knitting needles) and a fresh “batch” of yarn around this time of the year. This year, instead of sticks I’ve picked up the “hooker.” Uh … I didn’t say A hooker … I said THE “hooker.” As in a crochet needle. Geesh. Get your mind out of the gutter. Crocheting always reminds me of my Grandma Rose. In the years that she… -
Today’s Gonna Be A Good Day
12 Sep 2009 | 6:37 amJust wanted to quickly share the video from Oprah’s season opening performance by the Black Eyed Peas. This was Frickin. Amazing. Just to see how they got close to 21,000 people to do this dance was amazing! And now I’ve got this song playing over and over in my mind. BUT … I suppose if I had to have a song stuck in my head, this is a good one to have! (To see the “official version” for better picture quality, click here!) -
Meet Me Halfway
8 Sep 2009 | 8:14 pmI used to think that the more “hits” I had on my blog a day signified how much of an impact I was making in the infertility world. I thought that the more people I “reached” through my writing, the more people would relate to my struggle. Of course now that this blog is more that two years old, I know the real truth. Today Hubby and I hung out downtown after I got off work today. Oprah had conveniently closed down Michigan Avenue to celebrate her 24th season opener. And — even though I’d love to say Hubby and I went down there because we’re such…
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Maybe If You Just Relax
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Not the kind of baby weight I wanted to lose.
17 Nov 2009 | 4:25 pmThis may surprise you, but sometimes I make a big deal out of things that are totally not a big deal. I know. It's a very shocking revelation. I'm sorry if I sprung this on you at a bad time. I hope that you did not fall and hit your head or puncture your scrotum or twist an ovary.Right.Olivia had her 9 month well visit today. And she is well. Oh yes she is! Howevever, she did lose weight. -
All the cool kids know Murgdan!
16 Nov 2009 | 2:51 amA while back, I asked you about your favorite blogs. A while back, like, the beginning of September. And some of you asked about my favorite blogs.Look, I meant to get on this, like, three months ago, but then all kinds of stuff happened (no it didn't) and I got really bizzy (not really) and then I forgot (sort of a half truth here) and I've been up all night for weeks trying to make this -
38 Weeks, 6 Days
13 Nov 2009 | 3:03 amMark posted this picture of us on Facebook. After I recovered from the brief horror of my unrecognizable ankles, I felt all nostalgic. It was about three weeks before we had Olivia. We were so excited! We had no idea what we were in for!I loved being pregnant. I thought pregnant was the beez kneez.Pregnant thought I was an asshole.But I didn't care. Cankles, Gestational Diabetes, Preeclampsia, -
FET: makes me feel all stabby
11 Nov 2009 | 4:16 pmI'm not sure if I ever mentioned to you how much I love Dunkin Donuts coffee. But I love it, like, a lot. If it had a leg, it is possible that I would hump it. Or I would have to try really hard to refrain from humping it. Or I would only refrain from humping it because I wouldn't want to burn my Lady Business or waste the delicious coffee that would surely spill from the gyration of my lumpy -
My name is Jennepper, and I am full of The Giddy over New Moon
8 Nov 2009 | 7:46 amRandom Thoughts:What is the drawing in the classroom that has an ovary in its head?I'm going to start choking people. By accident.Anyone else think that Taylor Swift should be a brunette? I want to molest Robert Pattinson.Three weeks until I see New Moon.I miss Will Ferrell.
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glow in the woods
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What Lies Inside
17 Nov 2009 | 12:42 pmJust yesterday, the US Preventative Services Task Force recommended that women begin regular mammogram screening at age 50, not at age 40 as previously stated. Furthermore, they announced that going in every two years was plenty of prevention, not annually, thankyouverymuch. (There's a full-blown detailed article in the New York Times here (sign in may be required to read article), and a more scaled-down article at CNN here.) The announcement, needless to say, is quite controversial. On the one hand, the panel points to reams of data claiming that overexposure is a much greater risk than not. -
one day at suppertime
13 Nov 2009 | 5:17 amI will always be suffocating on my own sorrow. ... How do you come back from this type of thing? Will this loss always define me? Should I feel guilty for not wanting it to define me? Or guilty because I want it to? Oh, how to navigate this new part of my life... One aching mother left this on our discussion board, not the first nor the last time the very same questions have surfaced there. I remember wondering the very same things myself. How do you come back from this type of thing? You don't—but you won't always suffocate on your own sorrow. You will become something else. You will… -
Random walk
9 Nov 2009 | 1:39 pmWhy are we here? All of us, I mean, humanity? Philosophers have been at this for millennia. So have uncounted and uncountable others. What we call regular people. Happy, unhappy, kind, lonely, content, brilliant, sad, successful, lovely, mean-- all kinds of people. I found my answer long ago. I would like to say that I found it in my freshman biology class, but I would probably be lying. I certainly met the concept there, but it wasn't until a few years later, when my work in the lab required me to consider its moving parts, or maybe not even fully until I started teaching, that the idea… -
running on the spot
29 Oct 2009 | 12:25 pmInside is a mile-long glossy bar holding up various suits and skirts and a slew of dewy cocktails. The light is perfectly dim and golden, flattering. Our friendly Australian bartender has moved on after having slung us five perfectly mixed martinis of the pink variety. We cheers and clink, smile for a photo taken with someone’s Crackberry. I end up at the head of the table. We’re sitting on the patio against a black glass wall that shows our reflections like a mirror in a darkened room. I see one, two, four faces sitting opposite each other, mostly blonde, mostly under 35. -
why me?
26 Oct 2009 | 5:01 amThroughout the journey of losing my child, I have never asked myself, Why me? Honestly, it’s just not a question I ask. Not because I wonder but won’t let myself ask. But because I could just as easily ask, Why not me? And because I already know the answer(s). Why me? Because Tikva needed me as her mother, to love and hold her on her BIG journey. Why me? Because there was a part deep inside me that was calling out – even if I didn’t know it – to be cracked open, stretched and expanded in this way. Why me? Because even when I doubted it, Life knew I could do this.
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Infertility on the Brain!
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Head Spins
19 Nov 2009 | 1:46 pmThanks SO much for all of your congrats! It's been very exciting to read your responses!It's been an overwhelmingly exciting week, and my head is spinning with everything from OB's to bella bands.We are so happy, albeit cautiously. It's been fun to share the news with our family. Of course we preface everything with, "it's still early" and "anything can happen", but it's still very awesome news. The relief I feel about this possibly being it, about NOT having to go through another cycle, is amazing. No more GonalF? Ever? Graduating from my R.E.? Seriously? Not us? Is that even possible?!!!I… -
Two Beautiful Beating Hearts
16 Nov 2009 | 2:29 pmSo... I tried not to, but I definitely spent much of the day pretty nervous. And then the R.E. had to do a consult with the other R.E. this afternoon, so we waited until about 4:40 to have the ultrasound, when the appointment was for 4:00. I swear I've read every magazine in my R.E.'s office, multiple times. They had us in the room for about 15 minutes as well, so I asked Mr. PJ to go ahead and do the ultrasound. He was just about to lube up the wand when the R.E. finally came in!Anyway, as soon as he put the wand in he said there were two, but hey... let's look at this one first....And I was… -
Getting Past a Point
14 Nov 2009 | 11:11 amI know many of you know my history, but humor me, I'm feeling the drama today...When we first started IVF, I was so excited about doing a cycle. And though I had read about various pitfalls that could occur, at numerous stages of the game, I thought surely they could not happen to me. I thought, if we were willing to try, to sacrifice, then surely we'd have success. Maybe not with the first attempt, but maybe with the next. I was naive, but not unrealistic.Then my first cycle was cancelled. I only had three eggs.Then my second cycle was cancelled. I only had two eggs. For the third cycle, I… -
I don't know...
11 Nov 2009 | 3:10 pmI hate to say it, but I don't really feel like things are progressing. It could all be in my head, but I feel a sudden decrease in symptoms over the past few days. Like, my breasts are sore, but not AS sore. I get a little nauseous in the morning, but not nearly AS nauseous. I'm still tired, but not AS tired. I don't know... symptoms can come and go but this is not a good sign.Feeling kind of melancholy and helpless and lost, at the moment. There's nothing I can do but wait and pray for a miricle. -
I Have Decided...
6 Nov 2009 | 2:41 pmI have decided that I am indecisive. I thank you all for your many and varied advice. I haven't requested HCG or an ultrasound, but I may. My center is on the smallish side, and I think they would fit me in next week if I'm wigging out. The big answer I want of course, is whether there is a heartbeat. That's really the only thing that would make me feel a whole lot better.Not to be cliche, but it will be what it will be. It's out of my hands. I'm trying really hard to keep myself busy and not to think about it.I'm taking some small comfort in the fact that I get waves of nausea/gagginess.
