Because I know some of you have been waiting for this (I’m assuming you care because you’ve asked about it. Though perhaps you were just being polite?), this is the post that contains the yearly Purim basket giveaway. But first, you need to read my blatherings about snow. Sorry about that. Snow has become my [...]
Infertility
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Stirrup Queens
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There, But For the Grace of G-d, Go I: Dispatches from Snowmageddon Part Four (Giveaway Edition)
9 Feb 2010 | 6:10 am -
Here Comes the Sun: Dispatches from Snowmageddon Part Three
8 Feb 2010 | 7:01 amSaturday night ended in the dark, with just the sound of shovels. Sunday was a lighter day. The sun was shining off the enormous mounds of snow. After breakfast, we bundled up the twins and stepped outside in our snow gear. Our current snow gear is sort of cobbled together from various sources as opposed [...] -
White Out: Dispatches from Snowmageddon Part Two
6 Feb 2010 | 6:23 pmIt was a day of big conversations. This morning, we needed to explain to the twins that even trees die, pushing out their tight boundaries surrounding death a little further (up until this morning, the only ways one could die were old age, not eating, or getting hit by a car because you ran into the [...] -
A Hard Snow’s a-Gonna Fall: Dispatches from Snowmageddon Part One (the Prequel)
5 Feb 2010 | 5:41 pmSnowpocalypse 2010, for us, started with a naked Yoda. ******* Actually, it started with the first few flakes blinking through the sky as I picked the twins up at school. I had dropped them off with the reminder that if the snow started falling in earnest before school was over, I was going to come to school [...] -
274th Friday Blog Roundup
5 Feb 2010 | 4:47 amSnowmageddon is happening at some point today, 24 inches of snow dumped on the greater DC area. I could not be more excited to be stuck inside our house. I gleefully stocked up on movies and books from the library, purchased art supplies from the craft store, and braved a two-hour visit to the food [...]
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Wishing4One
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3 blasts baby
9 Feb 2010 | 1:28 amWe transferred 3 blastocysts yesterday, yeah three. Super S was like "what if we have 3, that would be so cool.." I just smiled, he is too cute. I am hoping for at least one first. So they were three Grade 1 blastocysts that were transferred. The lab vitrified a total of 6 embryos. Not all blasts, but 3 are. I misunderstood Dr. K when I thought he said all were blastocysts. I have the detailed report now and photos of all of our embryos. Transfer went well. I held onto my Grandmothers prayer beads during transfer and it felt so right. We watch the whole thing on the… -
Nine: The countdown begins
6 Feb 2010 | 5:42 amToday is Day 3 for our embryos. Dr. K said as of 11am this morning we had 5 grade 1 and 4 grade 2 embryos. (Our center uses a grading scale with 1 being the best and so on.) So out of the 10 ovum we got 9 embryos, not bad huh? They will culture all to blastocyst and we plan to transfer two on Monday, with me calling in first and if anything changes of course he will call us. If more than two make it to blast, (and they will, they will, they will) we will freeze those. I will also do another IViG infusion on Monday as well. So this is it, grow babies grow for mama. Thank you all… -
Clexane... the devil?
5 Feb 2010 | 8:32 amThis is the first time I am taking Clexane (a.k.a. Lovenox, Heparin) injections with an IVF cycle. I took the second one today and man do they leave bruises or what??? All the other subcutaneous injections I have taken did not bruise like this. Is this normal? I did not Goo.gle it cause I know alot of you have taken these, so tell me does it get any better? Please say it does. I ice my tummy before so it feels fine going in and then later the place is bruised and sore. I can bear it but wanted to see what your experiences were/are. Did I tell you we are so addicted to American Idol… -
2 short of a dozen
3 Feb 2010 | 9:53 amThey retrieved 10 ovum today. So now we wait to see how many little blasties will grow. I will call the center Saturday to check on the progress. We are shooting for a 5 day transfer, so maybe Monday. Funny thing happened. When super nice Nurse girl came to get me to go to surgery room, she took me to alittle room adjacent to surgery room. (This always happens before I enter the surgery room, i wait in this little room). So when i walked in today, I sat on the bed, turn around and theres a little baby under the blankets sleeping! Shes in a red jumper, sound asleep with her… -
Basketballs and books
2 Feb 2010 | 5:18 amI'm all triggered and ready for egg excavation retrieval tomorrow morning. This time around I feel like I am carrying 8 basketballs across my abdomen, like my ovaries are competing in the olympics and taking home the Gold for weight lifting. I am eating like a freak too, always hungry. I'll eat dinner for example and feel like I could eat right away again. (Though I do not look like I am carrying twins as nice RN girl thought the other day.) You know when you've been at this for as long as we have, you get it. Well sometimes, ok not always. Ok not ever really, but you are…
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ScienceDaily: Fertility News