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life from here: musings from the edge
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distance (updated)
12 Nov 2009 | 11:04 pmThank you so much for your outpouring of support. Every one of your kind words and thoughts reached their way through the box and warmed my ailing heart. Seriously, many thanks for all the virtual love. I needed that. I still have not spoken with her. We got the news about my mom on Monday, while she was still under anesthesia from opening her up before they determined that she was inoperable. Since then, she’s been sedated by painkillers for her incision, and all communication has funneled through her husband, my stepfather of 25 years. As I explained before, my mom hasn’t wanted… -
losing battle
9 Nov 2009 | 11:28 pmIt’s inoperable. My mother is dying. It may be a few months, or a few weeks. Or longer. I have no idea. We had hoped with this surgery that she’d still have some years left in her. But it was not to be. Just a few months ago she was a vibrant woman, enjoying life and love, her grandchildren, travel. She was only just showing signs of slowing down… Now I fear she will have lost all hope. There are no good options left. Maybe the doctors will be able to convince her that a certain treatment might enable some quality of life, in spite of the side effects. My guess is she will… -
open adoption roundtable: on openness
5 Nov 2009 | 9:41 pmThe most recent prompt by Heather at the Open Adoption Roundtable asks open adoption bloggers whether they agree with some common critiques about openness in adoption. The views cited share one thing in common, “a certain point-of-view: that direct contact during early childhood between birth families and children placed for adoption may not be the best idea” and that adoptees, not their parents, should be able to decide if and when to initiate contact on their own timetable. As a new adoptive mother in a fully open adoption, I obviously disagree with this view for many of the… -
creepy crawly web
30 Oct 2009 | 1:17 pm~ Happy Halloween!~ … may you have more treats than tricks this year! image courtesy of the Amazing M -
sweet patch
27 Oct 2009 | 11:20 pmSo much to say, so little time… and not sure how much to share. It’s been a busy week here and we are recovering from our weekend away. Another post will have to be forthcoming on that, as I am still processing. It was all good, really. It’s just that there is so much to ponder. But now ’tis the season to think of spiders and witches and little goblins. And pumpkins. This time last year, we were moving full steam ahead with our adoption outreach when I had a major setback one fall Sunday afternoon. We had gone to our local pumpkin patch for some harvest fun, yet it was…
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Reproductive Jeans
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Brought to you by: The Letter O
19 Nov 2009 | 1:18 pmO is for O-MAN (of course!)I dont need to spend a whole post telling you how much I love the O-man. I will tell you that my love for him is like the letter O: never ending :) Cue cheesy, "Awwwww" response!And Mr. O-man is under the weather today--I was proud of myself for listening to that Mom-Instinct I was worried would never kick in, and sure enough--he has a double ear infection, so he's not his jovial self today.He has slept most of the day--and barely made it through our last swim class (this was before I knew of the ear infections-but Im glad I kept his head above water today!) but I… -
Brought to you by: The Letter N
18 Nov 2009 | 5:44 pmN is for NOISEThere are all types and levels--but sometimes silence is the loudest of all noises. It was a rainy, cold, fall day here--got me into my melancholy-analyze-everything-kind-of-mood...so I kept the TV off, the music on low, and O-man's music-maker toys in the off position. The silence was very peaceful...But then I realized it was too quiet. Quick solution? Give the O-man a spoon and a kitchen pot, and noise will return to the room!Poof! Melancholy silence: be gone! -
Brought to you by: The Letter M
17 Nov 2009 | 8:39 pmM is for MOTIVATIONI don't think the letter M is "yucky"--just loved that I could finally feature Oscar the Grouch! Webster's defines motivation as: a force, stimulus, drive.Motivating me right now? My old nemesis, Aunt Flo. She's motivating me to make some decisions I have been putting off.Some people, or most people, as the nurse kindly told me at my postpartum check up back in March, have "much lighter periods and light cramping" after giving birth.Weeelllllll, I am not most people. But we all knew that a long time ago. So it has not come as a surprise that I have had heavier periods with… -
Brought to you by: The Letter L
16 Nov 2009 | 11:15 amL is for LAUNDRYI don't mind sorting the laundry.I don't mind starting a load and adding the detergent.I don't mind folding the laundry.But I LOATHE putting it away.So I convinced a tiny person to help me put off doing that last part.Best basket of laundry ever. -
Brought to you by: The Letter K
15 Nov 2009 | 6:43 pmK is for KAYAKThat's me earlier this summer:First time I had been out in my kayak in a year and a half...and it felt so good. I love being on the water...by myself...paddling away. To make this even better, I am in the bay of my grandparent's beach house--one of my favorite places.Ive mentioned how much this place means to me before--it's where Mook and I sought solace after our IVF failed, and its also where I thought I had lost O-man when we discovered my hematoma...Being out there, breathing in fresh salt air, re-living both those powerful moments--and knowing that my miracle boy was…
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Sell Crazy Someplace Else
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Comme Ci, Comme Ca
20 Nov 2009 | 1:54 pmNothing much going on here. Just wanted to let y'all know that I'm still here and doing OK.JD is also doing OK. A month into his new job, he's concerned that he doesn't really know what he's doing (the code is something that he's not familiar with), but he does think it's cool that he got paid to watch Mission Control launch Atlantis.Yesterday, my friend, BB, and I went to Hockey 'n' Heels, a Caps event for women. It was awesome! We got to go out on the Caps' practice ice with some players and try to score a goal, win a faceoff, and learn stickhandling. Then, we got to try on some equipment… -
WFMW - Evaluating
18 Nov 2009 | 6:15 amAt the end of every year, most people take stock -- of their lives, their families and themselves. Have you done that with your blog?This year, there is a new tool to help you take stock of your blog, assess your best posts of 2009, and meet new bloggers. The Golden Haiku is hosted by Mel of Stirrup Queens. Every blogger from every corner of the blogosphere can join and should!As Mel writes, "we all have a best post tucked into our archives. We all have words that have moved another person or have ideas that have kicked off a series of musings. Bloggers are writers and all of us deserve to be… -
Yoga for Fertility Retreat - DC Area
13 Nov 2009 | 7:38 amHi all! Just wanted to put in a plug for a Yoga for Fertility Retreat taught by my yoga teacher!____________________Join us for this day long retreat into the healing power of Yoga for Fertility...Yoga for Fertility RetreatSunday, December 6th 8 AM-4 PMPulling Down the Moon -- Rockville, MDJoin Pulling Down the Moon Instructor Sara Shelley for a day long retreat exploring the healing power of yoga for fertility. At this unique event you will learn the program that literally thousands of women have used to help them get pregnant since 2002. At this retreat you will learn:Asana - a specific… -
Day of Detox
10 Nov 2009 | 8:18 amTo follow up on yesterday's post, I thought I'd give an example of a typical day on my detox diet.Breakfast: Oatmeal with rice milk and berriesMid-Morning: Detox shake; ClementineLunch: Quinoa-Vegetable Soup & rice crackers and Superfruit shakeTeatime: Detox shake; AppleDinner: Pecan-crusted chicken breast with brown rice mix and broccoliIt is entirely do-able, but requires planning. The only problem I've had has been in getting off caffeine. I had some bad migraines the first two days, but only had a light headache yesterday afternoon.It's also hard thinking about having to do this over… -
In Which I Drink Chalky Liquids
9 Nov 2009 | 1:10 pmFor the past couple of months, my weight has been yo-yo'ing up and down -- I gain a lot during the 2WW and then have to lose it all before the next cycle. In order to get past that, I'm going to try something new. Well, I've done it before, but this time it's sort of different.Anyways, remember how I started seeing a nutritionist for fertility and did a detox diet and lost about 25 pounds earlier of this year? Well, my nutritionist moved and I had completed the detox and then I started cycling, so I was just eating like normal (normal for me, not normal for average humans). Guess what? I…
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Outlandish Notions
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He’s here
5 Nov 2009 | 10:46 amIf you haven’t already heard, the Boy is here with us — he joined our family last Thursday night. 8 lb 3 oz, 20 inches long and absolutely beautiful. I’ve been trying to piece things together for a real post, but that looks like it’s a while off now. Cliff notes version, short easy labor (with the epidural which was totally worth it), followed by jaundice, milk coming in latelate, and finally things starting to look like they’ll sort themselves out. I’ll be around, and hopefully get to finish up my birth story post which got half-done in the hospital… -
No, I haven’t had the baby yet.
23 Oct 2009 | 7:45 pmSome choice quotes from the other night with my husband’s family: Gramma: Why, you’re not nearly as big as I thought you’d be by now! Aunt: Oh, she’s ready to deliver any day now — just look at her nose! SIL: Let me break it to you, you won’t be getting your belly back any time soon. Thanks. Just thanks. I started having contractions Tuesday afternoon, which freaked me out enough to call Manly and ask him to keep his phone nearby, which freaked him out enough to come home and stay with me even though all I did was go upstairs to take a nap. Since then… -
37 weeks
19 Oct 2009 | 4:54 pmAnother quickie since I’m supposed to be helping someone else with a project… 37 weeks is considered full-term at their office, and they would not do anything to stop labor at this point 3+ cm dialated (almost 4) 25% effaced -2 station negative for group b strep blood pressure 114/64 no weight gain since last visit (up total of 24 lb at this point) baby’s heart beat 154 bpm quote, “If I was a betting man, I’d bet that you won’t make it til next week’s appointment.” Sharah’s note: remember, this is the same guy who told me I… -
Checking in
16 Oct 2009 | 5:56 pmNow I appear to have reached “that” point. The point where random friends and family have started checking in to make sure I haven’t had the baby and we decided to keep it a secret from all and sundry. Really, peeps, when the baby is here, we will be shouting it from the rooftop. The hospital has wireless internet for a reason. We have an appointment tomorrow at the local photography place to get a formal sitting of me and Manly before the baby comes. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while, but the last few weeks I’ve been afraid that the baby… -
No news is … no news, I guess.
13 Oct 2009 | 3:41 pmI’ve apparently reached “that” point — where all the women in my office (especially those about my mother’s age) pass me in the hall, look at me with pity, and go “Oh, honey, when are you due?” My boss even said that he could tell I was there when I waddled into his office yesterday. My pelvis feels like it’s trying to split down the joint in the front (depending on how far down he’s curled up) and it hurts to get up and walk. My hands ache in the joints because they’ve gotten so swollen. I keep seeing mucus-y stuff when I go…
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Production, Not Reproduction
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No Yes Inspiration Obsession
20 Nov 2009 | 11:13 amI've seen this meme floating around and it somehow seems just right on this windy Friday... Saying no to: Feeling grumpy Letting people down Watching burn-out creep in Saying yes to: Taking the time I need to finish things Being braver. Just a wee bit. Baking as much as I want, without apology Giddy about: Homemade Thanksgiving pies Firefly's laugh Warm, toasty waffles Scared of: Not being able to hold all the pieces together All the possible endings for a loved one in crisis Doing the wrong thing The bugs which shall not be named but rhyme with dockpoaches Deeply inspired by: Beautiful prose… -
EnviroMom Meatless Supper Club: Southwestern Corn & Potato Soup
18 Nov 2009 | 11:55 pmThis week we tried a new soup recipe from my beloved uber-healthy vegetarian cookbook. Because when it gets cloudy and windy like it has the last several days, I start craving soup. I was intrigued by this recipe for a Southwestern corn soup that incorporated sweet potato, so I thought we'd give it a whirl. I've put up a picture but...it's chunky yellow soup. There's no way my meager photography skills could make it look like anything but the subject of my four-year old's potty humor. You'll have to trust me when I say it tasted far better than it looks in the photo. The results: We liked it! -
Open Adoption Roundtable #10
17 Nov 2009 | 11:46 amThe Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It's designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. You don't need to be part of the Open Adoption Bloggers list to participate, or even be in a traditional open adoption. If you're thinking about openness in adoption, you have a place at the table. Publish your response during the next two weeks--linking back here so we can all find one other--and leave a link to your post in the comments. If you don't blog, you can always leave your thoughts directly… -
Developments
13 Nov 2009 | 1:20 amWe've had an interesting--and unexpected--series of emails this week. Someone in Firefly's extended family, on her birth dad's side, reached out to us through the adoption agency. To understand why they were so unexpected, you should know that Kevin chose not to tell anyone in his family about Firefly until over a year after her birth and placement. From the accounts of it that reached us, his disclosure had just the effect he intended: there was an immediate explosion of fury directed at anyone who had anything to do with Firefly's life or adoption. The emotions ricocheted around and… -
EnviroMom Meatless Supper Club: Udon Noodles with Bok Choy
11 Nov 2009 | 10:33 pmThis is Heather's husband, Todd. She is feeling very ill right now, but not because of these noodles. She woke up last night---well, you don't need any details. She has commissioned me to post this photo and recipe on her blog. I thought they tasted great. I had three servings and Firefly ate them like crazy. She eats most things well. Puppy was a bit hesitant, but finished his plate. When Heather called them peanut butter noodles he seemed to be more open. As we can not use cheese due to Firefly's milk sensitivity, peanut butter has become a go-to protein source. So…
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Weebles Wobblog
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Show & Tell: Better off red
18 Nov 2009 | 3:00 pmThe kids were both in school but Roger and I had Veteran's Day off. So we had a date in our city.After lunch (which included acai sangria), we strolled over three of Denver's bridges toward downtown. On the way, we found this:Photo by Jeffrey Beall (his is better than mine).National Velvet is by artist John McEnroe (not the tennis player, I presume). The sculpture was dedicated a year ago -
Perfect Moment Monday: Win-Win Wars
15 Nov 2009 | 11:01 pmPerfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between.Once a week we engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join. Details on how to participate are at the bottom of this post, complete with bloggy bling.Please visit the links of the participants at -
Shout Out Sunday: Wild Women of the Universe!
15 Nov 2009 | 11:51 amMelissa at Full Circle recently started Shout Out Sundays:Choose a blog that has moved you. A daily must read. One you stalk. One that makes you laugh, cry or scream at the monitor. A new one you would like to give exposure to. Someone you would like to introduce to your readers and send a warm fuzzy while you're at it.Write your post and add your link over at the love fest at Full Circle.Here's -
Hotel Rwanda and open adoption parenting
13 Nov 2009 | 6:00 am -
Show & Tell: Tatt Two
11 Nov 2009 | 4:00 pmWe spent last weekend in Colorado Springs with 19 extended family members. Seventeen of them cheered at the Air Force/Army game (for the away team). But Tessa and I headed to nearby Manitou Springs for some girlie-girl time.Manitou Springs is an earthy, small mountain town with an inviting personality. Tessa and I window shopped along the main street, played with toys in the toy store, sat on
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Welcome To The Dollhouse
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This Kidlet
17 Nov 2009 | 9:03 pmreally had to write about this evening with my kid. It was at the end of another frustrating day where I didn’t manage to get enough work done, I wasn’t able to secure help with getting our kitty down to the city for her daily radiation therapy treatment for her adenocarcinoma, I had forgotten to find out what type of vision insurance we had, and my dear AdoringHusband had come up with some name like, VisionPlus, that I know didn’t exist. Then I had the bright idea to take Zara with me to LensCrafters to pick out a new pair of frames because the ones I’m wearing are… -
It’s Hard Being An Egalitarian
13 Nov 2009 | 12:43 pmI don’t know whether or not this is normal, but it seems as if the older I get, the more I struggle with understanding or relating to those of my own sex. Sure, I’ve written about it before. A few times. This is not news. Yet old age and menopause seem to be causing me to lose the dispassionate whatever attitude I’ve had about my differences with many (dare I say most) women throughout my life. Yes, I consider myself to be a feminist or womanist, yet both those terms often take on different connotations or meanings than the rather simplistic definition I use. Feminism has… -
That’s Much Better
4 Nov 2009 | 10:32 pmLast year’s Halloween photos: This year’s photos: I’d say this constitutes improvement! Real post coming soon…I promise. -
Bee-yotch Squared
20 Oct 2009 | 10:00 amI’ll admit it. I’ve never really understood or gotten along well with most women. Except for my shoe fetishism, I just don’t have the female hardwiring. I never have. Evil Mother socialized me in a more gender neutral manner (though there was occasional emphasis on being ladylike…something I never heeded). So all the fawning over fashion mags, giggling and screaming, nice-to-your-face-but-talk-about-you-behind-your-back passive-aggressive crap was never part of my experience. I’d watch the female goings-on with puzzled detachment, wondering whether I was missing… -
Vote for Zara
14 Oct 2009 | 12:32 pm’ve finally gone and lost my mind. I’ve become that mom. What did I do now, you ask? Well I’ve entered Zara in the Gap Casting Call contest. Start throwing the tomatoes now. At least it wasn’t Toddlers and Tiaras! This decision is probably a combination of wanting to show off my beauteous daughter and feeling pretty pleased with my photographic skills. Whatever it is, I think Zizi deserves your votes. Come on…she’s saddled with me for a mother, after all! Zara C. Baby Girl ID: 98151649 Philadelphia, PA Fan Favorite Votes: 0 Vote for me so I can be the Fan…
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Artificially Sweetened
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Be careful what you ask
12 Nov 2009 | 7:02 amMe, somewhat anxiously: What’s that in your mouth P’ito? He, opening wide and displaying a lovely yellow thing on his tongue: It’s a booger, Mama! Me: Well, I guess that’s not a choking hazard… -
Apropos of absolutely nothing
6 Nov 2009 | 10:32 amThere seems to be something that draws unusual vanity plates to the block in front of my work. Seen in the past few months. PLZVOTE S1NG 1T HDSHRNKR SENILE1 And on a tow truck nearby: NEXT WEEK Spotted closer to home: SIDE JOB2 – makes me wonder – what is side job 1? And did side job2 pay for the car? I assume that’s the story behind the car I see parked in our neighborhood with the vanity plate PKRMONEY. What is the best vanity plate you’ve seen? What would you put on a vanity plate if you had one? (Or, what is on your vanity plate, if you’ve got one?) -
One very small example of why we need healthcare reform
3 Nov 2009 | 1:30 pmAbout a month ago, I checked online to see when my supplies were coming from Minimed. Everything looked fine, except for the test strips, which said “cash pricing” $360 Every other time I’ve ordered them from MM, they have been covered by insurance. I spent about 45 minutes on the phone with a representative from MM who finally assured me that yes, they were covered. Guess what happened next? Test strips arrive, I start using them and… then Bill. For $360. I call Minimed back (another 30 minutes on hold) only to be told that at some point this year (in the middle of… -
To daycare with love
14 Oct 2009 | 7:11 pmHow do you thank someone… who has taught your son to hold his p*nis and aim it successfully in the potty? That’s a lot to learn But what can I give you in return? -
CSA FAIL or I may never eat lettuce again
7 Oct 2009 | 8:47 pmI had a lovely salad earlier, composed of lettuce and peppers from our CSA. A few minutes ago I was taking the rest of the unused but washed lettuce out of the salad spinner to put in the fridge and I popped a little handful of lettuce into my mouth. It had an unusually crunchy texture, followed by a nasty taste. I spat it out and this is what I saw (after the break, for the weak of stomach or heart) Bug in Salad Spinner ETA, about an hour later: oh god, it is still there, in the salad spinner, but it has moved. It is not dead. It is undead. Dear Internets, I had an inch+ long live…
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omegamom.com
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China trips
19 Nov 2009 | 11:55 pmInstant negotiation mode: Anyone who has been a parent can recognize that. It’s when the child asks for something, and you give an answer that isn’t what that child wants, and the child immediately starts pushing the boundary back. It’s how “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” gets magically re-arranged into “yes” in a child’s mind. It’s how “next Saturday” becomes “tomorrow” when there’s talk of a friend coming over, or “one piece of candy after dinner” turns… -
Under pressure
18 Nov 2009 | 11:44 pmNovember keeps going, and I keep posting. But by this point in time, it starts dragging. I open up the blogging software and stare at a blank page, thinking, “There must be something interesting to blog about!” Oh, there is. I have my little list of questions to answer, from earlier in the month. There’s still the “did you ever think of a sibling for OmegaDotter?” and the “There are people who deliberately cut off the culture of heritage?!?!” questions. There’s also the comments on my “Dear Diary” post, which I do… -
Pets. Who needs them.