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How sperm get a move on; discovery suggests new target for male contraception
5 Feb 2010 | 2:00 pmMost of us probably think of sperm as rather active little cells, swimming with quick movements of their "tail" or flagella. But actually sperm's motility is in fact short lived. When in the male reproductive tract they have to rest easy, lest they wear themselves out prematurely and give up any chance of ever finding an egg. -
Molecular regulator that controls ability of sperm to reach and fertilize the egg identified
5 Feb 2010 | 5:00 amResearchers have identified an elusive molecular regulator that controls the ability of human sperm to reach and fertilize the egg, a finding that has implications on both treating male infertility and preventing pregnancy. -
Fat behaves differently in patients with polycistic ovary syndrome
31 Jan 2010 | 9:00 pmFat tissue in women with polycystic ovary syndrome produces an inadequate amount of the hormone that regulates how fats and glucose are processed, promoting increased insulin resistance and inflammation, glucose intolerance and greater risk of diabetes and heart disease, according to a study. -
Reduced fertility linked to flame retardant exposure
28 Jan 2010 | 8:00 amA new study finds that women with higher blood levels of PBDEs, a common type of flame retardant, took longer to get pregnant. The flame retardants are used in foam furniture, electronics, fabrics, carpets, plastics and other common items in the home. -
Fertility drugs contribute heavily to multiple births
24 Jan 2010 | 8:00 amDrugs that stimulate a woman's ovaries to speed the maturity and multiply the production of eggs accounts for four times more live births than assisted reproductive technologies such as in vitro fertilization. These drugs are responsible for 20 percent of multiple births. Multiple birth is a risk factor for preterm birth and infants born too soon face lifelong health problems such as breathing problems, mental retardation, cerebral palsy, vision and hearing loss, and even death.
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Fertility News From Medical News Today
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Autism Risk Higher When Mother Is Older, Study
9 Feb 2010 | 2:00 amResearchers who studied records of all births occurring in California in the 1990s found that the risk of having a child with autism was significantly higher when the mother was older, regardless of the father's age, except when the mother was younger, the risk was also higher if the father were older... -
Biocell Center Furthers Its Commitment To Maternal Fetal Medicine
9 Feb 2010 | 1:00 amBiocell Center announced its further commitment to working with maternal-fetal-medicine doctors by attending the Society for Maternal-Fetal Medicine's (SMFM) annual meeting. "Biocell Center has been working with perinatologists and Ob/Gyn doctors worldwide for several years," said Kate Torchilin, CEO of Biocell Center Corporation... -
What Are Irregular Periods (Oligomenorrhea)? What Causes Irregular Periods?
9 Feb 2010 | 12:00 amOligomenorrhea is a medical term which generally refers to irregular or infrequent menstrual periods with intervals of more than 35 days - however, the duration may vary. A period, or menstruation, is the shedding of the endometrium - the lining of the uterus. Menstruation is also called menses... -
New Study Demonstrates Novel Use Of Metabolic Imaging To Locate Sperm In Infertile Men
7 Feb 2010 | 12:00 amMen with no sperm in their ejaculate-a condition known as azoospermia- may no longer need invasive procedures to determine if they have sperm in their testes according to a new study published in Human Reproduction... -
Sperm Discovery Suggests New Target For Male Contraception
6 Feb 2010 | 12:00 amMost of us probably think of sperm as rather active little cells, swimming with quick movements of their "tail" or flagella. But actually sperm's motility is in fact short lived. When in the male reproductive tract they have to rest easy, lest they wear themselves out prematurely and give up any chance of ever finding an egg...
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Infertility News
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Infertile men are begetting infertile sons
8 Feb 2010 | 7:30 amWe normally give nature short shrift, but IVF could be storing up problems for the future, says Melanie McDonagh. -
IVF fathers could pass infertility on to sons
7 Feb 2010 | 11:25 pmBoys born as a result of IVF could inherit their father's infertility, scientists have warned. -
Infertility a growing problem
7 Feb 2010 | 3:13 pmChildlessness among married couples in India is on the rise. According to a study done by the International Institute for Population Sciences International Institute for Population Sciences , Mumbai, childlessness among Indian couples has risen by 50 per cent in the 20-year period from 1981 to 2001. -
Parental infertility and developmental coordination disorder in children
6 Feb 2010 | 3:50 pmTags Abstract BACKGROUNDIt has previously been reported that children born after infertility treatment had a slight delay in early motor milestones. -
Infertility and stress
6 Feb 2010 | 11:15 amPsychologist Andrea Mechanick Braverman, Ph D tackles the topic of the relationship between stress and infertility in her article, Stress and Infertility.