17 Nov 2009 | 11:30 pmI’m very tired. I’ve spent the day putting small amounts of medicated water into the beak of a very very sick chicken, who wasn’t eating and wasn’t drinking. And now I have to wrap up a dead chicken and figure out what to do with her. Then I have to figure out how to let the dotter know that yet another of our pets has died. Somewhere in there, I want to go to bed and sleep for days. Chickens may be dumb clucks, but they have personalities and character. Sarafina was a very sweet bird. -
Off to quarantine…
16 Nov 2009 | 11:17 pm…Goes one of our chickens. She’s been coughing and pretty languid for a couple of days; when we checked the chickens this evening, she had a bloody nose. Dr. Google didn’t help. But after some digging, the only things I could find that produce a bloody nostril discharge in chickens were avian influenza (ack!) and a piece by the USDA that said “serious avian disease”. I was meaning to respond to some comments made by new readers to my post Dear Diary, but that will have to wait. (Thanks to TonguMom for the link!) Time to go out into the 17… -
Fantasy gem #1
16 Nov 2009 | 12:18 amLong ago and far away, when I was a teen-seguing-into-young-adult, I worked downtown in Chicago. A block away from my office was Carson Pirie Scott & Co. (…sigh…), there were glamorous stores galore on State Street, and half a block away was the wondrousness that was Kroch’s & Brentano’s bookstore. The paperback books were downstairs, and the science fiction area was tucked away in the back righthand corner. It was a glorious spot for me to hang out in on rainy or snowy days, either during lunch hour or after work. For a few years, I noticed a…
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Life in the Soupbowl
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PSA: If you are looking for a rescue doggie to love.......
20 Nov 2009 | 10:25 amA friend of mine emailed me this Information: I thought I would pass it on, since I am a huge advocate for rescuing puppers! As you know, our 2 puppers are rescues and they are the sweetest things to us on earth!Dairyland Greyhound Racetrack in Kenosha , Wisconsin will be closing on December 31, 2009. 900 Greyhounds will need to be adopted otherwise they will be euthanized, now is a great time to consider adopting a Greyhound. They are very loving and laid back. They don't need the space people think they need. They are great for an active family because they have been crated almost all their… -
Wordless Wednesday: All dressed up and nowhere to go?
18 Nov 2009 | 6:19 amKeifer, our Keifer. You so enjoyed putting on Nana Margie's fancy shoes last month when we visited them. I think the click-clack of heels is the most appealing sound to any little girl I know. :) -
Snoozing
13 Nov 2009 | 7:37 pmThis was on Sunday morning, around 9:45 AM. Our girl was watching a video on her Ipod and passed out cold, complete with snores. And for the icing on the cake, you'll be able to hear Kyla burping off camera. Hee hee. Daylights savings can do that to a girl! Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing -
Park Day
13 Nov 2009 | 12:03 pmLast weekend, we were blessed in MN (in NOVEMBER!) to have temperatures in the high 50's, and actually break into the low '60's! Wow! Because we typically are housebound by the cold by this point, we took advantage of the extra time in the outdoors, and took Keifer girl to the park near our house 2 days in a row! Oh my, how this girl loves the park. She talks about going to the park all.the.time, and we hear squeals of delight when we see the park within our visual radar. Saturday, Daddy took K1 to the park (alone): they walked and K1 ran to her heart's content in the wonderful Fall weather. -
A VERY Belated 5 month post: here's Miss Lovely
12 Nov 2009 | 9:35 amHey, mama! I love the camera! I'm turning out to be just as big of a ham as my Keifer sissy was! Hmmm....I like to look at the animals on my walls...they are so fun to chat to! And, look what socks Keifer is wearing in HER 5 month picture: the same ones I had on Kyla for hers! Sissies! Socks! Cuties!You can also see the tiny resemblence my moon-faced girls have to each other: you can really see it sometimes, and other days, Kyla just looks like, well: KYLA!So I realize that I'm a slacker lately. Like, the hugest slacker ever- poor Kyla. We do all her "monthly" pictures way later than we…
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No swimmers in the tubes, no bun in the oven
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Who does he look like?
19 Nov 2009 | 10:24 amFirst of all, I'm not one of those infertility bloggers who pops out a kid and suddenly disappears. It may seem like it lately, but I swear I'm not. I've just been struggling with what to write. Not that I don't have a bazillion things to say, but I wasn't quite sure that it should be said here.Then I remembered how so many of you have said that you appreciate my honesty. I've never censored myself here, and now isn't the time to start. So, I'm going to continue to write what's on my mind. Some days it might be about surviving infertility. Some days it might be about loss. Other days it might… -
Blake wants you to know...
11 Nov 2009 | 6:59 pm...that is really fun to puke, pee, and poop on mom. During a single diaper change. Just for shits and giggles. And because he can. -
Professional photos
4 Nov 2009 | 1:52 pmLast week B, Blake, and I had our first professional photos taken. I was a little weary, still feeling quite cow-like, but I LOVE the way they turned out. Sister Song did an amazing job and I highly recommend them to anyone!We even had a picture of Blake's feet with the girls ring. So precious.Anyway, check out our pics here. * * * In other news, Tiffany has won the Sherbie birth game! She was the closest to the actual birth date/time, with a guess of September 15th at 7pm. Congrats Tiffany! Send me an email at noswimmers@gmail.com and we'll get your RESOLVE membership going. Yay! And a big… -
Halloween
2 Nov 2009 | 8:43 amBlake decided to be a pea pod for his first Halloween. Not that he really had a choice. Mabel and Tungsten cowered in a corner, afraid they were next (they hate getting dressed up). Once they figured out the little human was the recipient of such torture, they laughed their doggie asses off.A pissed-off pea pod:He gave up after a while:Two peas in a pod: See what I live with?A pooped-out pea pod: -
Tuesday night randomness
27 Oct 2009 | 6:47 pmBirth announcement:Thank you all so much for your help with the birth announcement! It's one of those things I really couldn't figure out. I haven't written it yet, but I'll share it when I do.The Sherbie baby pool:I didn't forget about the giveaway, promise! I've just been a bit distracted by a little screaming, eating, pooping human.There is a bit of a dilemma, though. I didn't clarify how the winner would be determined. Each guess (birth date, time, weight, etc.) is given a point value. I could either go with the person closest to the birth date, or I could go with the person who had the…
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a little pregnant
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Breathes life into
17 Nov 2009 | 1:50 amIt hadn't seemed so serious that morning, when the NICU nurse called early to say we should be there. Of course we'd go, I said, just like we did every morning, in time for his first feeding, just after morning... -
Quickie
9 Nov 2009 | 6:51 pmOur Halloween party...wasn't. There were a few casual acceptances by friends who never showed, and so the informal open house I'd envisioned ended up instead as a quick dinner with the family of one (1) of Charlie's friends and his... -
Three things that make me feel queasy
30 Oct 2009 | 9:53 amFrom antiangie on Twitter: "I'm not sure what you should do with this, just telling you it exists." Jerry O'Connell is writing a memoir about parenthood. Its title: Cry, Feed, (Make Love to Wife), Burp. I for one can't wait... -
I bet they'd come if I made the frightening hand
28 Oct 2009 | 9:03 amI'd been toying with the idea for a couple of weeks, to invite people over for a casual gathering before Saturday night trick-or-treating. I'd order pizza for the kids, put together a few amusing edibles for the adults — certainly... -
Your invitation is in the mail
21 Oct 2009 | 8:09 amThis morning's breakfast conversation: Charlie: When Ben and I are grown men, we'll still be brothers. But we won't live in the same house. Julie, thinking, I hope not, because that'll mean both of you are in prison: You could...
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Barren Mare
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Things to make me feel better
19 Nov 2009 | 12:59 pmThis is going to be relatively short because I am just exhausted this week and I desperately want to go to bed by 9pm. I crashed out at 9.30 the other night and was astounded at how much better I... -
Polar explorers
12 Nov 2009 | 1:23 pmWe're into the dark days now, waking up in the dark, coming home in the dark. Dark. The urge to hibernate is sort of overpowering. All I want to do once I put Botany to bed is lie down on... -
Trifecta
5 Nov 2009 | 1:09 pmTo complete a trilogy of posts debating having a second child, I bring you some of the random, stream of thought musings that pass through my head on the subject, on a more or less hourly basis. Sleep. I don't... -
Sun signs
28 Oct 2009 | 2:21 pmWe changed the clocks back on Sunday, and already it feels like a sudden plummet into winter. The dark, it makes me sleepy. And cold. Already I feel the urge to huddle around the radiator for warmth (since my fireplace... -
Clean slate
21 Oct 2009 | 1:31 pmI'm reading all your comments on the last post with great interest; many thanks to those who took the time to respond and share your own experiences. Since several people asked, I think I may as well address the infertility...