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Fertility News From Medical News Today
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Autism Risk Higher When Mother Is Older, Study
9 Feb 2010 | 2:00 amResearchers who studied records of all births occurring in California in the 1990s found that the risk of having a child with autism was significantly higher when the mother was older, regardless of the father's age, except when the mother was younger, the risk was also higher if the father were older... -
Biocell Center Furthers Its Commitment To Maternal Fetal Medicine
9 Feb 2010 | 1:00 amBiocell Center announced its further commitment to working with maternal-fetal-medicine doctors by attending the Society for Maternal-Fetal Medicine's (SMFM) annual meeting. "Biocell Center has been working with perinatologists and Ob/Gyn doctors worldwide for several years," said Kate Torchilin, CEO of Biocell Center Corporation... -
What Are Irregular Periods (Oligomenorrhea)? What Causes Irregular Periods?
9 Feb 2010 | 12:00 amOligomenorrhea is a medical term which generally refers to irregular or infrequent menstrual periods with intervals of more than 35 days - however, the duration may vary. A period, or menstruation, is the shedding of the endometrium - the lining of the uterus. Menstruation is also called menses... -
New Study Demonstrates Novel Use Of Metabolic Imaging To Locate Sperm In Infertile Men
7 Feb 2010 | 12:00 amMen with no sperm in their ejaculate-a condition known as azoospermia- may no longer need invasive procedures to determine if they have sperm in their testes according to a new study published in Human Reproduction... -
Sperm Discovery Suggests New Target For Male Contraception
6 Feb 2010 | 12:00 amMost of us probably think of sperm as rather active little cells, swimming with quick movements of their "tail" or flagella. But actually sperm's motility is in fact short lived. When in the male reproductive tract they have to rest easy, lest they wear themselves out prematurely and give up any chance of ever finding an egg...
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Creating Motherhood
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oh my plaid, and other winter woes
9 Feb 2010 | 8:39 amOf course I will be 2nd hand shopping, but oh damn is this cute. (too bad it doesn’t come in my size.) More snow coming later today. Mother is braving the roads now to pick up a few needs at the grocery store. I imagine it will be crazy packed. No way was I going to go! Winter questions for you guys: 1) what is your favorite winter lotion? 2) Please tell me how you strategically unsnow your car. 3) socks or slippers? both? 4) Your favorite crockpot/ slow cooker recipe please. (vegetarian preferred) 5) Adult acne face wash that works in winter?? Does it exist? Anyone else really geeked… -
The Blizzard of 2010 (a few photos)
8 Feb 2010 | 4:03 pmThe actual blizzard- action shot! Saturday night For lack of a better prop Always look up My new favorite thing to photograph -
Sisterhood of the infertility paths
7 Feb 2010 | 12:05 pmAn hour ago I was outside going to town on a bajillion feet of snow. The goal was to make a safe path from the front door of the house to the car. And then I needed to unsnow the car. And then I needed to clear the road behind the car so that we could get it out to the road. Tomorrow Mother has an appointment in town with a rheumatologist and if that office is open then I want to get us there. Except the snow. Wow. Did you hear there was a blizzard? And while I still firmly live in the “love it!” camp when it comes to the stuff (remember, it’s all still a bit new and shiny… -
It’s like rain on your wedding day
4 Feb 2010 | 5:58 pmOr a giant snow storm coming on the day you are planning to reunite with your sister. Don’t get me wrong, I love the snow, and I am totally enjoying this reentry back into a climate with winter, but after soooooooo much anxiety and anticipation and did I mention anxiety???, it kind of sucks to have a snow day cancel such huge plans. We are aiming to get together next weekend. Another week of angst. Today Mother had a doctor’s appointment with the doc that will be her new primary care physician. (good appointment, great doctor) Bonus was that W and I got to drive in with her and… -
Yes, no, hold on, no, yes
2 Feb 2010 | 9:29 amSo there is some pretty big news to report: W has health insurance. Just typing that fills me with so much calm. Massive moment of exhale. Ready for the bonus news? I also now have health insurance! Shocking. I didn’t even apply for coverage but I guess I qualify and well, holy fuck. I have insurance. Now here is where this moment may not translate for some of you. There are some people that have never known what it is like to not have health insurance. They are covered by work or a spouse, they get money taken out of a paycheck, they pay a co-pay, they have some sort of plan in place…
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I'm a Smart One
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RandomBulletsCuzI'm2FarBehind2Write100DiffPosts