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Barren Mare
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Things to make me feel better
19 Nov 2009 | 12:59 pmThis is going to be relatively short because I am just exhausted this week and I desperately want to go to bed by 9pm. I crashed out at 9.30 the other night and was astounded at how much better I... -
Polar explorers
12 Nov 2009 | 1:23 pmWe're into the dark days now, waking up in the dark, coming home in the dark. Dark. The urge to hibernate is sort of overpowering. All I want to do once I put Botany to bed is lie down on... -
Trifecta
5 Nov 2009 | 1:09 pmTo complete a trilogy of posts debating having a second child, I bring you some of the random, stream of thought musings that pass through my head on the subject, on a more or less hourly basis. Sleep. I don't... -
Sun signs
28 Oct 2009 | 2:21 pmWe changed the clocks back on Sunday, and already it feels like a sudden plummet into winter. The dark, it makes me sleepy. And cold. Already I feel the urge to huddle around the radiator for warmth (since my fireplace... -
Clean slate
21 Oct 2009 | 1:31 pmI'm reading all your comments on the last post with great interest; many thanks to those who took the time to respond and share your own experiences. Since several people asked, I think I may as well address the infertility...
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Flotsam
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For Preemies.
17 Nov 2009 | 3:28 pmThis is my daughter, about two days old. I don’t have many pictures from the early days, and those I do have little in them for scale, unless you are intimately acquainted with Neobars and nasogastric tubes. So here is a link to a larger version of that photo, too big to fit here, but almost exactly life-sized. Yes. Almost exactly life-sized. It doesn’t seem possible to me, either. Because my book is about the NICU, I’ve been spending a lot of time remembering the baby in that picture above. I stumble out of my room at the end of the day, and it is so strange to see this… -
I Can Croon “Hello, Sailors” in Latin.
16 Nov 2009 | 7:01 pmJust about a year ago, I posted about the charm Scott bought me from Julian & Co. I discovered their website when I was searching for jewelry to celebrate Simone’s birth. The pieces are lovely, and the artist, Tania, is the mother of a former 29-weeker (her son Julian, for whom the company is named). I feel a certain loyalty to and kinship with other mothers of preemies. We’re like a sorority: a haggard, traumatized sorority, whose parties are known for their stiff drinks and plentiful hand-sanitizer. I sent the link to Scott last October when he asked for birthday ideas, and… -
Nautical.
9 Nov 2009 | 2:18 pmThe renogram was a success. A few days before, I called the nuclear medicine department and found that my pediatrician had been mistaken: Simone would NOT need a catheter, just the IV. The woman I spoke to would be the one performing the test, and she was so lovely and so obviously experienced with toddlers (it is a Children’s Hospital, after all) that I was much less anxious about the lack of sedation. We had a difficult beginning. Simone screamed when she was strapped into a sort of padded bassinet, and screamed while the IV was started, and screamed and sobbed hysterically when she… -
Pip Pip! Cheerio!
2 Nov 2009 | 3:41 pmIn honour of the fact that I appeared yesterday in the Sunday Times, I am going to insert the letter U and replace the letter Z as necessary to make any new British readers feel at home. I don’t foresee a part of the entry in which I mention the back storage compartment of a car, but if there is one, I shall use the term “bonnet” “boot” (thank you, intrepid reader!) You can read the article online, but only those of you who have access to the hard copy will be able to see the lovely layout, with pictures, including one of my beloved Waffle HOLDING a waffle. There was one… -
The Cock-Eyed Optimism Would be Refreshing, if it Weren’t So Wildly Unfounded.
29 Oct 2009 | 9:46 amAt Simone’s appointment last week, her blood pressure was very high. Pediatric blood pressure is confusing, to me, but for those of you who know about these things, it was 114 over 67, otherwise known as HOLY SHIT over MEH. It has been getting progressively higher over the past several months, and as high blood pressure is the complication her nephrologist warned us to look for, this was Trouble. Trouble with a capital T that rhymes with P that stands for Pediatric Renal Failure. Or something. It has been impressed upon me that getting an accurate blood pressure reading from a toddler…
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Julia
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Fleming Florey Moyer and Me
16 Nov 2009 | 1:30 pmIn 1943 my grandmother was living in Alabama with her parents while my grandfather was engaged in Top Secret War Work (in Michigan of all places; the following year they moved to Los Alamos - ahem.) That winter my father... -
Mulligan
10 Nov 2009 | 6:55 pmSome of you pointed out that we might be done with the flu but the flu was probably not done with us and O! how right you were. You know that feeling when you lean forward and it feels like... -
My Cash Drawer
6 Nov 2009 | 1:25 pmI have watched enough Tom & Jerry to last me the rest of my natural life so it is not surprising that I am thinking in cartoon visuals. Right now I am picturing a dust cloud and from it emerges... -
H1NWhatever
1 Nov 2009 | 3:48 pmPatrick came home from school on Wednesday with a blinding headache and the need to fall asleep at five in the afternoon. By Thursday morning he was throwing up. A trip to the doctor on Thursday afternoon landed him with...
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Serenity Now!
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Insanity.
20 Nov 2009 | 2:00 am(Or: How My Friend D Made Me Lose My Head.) (Or, More Truthfully: How I’m Freaking Out About Turning 34.) Two nights ago, I found myself on the phone, making a hotel reservation in Vermont for the weekend of April 24-25, 2010. And I said these words to the hotel clerk. “I’m running the half-marathon that weekend.” I was fortunate enough to make it through my 20s and into my 30s with NO age-related freakouts. In fact, I LOVED turning 30. Maybe it was because 30-something sounded so COOL. Not only was I in my sexual PRIME, but I had also accumulated a bit of wisdom from… -
A (Not totally) Wordless Wednesday: The O Dance.
18 Nov 2009 | 4:14 pmClick here for more WW images. -
(Re) Taking Control.
17 Nov 2009 | 6:16 amYou know what sucks about getting older? Not being able to eat what I want. When I want. In the quantities I want. *sigh* My 34th birthday is next Thursday. And despite my best efforts – the running of the 5Ks this summer, the trying to eat healthy stuff instead of crap, but not really ACCOUNTING for everything that goes into my mouth – last week when I got on a scale I saw my “freakout” number. Everyone has one of those. It’s the number where, when your weight gets close to it, makes you start changing things. You skip the after dinner ice cream. You have salads… -
Life with a toddler.
16 Nov 2009 | 11:28 amThere are some days where I REALLY doubt my ability to be a good mother. Like this morning. Where my reaction to the whining and tantrums makes me feel like crap. (Yes. I yelled. And in the moment where I yelled, and he quieted and looked at me all serious, it made me FEEL BETTER. But then it all came crashing down on me – I don’t WANT to yell, and goodness can’t I be better about not reacting to toddler stuff already?) Where mornings like this seems like every MINUTE is a battle. Where I wish there was a way to REASON with him. Where, when I’m on the way to drop him… -
Early Conversations.
13 Nov 2009 | 8:50 amWe’ve been trying to get O to say “all done!” when he’s done eating forever. Instead of throwing his plate on the floor. Or spitting his food out of his mouth (also onto the floor). Because he knows the sign for all done. One day, he’s wandering the room, eating puffs out of a plastic container. He finishes them. He walks over to me, turns the container upside down, and says: “Empty.” (Apparently “all done” is too, well, ELEMENTARY for him.) _________________________ It’s morning. He’s laying on our changing pad and I’m…
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So Close
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Terms and Conditions Apply
18 Nov 2009 | 8:51 pm4 years ago, in a sudden flash of genius that was part brilliance part madness, I had the seemingly brilliant idea of giving my husband 6 pieces of paper with the words "one free pass" printed on each of them. It seemed liked a really good idea at the time as he is very hard to buy gifts for. However, one key flaw of my idea is that I had not specified the terms and conditions of the offer. I foolishly though that my husband would use the tickets for things like a night out with his wife, or a home cooked meal (clearly not cooked by his wife), a back rub etc. However, Marko… -
Dear ________, Love, me
17 Nov 2009 | 5:57 amI need some advice. As you know (because I've told you ad nauseam), I am extremely unbelievably very (VERY!) busy. Too busy for my own good. Not that I am complaining too much - a busy life is a full life and I would far rather have a life that is a little too full than too empty.However, I have realized that I need to focus my limited resources (time and energy) into the things that are most important - firstly my kids, secondly my income. Oh, and my marriage, but I will be the first to admit that my poor long-suffering husband often goes short-changed. There are things that I… -
My trip away
14 Nov 2009 | 10:34 amSo, let you tell you about my trip away. In a word, it was fantastic! It was so good for me, on so many levels. I've come back feeling unbelievably inspired, driven and motivated. It was very good on a personal level - I feel VERY proud of myself for going. If you know me at all, you will know what a big thing it was for me to leave my kids, my husband, my home and my country. In fact, Sister Mel said that she was more proud of me going away than she was of me writing a book, doing an MBA or starting a business. And my mother and father told me that they were very worried about… -
My gorgeous kids
12 Nov 2009 | 7:09 am(will post about my trip away soon, as soon as I've caught my breath)
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Thalia's fertility journey
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Pob snippets no. 3
24 Oct 2009 | 2:20 am"Put the dummy there, just in case I need it" While watching what looked like a rather fun art activity with a tennis ball, paint, and a lot of newspaper on CBeebies: "Do that tomorrow please" "Poo in the potty, no, pee in the potty, yes!" When I had to brake suddenly: "Going too fast Mummy!" When H and I were both cuddling her and pretending to eat her ears: "Silly Mummy! Silly Daddy!" "Going to the park, Mummy, Daddy, Junior and Pob all together!" "Go to the park soon, after sleep" She is taking great care with pronunciation, particularly... -
I know tomorrow you'll find better things
22 Oct 2009 | 2:23 amThank you for the sympathy. Yesterday was better and today is doing ok so far. Yesterday: I took Junior out for his post-breakfast nap, so I got a walk. He only slept for 30 minutes but when he woke was happy to look at the passing clouds and leaves so it was quite pleasant We walked to the post office where I kicked up enough fuss (and enough money) that they decided to release my domperidone On the way home I sat in Starbucks for 10 minutes, read the paper, ate a cheese and Marmite panini and had a few... -
Bad day
20 Oct 2009 | 1:21 pmToday I: Listened to my baby scream on and off for most of the morning while I tried to get him to nap, gave up but then could not constantly hold him but put him down occasionally to answer the phone/make myself a sandwich/eat the sandwich/brush my teeth etc. Dealt with some work crap Tried to get a hair appointment booked for the first time in 5 months, involving juggling my temperamental colourist, my hair cutter, my MIL for baby-sitting, and my own timing. Plus the salon reception Heard from a nanny agency that they don't have anyone else to... -
Losing it
19 Oct 2009 | 2:32 amThere are several posts which traditionally show up in the few months after a baby is born. That is if you are a common-or-garden blogger like me, rather than if you are a superstar creative writer like, say, Julie, or Alexa. And even they have been known to write one or two of these. Some experiences are . To my reckoning, those posts are: I have a baby, he/she is the best thing that ever happened to me The baby doesn't sleep, what do I do? Breastfeeding is awful/wonderful/stressful/impossible (delete as appropriate) I'm so utterly sleep deprived I just [insert... -
Pob at two
17 Oct 2009 | 4:05 amThree weeks ago Pob became a two-year old. I'll spare you the "oh my goodness it was only yesterday she was a tiny baby" speech, but it does feel a bit that way. We had a lovely party for her. I had doubted my sanity, inviting people round to a house with a toddler and a non-sleeping baby, but I felt more strongly that we needed to recognise her birthday. And once I started inviting people, it rapidly got to 30 guests, when we included family, gdparents, and my college friends and their children. It went incredibly well, thanks to...
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Uppercase Woman
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Things I'm Confused About
19 Nov 2009 | 1:21 pmThis morning, when I dropped Tori off at school, her teacher told me that Tori was doing "so well!" and that "she really takes direction!" and "when she does projects, she follows direction and does the right colors and stuff, so the corn is yellow at the top and green at the bottom!" Then she said the biggie: "Tori is doing so well and is so good at following direction, we're thinking she might be ready to move up a class."After I processed that she meant the corn looks like this (hey, it was very early in the morning and it took me a bit to know what the hell she meant -- green corn?), I… -
Prayers for Anissa
18 Nov 2009 | 7:52 amI have about a million posts in my head, but I can't write about them. All I can do is think about Anissa.This is what I know about Anissa, and it isn't that much.She is ALIVE. She is one of those people that radiates like the sun when you meet her, and you cannot help but feel more alive and happy yourself when she is near.She let me, a near total stranger, come over to her hotel room at the Type-A Mom Conference to "hang out." Then she rolled her eyes when I told her I wouldn't drink and swore about how much alcohol she'd purchased and how no one was enjoying it. She wrote this post and… -
Warrior Women (and perfectionism, only occasionally related)
16 Nov 2009 | 12:31 pmYesterday I met four other women for lunch. Together we five make up half of a group of women that I met online more than seven years ago; we were all infertile, we all lived in the Philadelphia area, and we all were beaten and exhausted and overwhelmed by the reality of the infertility struggle.We formed a thread/group on the message board of an infertility site, and while many folks drifted in and out of our group over the years, there are a hardcore group of eight of us that have stayed in touch. And as of a few years ago, we all have our children.I've written about this group before, and… -
Just Like Mad Men, if Mad Men Sold Sex Toys
13 Nov 2009 | 6:49 amSo remember when I mentioned that I might have some life-altering news? Well, I do. I really do.I have landed a new client, a big client, and I won't be writing for them. Instead, I'll be working for the Marketing department (run by a gorgeous woman named Victoria, who totally kicks my ass in the funky hair department -- she ROCKS the hot pink, dudes) of Eden Fantasys. Remember them? How at the beginning of the year I did a contest/give away with them in my review blog? Well, I've been in contact with the company off and on every since, and through a series of random events they were looking… -
40 & 41 Months
10 Nov 2009 | 9:03 amMy Darling Tori Anne,I missed last month. I am so sorry. I don't even remember why, but I did, and I'm sorry. Particularly because plenty has happened in the last couple of months! You've grown tremendously. The biggest news? POTTY TRAINING. Between you, Mommy, Daddy, and your new awesome teachers at your school this year, you finally decided that wearing underwear and using the potty were, in fact, for you. It is, in a word, WONDERFUL. Thank you so much. Unfortunately, on October 9th you had your first real medical emergency (although it was a pretty minor one). While playing on some…
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Busted Babymaker
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Muscle Memory
16 Nov 2009 | 9:20 am...must be why I was able to dial the RE's office this morning without even thinking about it or looking up the number. I've certainly called it enough times to remember, but it's been over a year.(No, we're not jumping back in the saddle again!!! Just wanted to make sure they had our correct contact info so they don't toss our frozen embryos. I was getting worried since we haven't received a bill for cryopreservation yet). -
Another Doodle Quilt!
1 Nov 2009 | 6:58 pmEDITED: Hopefully the pics are working now...I wanted to share this beautiful gift we received from blog reader and fellow blogger Kristin: She made this quilt for us out of the clothes my mom had bought us for the Doodles that were never used. I blogged a while back (last time we moved - I swear we don't normally move once a year) that DH had sadly come upon the bag of Doodles' clothes and how sad it made me, and Kristin emailed and generously offered to make us a quilt out of these clothes. The cubes are made up of their onesies, the bibs hang from a ribbon clothesline that came from one of… -
I suck!
29 Oct 2009 | 2:30 pmWith packing, moving, unpacking, et cetera...I had 0ver 200 unread posts in my google reader and with 30+ new ones a day, there's no way I'd ever catch up...so I missed a lot of posts. If there's anything fun or exciting or important about which you posted and I missed it, let me know in comments here so I'm sure to check in! -
In Remembrance
15 Oct 2009 | 5:09 pmWe just lit our candles, and took their picture in front of the Doodle blanket, the only unpacked memento. And the pic was taken with my blackberry since the camera upload cord is also packed. But we lit our candles, and got a picture, and that's what counts.As we watch the candles burn, we'll remember our beautiful Noah and Talia. While today was exciting, finally closing on our new house, it's also bittersweet as we move forward with a life without our Doodles.Also remembering so many others, including (but certainly not limited to - these are just the ones I thought of at first, partly due… -
October 15
14 Oct 2009 | 4:52 pmJust a reminder that tomorrow (October 15) is pregnancy and infant loss awareness day.We're going to try and participate in the wave of light tomorrow (I say try because we have a very busy day as we close on our new house tomorrow and then have to finish packing up). I encourage everyone else to participate too!Thanks to all for remembering our Doodles and all of the other little ones honored by this day.
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The Twinkies
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Uh oh….
16 Nov 2009 | 5:23 pmAn actual conversation: Brian (calling down from upstairs): I think you should rinse your toothbrush out tonight. Me: Um… why? Brian: Because James had to wash out his underwear and while he was doing that your toothbrush fell in the sink. -
Bagel Work
12 Nov 2009 | 7:44 pmJames got into a conflict with another child at school over “bagel work”. As far as I can glean from my child, there were no more bagels so James attempted to take one from another child; the child objected and now James is claiming that child is mean. Fiona is VERY annoyed someone [...] -
The Juice War
9 Nov 2009 | 2:14 pmJames just threw a fit because he wanted juice. Why was this an issue? Because he had already received a smoothie. AND, while I was making the smoothie he asked for a glass of milk. I informed him that he had to drink at least one of the drinks he already [...] -
The illness hits just keep coming
4 Nov 2009 | 3:44 pmJames may have strep. He was exposed at school and now he has a low fever and won’t eat. I’m taking him in for a swab tomorrow. Maybe I can sneak in a flu vax while I’m there. -
Things you don’t want to hear from upstairs…
4 Nov 2009 | 3:38 pmWhy is there pee in the bathtub?
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soulbliss
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a new beginning and a year...
12 Nov 2009 | 3:56 pmThanks so much to everyone for your thoughtful support to the last post.Today....... we began our business.The day started out with everything going wrong before Lu could even leave in the truck. I spent the day going back and forth to her and we sold very little. But it is all expected and it will get better and I am so glad we have finally begun.Once we get the flow and things pick up we will hopefully then be able to have the truck painted to look like a lunchbox. For now it is just painted all fresh white. Our name is taped in the upper side window and we look pretty plain. But all that… -
to the queen of misery...
10 Nov 2009 | 4:51 pmThat is your comment to my love letter to my daughter?Seriously?I feel so sad for you that you see life that twisted.So I shall answer your questions.1. My son is 6, a beautiful, perfect, young six and he wears what he wants. Underwear often and naked often. He is 6!?! I wear whatever, mostly sari's or sweats or nothing if I am so inclined. We are not nudists if that is what you wondered. We are normal people who have no issues with or without clothing like most people we know. My daughter does not go naked so often because she is a baby and it is not hot here but she is put in sunshine naked… -
my soul (6 mos)...