4 Feb 2010 | 7:04 pmA grand total of $366 was donated to Erica's Parenthood for Me from the ALI community! I love, love, LOVE that we were able to raise more than enough for a Table Sponsorship at PFM's First Annual Family Building Dinner and Silent Auction. Thanks so, so much to all who've helped! amount of ALI rockitude = 366 x infinity Those of you who donated to my fundraiser for PFM were also entered into a drawing for one of two dozen Big Ones. I'll announce the winners when I post Frank's dancing -in-a dress-and-g-string video (see below for more info!). I'm about a week… -
Conversations ~ A Post in Four Movements
28 Jan 2010 | 8:15 pmBefore the music, a brief Public Service Announcement: Sock It to Me buddies were emailed on Wednesday. If you didn't receive your match, please email me! Now back to your regularly scheduled program:I. Fanfare ~ Ride of the ValKyraKyra: Mommy, there are some boys out there and they keep bothering us. They're especially bothering my friend. But the Boys and I are going to defend her and not let them pick on her. We're going to use your your "Motherhood" skills.Me: Motherhood skills? What, exactly, are those?Kyra: It's what you taught us. Me: Which is...?Kyra:…
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It's Either Sadness or Euphoria
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So much for resolutions
19 Jan 2010 | 7:42 pmHoly cow, I knew it had been awhile since I blogged but I can’t believe it has actually been since Christmas! So much for the idea of trying to write every day!! Ah well, I will keep trying… So, help me here. I need better blog nicknames for the munchkins. I don’t really want to use their real names here. When I was pregnant we called them Thing One and Thing Two until we learned the sexes, then we simply called them by their names. I’ve been calling them by initials, but I need real nicknames here, like the Indian Takeaways, or Little Butterfly, or some such. -
A thought, and a merry Christmas
25 Dec 2009 | 9:08 amLast night I had an epiphany of sorts. After Baby M was in bed, Mike and I were hanging out on Christmas Eve. I called the hospital to find out how Baby A was doing. The nurse, Carmen, said they had been watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” together and that baby had just fallen asleep. It was a good report and I thanked her and rang off. Then, cried a little, because I missed baby so much and wanted her with me, sitting next to our Christmas tree. *I* wanted to watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” with her. And I thought of two and three Christmases ago, when we had… -
Not exactly a comfort
23 Dec 2009 | 4:42 pmBattling infertility, you hear a lot of ignorant comments — the kind that are meant to be helpful but are really nothing of the kind. “Just relax.” “Just adopt.” “You’ll get pregnant if you just adopt.” To the list, I would like to add the comment that really gets my goat as a heart baby momma: “Don’t worry — she’ll never remember any of this.” While technically true, it does not comfort me in the least. In fact, it strikes me as criminally insensitive. Sure, she won’t remember spending months in the hospital… -
CHD and ALI intersect
22 Dec 2009 | 6:27 amFor my readers who are pregnant or hope to become so, here is a short but great article on the 20-week ultrasound. It’s not “the big u/s when we find out the gender!!!!” — it is a whole lot more. At ours, we learned we had two girls, and that one had a serious heart anomaly. We were sent immediately to the fetal cardiologist for further examination. By the end of the day we had a diagnosis, a plan for monitoring the rest of the pregnancy, and a plan for where and how the birth would take place. If these things had not occurred, our heart baby would’ve had an even… -
CHDs — Congenital Heart Defects
21 Dec 2009 | 1:53 pmThe very wise Kami asked for a quick tutorial on the heart problems we are facing, so here is a VERY layman’s description on babygirl’s condition, including some of the medical terms in bold, for those of you who like to google things. It is complicated, but try to hang with me. Her cardiovascular system is severely malformed. This apparently happened just a few days after implantation. No one knows why, but it is thought maybe genetic factors combined with environmental factors. It is not related to her conception (IVF) or her status as a twin. And the other twin is completely…
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The Baby Chase
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Babies Have Returned!
17 Jan 2010 | 8:34 amThanks so much for all your reassurance! I felt better as soon as I wrote my last post. Sometimes just writing about your fears helps take some of the sting out of them.My babies must have read my blog sometime yesterday evening, or maybe they felt that they had given me the silent treatment for long enough. Baby A was checking in with some strong bumps and kicks. And Baby B--well, I don't know what the hell she was doing. I'm thinking she's either going to be a swimmer or a boxer, because either she was practicing her flutter kick or she was working the speed bag. It was just bizarre. But… -
Rediscovering Paranoia: Where the Fuck Are My Babies?
16 Jan 2010 | 5:52 amI am greatly in need of reassurance, because I’ve entered into a new world of terror.For six months all I’ve thought about is my babies dying.(Okay, that’s not ALL I thought about, but it’s been my overarching fear.)Then, for the last few weeks, what with the constant kicking and every week bringing me closer to viability, that fear has eased. Now I have a new fear: my babies coming out damaged in some way.And the little monsters apparently are in on it, because they’ve (almost) completely stopped kicking.Maybe that’s an exaggeration—I can’t really tell, because I wasn’t… -
The 22-Week Sono
13 Jan 2010 | 5:58 pmAs promised, here are the best of the 22-week sono pictures. (Had our 26-week sono last week, but neither baby deigned to look like anything resembling a baby for the photos.)And yes, Baby A is shaking his fist at you. I'm telling you, that kid's gonna be trouble. -
Pregnancy Kills Blogging!
13 Jan 2010 | 6:49 amGod, I thought I was a bad blogger before, but being pregnant is sucking every ounce of spare time and spare energy out of my body, rendering me Worst Blogger Ever. It doesn’t help that I go to bed at 9 every night (often quite panicky about getting to bed before I completely lose my ability to put myself to bed properly), that I’m struggling to perform the bare minimum of my job, and that every spare moment is spent trying to complete my baby registry or plan what classes we’re going to take or appease all of the family that’s come out of the woodwork lately and wants to be a big… -
An Overheard Moment
7 Dec 2009 | 10:00 amOn Saturday night, as I was heading back into the living room where our friends were hanging out with my man J, I heard this conversation:J's best friend (and current father of a 1-year old): Yeah, pregnancy can be pretty nervewracking.J: You're telling me. If you had any idea the thoughts that go through my head every time I see [Babychaser's] name come up on the caller ID. . . .I caught myself blinking back tears. J's awesome, and hilarious, and sarcastic, and I adore him. But he doesn't often talk about how he's feeling, and sometimes it's hard to have a serious conversation with him about…
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Plain Jane Mom
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I am middle aged, apparently.
30 Jan 2010 | 9:38 pmInteresting. -
See, this is why I needed a brother…
7 Dec 2009 | 5:04 pmThe other day I heard Henry in the other room giving Charlie a lesson in how to fart silently so his classmates wouldn’t hear. I almost ruptured my spleen trying not to laugh, but frankly it is good, practical advice which will serve him well next year in Kindergarten. Possibly I should warn his teacher in advance… -
Awww.
28 Aug 2009 | 9:09 pmCharlie (4.5) and I were alone tonight way past bedtime waiting for Craig to bring big brothers Ed and Henry home from a movie party. I asked Charlie if he missed his brothers, and he said “Yeah.” Me: “I don’t have any brothers. What’s it like?” Charlie: [Pause.] “It’s like… being really happy.” Me: “What else is it like?” Charlie: “That’s it. Just happy.” -
AYSO is hard core
11 Aug 2009 | 7:53 pmThis year Craig signed up to coach Ed’s soccer team. Previously he’s been assistant coach, but this year they were short on volunteers. So part of his “training” is doing an online course in safety and procedures and such. And generally the training is reasonable and helpful and pretty much what you’d expect. Except when you get to this instructions for what to do… well, I’m not sure when you’d need to use a tourniquet at a 7 year old’s soccer game, but just in case, now we know. Step Four: Tourniquet should be used if the other methods… -
Dear Mom: please don’t murder me
27 Jul 2009 | 5:28 pmI’m a big believer in letting kids look like what they want to look like. I only pick out their outfits when we’re going someplace fancy, and they get to choose what haircut they want. So when my older two boys wanted REALLY short hair, of course the 4 year old had to have it too. Don’t kill me, Mom :) They love their new hair!