4 Nov 2009 | 2:30 pmMy daughter.My Soul.My soul.She is 6 months today and time is so unfair how it flies by with your children.She is crawling for the past week or two, and she is talking up a dang storm.But this post is about something else. This is a love letter.To compare my feelings to relationships, for that is what we have, my children and I, relationships. With Bliss it was like an intense one night stand that turned out to be the best choice ever made. He was very planned but happened so easily and all was so intense from the moment he arrived.With Soul it was like a long slow courtship with all the… -
more halloween week...
3 Nov 2009 | 7:30 pmI forgot to post these. -
happy halloween/samhain
1 Nov 2009 | 4:38 pmThings are still crazy. I am late with this post partly because of that and mostly because of the damn dial up. Soon they tell me but it cannot be soon enough. I have soooo many posts I want to write and post but it just takes so long and lately any time spent online is with business stuff.After fun decorating at home we started our week of celebrations with a visit to a corn maze. Another day a nearby tiny mall had a "witches brew" where local businesses gave out treats which was lots of fun. Halloween day began with a small party at a nearby town hall with some friends.And lastly, in our…
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Mrs. Spit . . . Still Spouting Off
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My Mother's Rules
20 Nov 2009 | 6:00 amI have long maintained that no one needs to know Pythagorean Theorem. I was *that* kid, in the back of the class, who put up her hand, and lazily asked the teacher not why we needed to learn this crap, but asked exactly when he had used it in his own life. Generally speaking, it makes sense to memorize things you are going to use. Thus, I will always remember things like 2.2 KM to a Mile and the -
The Undiscovered Country
19 Nov 2009 | 6:00 amIn less than a month, Gabriel will have been dead for 2 years. He will have been gone for 4 times as long as he was ever here. And I am pondering how I feel about this. How I feel about him, about me, about this life I am living.I met a woman on Saturday, and we were talking about prostitution, and I made a comment about teaching our sons that women were not for sale. I wasn't talking about my -
Fiona
18 Nov 2009 | 6:00 amI find that it is helpful to set very low expectations for myself, when it comes to any sort of physical exercise. I find that I should take my expectations, and then I should reduce them, and reduce them still. When asked what I hoped to get out of this running business, I answered that I wanted not to die. Oh, no, don't misunderstand, I didn't want to live longer, I wanted not to die. While -
The Things We Left Behind
17 Nov 2009 | 6:00 amthe hell with the fee for service agreement I should be vetting andthe course notes for a seed starting workshop. The New Blue Rodeo Album, and a new bottle of Maker's Mark.To quote the song . . .Summer makes me restlessAnd I can’t get by aloneI know that’s you that’s callingBut I don’t pick up the phoneThe day you started wanderingI guess I lost my faithI sit here now to wait and seeWhat’s -
Monday Miscellany
16 Nov 2009 | 6:00 amThis carefully written blog is not brought to you by Mrs. Spit. Rather, it is brought to you by the delight of the season, the return of Top Gear.Because BBC is so much more sensibly funded than CBC, and because through the wonders of the internets, and Mr. Spit's delightful skill at stealing television programming off the back of the internet, I get to watch Top Gear, even though I am not
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Our Own Creation
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Mmmm, turkey!
19 Nov 2009 | 3:44 pmJust a quick note as I stop to catch my breath in the frenzy to wish all my American friends a very happy Thanksgiving! Wait, wait. I know I’m a week early, but the Our Own Creation crew is setting off on a 20 hour drive on Sunday so we can spend a few days [...] -
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons
9 Nov 2009 | 12:08 pmFour years of blogging. Huh. Imagine that. I feel like I should write something more meaningful today. Instead, as a tribute to the utterly clueless college students in starbucks last night who alternately entertained and pissed me off, I’m just going to share a lovely bit of poetry. It’s well [...] -
Ask Allison
5 Nov 2009 | 2:54 pmSometimes the search terms that bring people to this blog just seem to demand a response of some sort. And since I have nothing else to write about these days…. Oh, and the usual disclaimer. I AM NOT A DOCTOR!!! I’m just someone who has been going through infertility treatment for four years [...] -
National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day
15 Oct 2009 | 7:15 amPlease take a moment to remember the little ones who aren’t here and the families who deal every day with the loss. Whether a pregnancy lasted only days or went to full term, whether a baby was stillborn, never made it out of the NICU or went home for a time, chances are [...] -
hurdles
13 Oct 2009 | 8:35 amSo, I had almost enough frequent flier miles to get a free ticket. It cost less to buy additional miles than it would have to purchase the ticket outright. Then, I found out there’s an “Animal Fibers Fair” in Asheville and I’ve really wanted to find some nice wool to do some fancier [...]
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Bloorb
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41 Weeks
20 Nov 2009 | 8:15 amYes, I have hit the 41 week mark, and yes, I'm now going a tad bit crazy. The "crazy" though, really comes from all these phone calls, emails, texts, and even facebook comments - NOT from still being pregnant. Which I'll admit, surprises even ME (that I'm not freaking, "get him OUT"), because I know myself well, and I know I'm not the most PATIENT person in the world. Yet somehow, I'm still -
Nothing to See Here Folks
18 Nov 2009 | 3:36 pmJust a quickie to say the doc confirmed that no, I probably will NOT have this kid this week. I'm still totally closed up, and Tiny B is at -2 (apparently they go -3, -2, -1, to 0, and 0 is "go").Oddly, at 40w5d I'm back to measuring at 37weeks, but meh, last night the kid was moving up a STORM, and today the doc said all is TICKETY-BOO. So if he's happy baking, I'm happy waiting. While yea, I'm -
How Pregnancy Changes Breakfast
18 Nov 2009 | 7:17 am[him] "Would you just tell me the bloody name of the books?"[me] "No, I'm busy eating, and if I take the time to tell you, my food will get cold."[him] "You DO know that in the time it took you to tell me that, you could've just told me the names right?"[me] "No, it would've taken longer than that. Because up until now when I decided to stop sharing, this conversation had been pretty one-sided, -
Kicking & Screaming
16 Nov 2009 | 1:27 pmOne of the things I always told myself about this blog is that I'd never put "too much information" out there, because while yes, this blog is primarily an outlet for me, it's also out there for ANYONE to find. Which means there's certain phrases I was never going to use, and certain details I was never going to share. MOST of those phrases and details... well, they revolved around either -
The Egg That Wasn't
15 Nov 2009 | 10:00 amIf you're going to be a parent (or you know someone who is), and think those Keen Distribution Grobag Eggs are cool, you should check out the latest review on All Thumbs.
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INFERTILITY NEWS - Google News
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Discovery Boosts Boys' Prospects for Post-Cancer Fertility - U.S. News & World Report
20 Nov 2009 | 11:05 amDiscovery Boosts Boys' Prospects for Post-Cancer FertilityU.S. News & World ReportChemotherapy, in particular, can cause infertility in boys. Van Pelt, a fertility researcher at the University of Amsterdam, and colleagues took stem cells and more » -
Merck Receives CHMP Positive Opinion for New Fertility Treatment, ELONVA(R) - PR Newswire (press release)
20 Nov 2009 | 5:08 amMerck Receives CHMP Positive Opinion for New Fertility Treatment, ELONVA(R)PR Newswire (press release)Infertility is a disease or condition that impairs the body's ability to perform the basic function of reproduction.(2) It is often diagnosed after a couple and more » -
All infertile couples must get free IVF, says doctor - This is London
20 Nov 2009 | 2:41 amAll infertile couples must get free IVF, says doctorThis is LondonSam Abdalla, medical director of the Lister Fertility Clinic, said it was "scandalous" that infertile couples are being denied state-funded help. -
IVF Florida Announces New Patient Finance Solution for Fertility Treatments - PR Newswire (press release)
19 Nov 2009 | 5:50 pmIVF Florida Announces New Patient Finance Solution for Fertility TreatmentsPR Newswire (press release)"Many infertility patients drop out of treatment too early due to financial concerns. Programs like our Attain(TM) IVF Refund and Multi-Cycle Discount and more » -
Proposed Restrictions on Reproductive Rights Threaten Economic Growth - Huffington Post (blog)
19 Nov 2009 | 3:15 pmProposed Restrictions on Reproductive Rights Threaten Economic GrowthHuffington Post (blog) other restrictions on reproductive rights could have a significant impact on a billion-dollar contributor to the US economy -- the infertility industry.
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Baby or Bust
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The Baby Moved!
19 Nov 2009 | 9:26 amOr I’m going to pretend that it did. The movement was so sudden, fleeting and slight that I thought maybe it was just gas. But then, I don’t get gas in that spot, so maybe it was. Maybe it wasn’t. That was Monday. I was trying my darndest to go to sleep, with Shelton snoring next to me of course. And there it was. As my mom likes to day, just a little flutter. I told Shelton the next morning and his response was “Yeah! Play time!” It’s been quiet since then. For some God forsaken reason I jumped up wide awake at 6a.m. (8 or 8:30 are my norm ... I am NOT a… -
I’m Pregnant and HOT!
16 Nov 2009 | 6:03 pmIf you’ve followed BabyOrBust for any length of time, you know that I’ve tried to find the silver lining in the infertility and IVF. And if you’re just joining us then FYI, this is my philosophy! I just never found the value in being bitter, angry, depressed and sad about the situation. Nothing I could do about it, so I made it work for me. I like to think this positive attitude is what helped us survive with our marriage not only in tact, but stronger, and our sanity as shaky as it was to start! So one of those silver lining items was that we basically got to pick when we… -
Pregnancy Week 16
14 Nov 2009 | 11:05 pmDo I really have to relive this week? Let me just tell you it’s been awful and I’m saying good riddance and hoping for the best as we take on week 17. As expressed here, the crampy leg saga pretty much consumed my week. It made for very sleepless, painful, uncomfortable nights, and that made for long, sleepy days. By Thursday of this past week I’d had enough and finally called the doctor. Turns out, I’m very dehydrated. I feel stupid, because this is something you do to yourself. I admitted to Shelton that I can easily go an entire day without taking a drink of… -
The Saga of the Crampy Legs
12 Nov 2009 | 7:07 pmLast Thursday I had what we’ll call The Worst Night of Sleep of My Entire Life. Shelton didn’t sleep a wink that night either because I was so restless. In fact, I probably disturbed the entire cul-de-sac. I had charlie horses, heartburn, muscle cramps, couldn’t find a comfortable position, tossed this way, tossed that way, nightmares… you name it. It was miserable. I chalked it up to the fact that we’d finished a big Mexican meal at 9:00pm, and then went to bed at 10:00. A huge no-no under any circumstances. But when Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights played out… -
My Two-Year-Old Eats Octopus
10 Nov 2009 | 8:50 pmHopefully this is one of the bumper stickers we can hang on our refrigerator (because even if our kid becomes an astronaut Shelton will not allow for the placement of stickers on our cars!): My Two-Year-Old Eats Octopus, and Yours Eats Chicken Nuggets. Growing up I was a painfully picky eater. And to be fair, “growing up” can best be defined by the last 28 years of my life. My palate has the depth of a teaspoon. I blame this, and mom DO NOT take any offense to this, on my parents. My exposure to food was pretty limited. We had Pizza Hut on speed dial, were on a first name basis…
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BagMomma
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Demons
19 Nov 2009 | 4:35 amDemons. They do exist. Maybe not the horror-movie kind, but certainly the emotional kind. I had thought of not posting this. I thought about the eyes that could read this today, tomorrow, someday... and say, "why is this any of her business when she doesn't know the whole story?" ...but I need to say it. A dear member of my extended family ended his life. On purpose. He was my Dad's best friend. My Mom's friend. My Mom's best friend's husband. He was a Dad. He was a Grandfather. He would have been the first person I would call if something happened to my own Dad. He was present for every… -
Gratitude
16 Nov 2009 | 8:01 amI have a lot to say, but just don't have the energy to put it into words right now. That day is coming soon though... just not today. Don't worry, I'm not abandoning my blog. Just waiting for the inspiration to move me. I am writing today to offer up a heartfelt "thank you" to my brother and sister-in-law. Yesterday was a special day for our families. My brand new niece was baptized yesterday, and S. and I were the Godparents. You might be thinking that it was a bittersweet day for S. and I under the circumstances, but you couldn't be more wrong. It was, in… -
Cue Monster
6 Nov 2009 | 12:02 pmThe post I didn't want to write. I don't know where to go from here. You see, there's comfort in having a plan. Even if it's the best or worst plan in the world, HAVING a plan gives you something to hold on to when you are trying to keep your head above water. A point of reference, a direction. A lighthouse on a foggy shore. This is the first time in my life I don't have a plan. I mean, wasn't donor eggs SUPPOSED to be the magic bullet? It sure has been for practically everyone else I know. You would think, in life, that if you are willing to walk the longest and thinnest… -
The last chapter...
3 Nov 2009 | 8:42 amFor the inquiring minds: I tested this morning. I stared back at nothing. Not even a whisper of a line. Please, do not tell me it's too early. It's not. So this is what it feels like to really fail at something. To exhaust every path, to endure every last available technology. To pump myself full of chemicals that have god knows what affect down the road. Almost five years of misery. Five years of loss. Five years of chasing a dream only to come up empty. Empty in mind, body, spirit, and finances. No next step. No back up plan to the back up plan. Just sadness, regret, and… -
A swine Halloween
2 Nov 2009 | 5:03 amSwine flu or no swine flu, we managed to have Halloween here at the BagMomma house after all. It's been a long week, and I am not lying when I tell you I had almost forgotten I had my FET last Tuesday. David being sick was all the diversion I needed. Thankfully, the boy started feeling better at the end of the week, and was awake enough to put on his Halloween costume and venture out for a little while with Daddy while I stayed behind to give out candy. He even stayed in costume when it got dark, and attempted to scare trick-or-treaters by standing still as a statue under the maple tree. Now…
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The Stork Lawyer®
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Feeling Overwhelmed and the Wonder of Autumn
6 Nov 2009 | 7:39 amI’ve had a lot going on recently — between travelling for work, representing clients, and getting ready to launch an egg donation agency my plate is pretty full — on top of which I have family issues and a back that doesn’t really want to let me stand up straight (a metaphor for my life if ever there was one). I was talking to my coach about how overwhelmed I feel and how does a business owner, lawyer, any professional person in general deal with that. I also feel that a recent visit to Dr. Chung to address my own reproductive issues brought up a lot of memories… -
Registration Issues: Registered Users Please Read!
6 Nov 2009 | 7:11 amHey everyone, while I was away, Kristen and Emily were hard at work trying to figure out why we have all these registered users who cannot seem to be able to post. We had a worm on the site awhile ago and it seems the damage the worm did went a little deeper than we realized. Anyone who has previously registered to be a user on this blog needs to register again. As of today, we have only 4 registered users, down from over a hundred. Please, please, please, take a minute and register again. I am so sorry for the inconvenience. But some mean person corrupted my blog. Once you… -
Resurfacing from all my travels and I have some news!
6 Nov 2009 | 6:54 amI have been off the blog travelling to various meetings for reproductive professionals, including ASRM and moderating a panel for the American Bar Association’s A.R.T. Committee addressing insurance issues in gestational carrier arrangements. I learned tons (for other posts) but came home exhausted and overwhelmed and of course the office was happily insane with new business. Of course the travelling and stress of long hours, on and off planes, in and out of cars, running through (or trying to walk through) convention centers, and tons of work meant my back went out . . . and I… -
I think I need to call Oprah, Suze Orman, and HGTV.
2 Oct 2009 | 6:42 amLast night, after days of trying to unravel what appeared to be a case of identity fraud (one of the things that I think must truly be horrific to live through, putting your life back together after someone has stolen your credit-UGH) I discovered that a person at Citi Cards had made my pay-by-phone payment twice. This was not a small payment. I was paying the card balance off in full. This was a day of celebration. This was a day when my husband and I were to begin life anew. We were finally digging out from years of debt related to our infertility, adoptions, unemployment, and me… -
Adoption Scam in NY
28 Sep 2009 | 7:31 amFrom Today’s New York Law Journal Lawyer Accused of Stealing In Adoption Scheme A Roslyn lawyer already under investigation in connection with real estate fraud was arrested Friday and charged with stealing thousands of dollars from prospective adoptive parents. Nassau District Attorney Kathleen M. Rice said in a statement that Kevin Cohen, 41, promised couples “babies that didn’t exist” and pocketed the money while telling them the funds were in escrow accounts while the adoptions were pending. One couple paid Mr. Cohen $65,000 after he falsely claimed to have located…
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Quips & Tips for Couples Coping With Infertility
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6 Good Books About Infertility and Getting Pregnant
20 Nov 2009 | 7:53 amWe haven’t been able to get pregnant for three years, and thus I’ve been reading tons of books about infertility, getting pregnant, fertility clinics, and assisted reproduction! Here are a few of my favorites – starting with the most recent book I’ve read about getting pregnant. “Most women ask themselves at one time or another what it means to [...] -
Infertility Over the Holidays – How to Enjoy Christmas and Thanksgiving
18 Nov 2009 | 2:28 pmThe holiday season isn’t happy or fun for many couples coping with infertility or women who can’t get pregnant. These suggestions for enjoying Christmas and Thanksgiving — not just surviving the holiday season — may help infertile men and women cope. “Isn’t it funny that at Christmas something in you gets so lonely for – I don’t know what exactly, [...] -
Can Multivitamins Help You Get Pregnant? How Vitamins Affect Fertility
12 Nov 2009 | 8:34 amTaking vitamins (especially multivitamins) can enhance ovulation, help you get pregnant, and affect fertility rates. I didn’t realize how important multivitamins are for women trying to get pregnant until I read The Fertility Diet! “Does taking a daily multivitamin prevent disease or help you live longer?” ask in Jorge Chavarro and Walter Willett in The Fertility [...] -
How to Reduce Stress During Infertility Treatments – IVF Success Tips
10 Nov 2009 | 3:39 pmIn vitro fertilization (IVF) isn’t the easiest way to get pregnant, but it may be your only chance! Here are a few ways to reduce stress during infertility treatments, which may decrease anxiety and help you get pregnant successfully. “There is ample evidence that lower stress levels mean better female and male natural fertility, though there [...] -
How Endometriosis Affects Pregnancy After Infertility Treatments
5 Nov 2009 | 2:32 pmWomen who have endometriosis who get pregnant through infertility treatments have a higher risk of pregnancy complications, and are more likely to have a Caesarean section. This study analyzes the connection between endometriosis, pregnancy, and assisted reproduction. However, the lead author says that women who have infertility treatments aren’t any more likely to have problems in [...]