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Stefanie Wilder Taylor
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Due to Inflation, A Picture is Now Worth 1500 Words
8 Feb 2010 | 1:02 pmSome of you, and I won’t mention any names -mainly because I can’t remember what I ate for breakfast fifteen minutes ago, let alone who’s commented on my blog -have asked for a Sadie update. If a Sadie update is what you want then a Sadie update is what you shall have. My little peanut, my Sadie is still teeny tiny. It’s been a long road and the end is not yet in sight but there have been improvements. Right now, there is still no good, solid, reasonable explanation as to why she won’t put on weight. Her nutritionist is concerned because with the amount she eats,… -
Don’t Get Drunk Fridays: Kym’s Story
5 Feb 2010 | 8:39 amNote from Stef: Something I have heard over and over in sobriety is that you can’t get stop drinking for someone else. Sobriety has to be something you do for yourself or it will never work. Well, I have to call bullshit on that. There were quite a few times in the first few months I wasn’t drinking that I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t that bad. I wasn’t hurting anyone but myself so why was I being so hard on myself and quitting drinking all together? I mean, that’s so drastic right? But then I would look at my babies -in fact, I took photographs of them… -
The Oscars Can Suck It
2 Feb 2010 | 2:54 pmSome of you may consider me a deeply flawed individual and some of you may think I’m just impossible to please but I will remain hopeful that someone out there is on my side on this one. So the Oscars are quickly approaching and I could not be any less enthused considering I have either hated or not seen most of the offerings this year. Look, I know I’m not the Duggars and I don’t actually nineteen children but having twins and an older child puts me in a special catagory of people who CAN’T GO SEE A GODDAMN MOVIE. Can my husband and I go out to the occasional dinner? -
Don’t Get Drunk Fridays:
29 Jan 2010 | 11:09 amNote from Stef: About nine days ago, I received this letter from a blogger. I was moved by her honesty and eloquence and wanted very much to be able to post her words. I felt that where she was in her struggle would help more people than she could ever know. So I asked her. And she said yes. And, guess what, there is more to her story, but we’ll begin here: “I have suspected (waaaay in the back of my mind) that I need to quit drinking for a very, very long time. Years. But I never told anyone because I didn’t want to be held accountable. I didn’t want the pressure of… -
Don’t Get Drunk Fridays: Ellie’s Story
22 Jan 2010 | 8:05 amToday’s post is from Ellie. She blogs, she writes, she makes jewelry which she also sells on her blog (I really like that ring, Ellie – just sayin’). She has been a voice of sanity and reason over on our message board. Also, today I have been sober for 8 months. Now…heeeere’s Ellie “I’m a Good Girl. I don’t mean I’m prudish, or square; I just like to do the right thing. I like people to be happy with me. If you’re happy, I’m happy … that is how I always felt. From an early age, I could figure out who you wanted me to be,…
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BigP and Me
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-Witty title to go here-
8 Feb 2010 | 6:04 amI started spotting yesterday but my cheery inner voice told me it could be super late implantation spotting, right?!When I was up at three this morning the TP didn't lie.You know me, I still got up and peed on something. When I wiped there was no reason to look at the stick. Flo is here.I'm sad. Disappointed.My mind tells me that "normal" people take several cycles to get pregnant when everything is in working order so there was no guarantee for us. Just because we got everything to work like it should.My heart didn't get that memo. It worked the first time last time. It is fail-proof. It… -
Let the peeing begin!
5 Feb 2010 | 9:46 amNearlydawn scared me when she told me expired sticks can give false positives...so I sadly threw out the two I had sitting in my bathroom.BigP was out and about town last night so I had him pick me up some. I told him to buy ten at the dollar store but instead he went to Kroger and paid ten dollars for two...This morning the test was negative. I'm trying to convince myself to save the other stick for Monday morning (two weeks since IUI) especially since it is the only one I have left in the house.I do like to pee on things though... -
We have no secrets
2 Feb 2010 | 7:16 pmWhen we were going through treatments before, we were an open book. I was working and it was just easier to let my boss know what was going on so I could get the time off I needed. Many times I ended up doing injections at work so people saw me and I just found it easier to be open with everyone. Except every time it didn't work. It sucked to repeat over and over that I had gotten my period or a negative pee stick. I dreaded the calls from family who knew I would be peeing on sticks like a maniac.This time, I was determined to not tell anyone. I wanted to be able to surprise everyone when/if… -
IUI Yesterday
26 Jan 2010 | 11:09 amI almost titled this post IUI #1 for #2 - but decided that numbering this IUI is like saying I'm expecting there to be more than just this one. I'm not in denial that it may take more than one but I'm also full of Hope. I'm not going to sink into the black pit that I sank into when we were trying to conceive Katherine. Not yet anyways. It was the worst IUI ever. (Please don't let me jinx myself here if we do have more IUIs in the future!!)This may be TMI...The Dr tried to get the catheter in a few times. No go.I waddled half naked down the hall into one of the ultrasound rooms. They tilted… -
Huge Egg
23 Jan 2010 | 11:00 amWell, the biggest I've ever had. Just one, on my left ovary.26 X 19My LH hasn't gone up yet so I do my ovidrel shot tonight at eight and we will do the insemination on Monday.I realized today that I've not considered the possibility of this not working. It will work. Cause we did things the exact same way (drug-wise) that we did when we conceived Katherine...OH, please let it work.
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Chasing A Child
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Debating "openness" with myself
27 Jan 2010 | 8:21 pmI'm going to take a little side journey from my new obsession with donor embryos to respond to a prompt from the Open Adoption Roundtable. It's been tricky responding to these lately, as my free time has been incredibly rare, and some of the topics have not been applicable to our particular open adoption situation. This week's prompt speaks directly to something I've been wanting to blog about recently -- it poses the question of how to handle a dispute about the appropriate level of openness when the dispute is between people on the same side of the adoption triad -- for… -
Exploring boundaries
24 Jan 2010 | 11:40 amI know my idea about attempting pregnancy with a donated embryo of another race is unusual and challenging. I also know that it may not be the direction we go. But I'm sort of fascinated by all the taboos the idea raises. While I'm a pretty rabid rule-follower personally and professionally, when it comes to philosophy and morals, I like to push the boundaries as far as they can go. How far that carries over into real life varies by the situation. I've spent a lot of time reading infertility and adoption blogs in the past 4 years. Taboo issues come up time and time again ... here… -
Am I Crazy?
23 Jan 2010 | 12:56 pmI'm seriously thinking about embryo adoption. Adopting an embryo, of course, is a bit of a legal misnomer, since, for the most part, embryos aren't recognized as "people" under the law. So how can you adopt a non-person? As a lawyer, I recognize that if embryos are something you can adopt, then it could be a slippery slope to a time where fertility specialists are not allowed to dispose of extra embryos (for science or otherwise), even if the people who were responsible for creating the embryos (i.e., the embryos' genetic parents) specifically want the embryos to… -
Breathing
14 Jan 2010 | 8:20 pmHaiti. The photos of the devastation are triggering my PTSD, both as someone who's still mourning the loss of a yet-to-be-child and as someone who worked way too close to Ground Zero. Crumbled buildings and hurt children -- not the best combination for me. And there's something about being the mother of a brown child ... I look at the distraught faces in the news reports, and they aren't the face of Other People anymore. Their features are too close to the features of the child I love. They're family in the sense that we're all members of the human family and this tragedy… -
One year.
1 Jan 2010 | 8:04 pm"Help!" was the cry from upstairs a few minutes ago.The Mister's plea was not unexpected. I'd heard a brief ruckus, which I assumed was Squeaker puking on him during the bedtime process. Sure enough, formula puke everywhere. Could've been worse -- could've been minestrone soup, like yesterday in the car. I nearly lost my own lunch over that one.Our little guy has been sick the past 2 days -- high fever, sniffles, massive clinginess and whining, occasional puking. The nurse at our pediatrician's office said there's a lot of that going around. Kids here either…
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Child Bearing Hips
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Definitely Reflux
3 Feb 2010 | 7:27 amSo. Since Maggie had throw up the priolsec 3 nights in a row, and I was SO sure that she didn't have reflux.... I decided to stop the medicine. The doc had recommended we try that anyway, as you don't want her on meds for no reason. Well, after day four of no medicine, she was frantic. I was still kind of in denial, but my girlfriend from down the street came over one morning, and was helping me get Hulk ready for school. Her daughter had AWFUL reflux,so she had done a lot of research and lived through it. She volunteered to change Maggie while I was feeding Hulk breakfast, and I guess all… -
He's a toddler
29 Jan 2010 | 6:05 amI know that he's pretty much been a toddler for a while now, but at daycare, Hulk is spending more and more time in the toddler room, and he LOVES it. In our state, the age for toddler is officially 15 months - and he won't be there until March 5th. But since he is walking and playing with all the toddler stuff, my daycare lets him go into the toddler room as much as they can. It's all based around child to teacher ratios - infants are 3:1 and toddlers are 5:1. When he first started going over it was like a super fun and different day - and he'd be SO tired by the end of the day. Now - we get… -
2 month checkup
27 Jan 2010 | 11:59 amWell, my little girl got her 2 month checkup today. I was more than happy to be going to the doc, as she threw up 3 times last night. I wasn't surprised that she caught the bug we've all had - but I was hoping that she'd be spared. Aaron and I were vigilant with the hand washing - but Hulk is always coming over and touching Maggie's face and hands so I guess it was inevitable. Anyway, she, as always, did a good job freaking me out. She throws up almost silently, so I was up watching her to be sure she didn't choke on the vomit.Damn, I'm in a good place.When Hulk was sick at this age, I didn't… -
Blech!
25 Jan 2010 | 6:39 amAt almost this exact same time last year, I was dealing with baby and Cece illness. Same story, different year. Saturday I felt SO nauseous. Gross. I never threw up or anything, but my stomach kept tightening up and cramping all night... and throughout the day on Sunday. Fun fun. Poor Aaron was up with the kids all night on Saturday too, I was nervous that if I took her, I'd have to run to throw up.... Maggie woke up every 3 hours, and if she was sleeping, Hulk was up talking. Add in my MIL was visiting, so she kept on getting up and trying to 'help'... fun night had by all.But we are all… -
Hulk Day
21 Jan 2010 | 1:27 pmToday, Hulk and I had a planned trip to the aquarium. I even planned to have Maggie in daycare so I wouldn't have to worry about 2 at the same time (and I could test how I managed the whole 'baby in daycare' thing. It was fine, btw). Last night, when Aaron picked him up from daycare, they mentioned he pooped out an outfit. And then he wouldn't eat dinner. And he pooped out two more times before bed - but all the time acting fine otherwise. I figured we would still go - especially with all the planning I'd done beforehand! He wasn't acting sick - just having the poop issues. This morning, he…
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Helping Make Sense
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Alana's Baby Naming
9 Feb 2010 | 7:03 amWow, it's been almost a month since I've written. Sorry!!! The last few weeks have been very hectic. Alana got her days and nights straight, so, we've been getting some decent sleep at night, but, she's up most days. This kid either sleeps all day or is awake all day, refusing to take a nap! Plus, I really like getting out with her, so, we've been doing things most days, whether she's awake or not!But, what's really kept me busy has been planning Alana's baby naming. In the jewish faith, a baby girl is named in temple when the Torah is read. She is supposed to be named the first time the… -
Go to sleep!!
13 Jan 2010 | 10:05 pmWhoever said that pregnancy-induced insomnia is supposed to prepare you for being up at all hours of the night was a big liar! Huge liar!! There is nothing that can prepare you for lack of sleep!! I really can't complain. Alana sleeps great - from 3:00am to 7:00 or 8:00am. She also tends to sleep great around 10:00 in the morning (when, of course, mommy should take a nap, but, has yet to). When she doesn't/won't/can't sleep is anywhere between the hours of 7:00pm and 3:00am! I keep trying different things, but, no matter what I do, she just cannot fall asleep during these hours. OK, that's… -
Asking for your vote!
7 Jan 2010 | 4:55 amAlana is up for the Best of 2009 on our photographer's website!!! If you'd like to vote for her, head over here and vote for #2!! Voting ends at midnight tonight!!And, while there, check out Tina's amazing work!! Alana's full gallery from our photo shoot is available here and the password is star! I am in awe of the beautiful images she captured!! -
Ready for her closeup
24 Dec 2009 | 8:25 amMeet Alana! Now, while Mommy is working on her photography skills and has yet to capture a picture of Alana where she doesn't look sad or angry, Tina at Life is a Highway Photography has mastered the art of taking newborn pictures!! Please check out her sneak preview of Alana and, if you would like, leave a comment after the photos (50 comments gets us a prize and 100 comments gets us a better prize!). I cannot wait to see the rest of the photos because I'm going to wear out my computer screen (if such a thing was possible) looking at the first one! -
My daughter is a week old today!!!!
16 Dec 2009 | 9:12 amOh, blog world, I am so very sorry that I have let a whole week go by without announcing the birth of the love of my life!! For some reason, I was unable to get online at the hospital, even though they have wireless, and with other things going on, I just wasn't able to troubleshoot it.Alana Anna Aaryn M(lastname) was born on Wednesday, 12/9, at 12:25 in the afternoon via c-section. There is no way I could adequately put into words what I felt at that moment, so, I won't even try, at least not today when I'm a ball of hormones. Let's just say that it's like nothing I ever knew possible!We…
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Infertility Licks!
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Jumble of Thoughts
1 Feb 2010 | 12:18 pmI have a lot of stuff running around my head - mostly adoption or IF related, some parenting related - I just haven't had enough time to sit down and really write about them.Hopefully.... soon.... I'll get it posted. Otherwise, it's just going to keep rattling around in my brain until I get it out. -
Steady as she Goes
18 Jan 2010 | 8:14 amLife here has been pretty much on an even keel since Xmas. We had about 2 days of post-holiday down time and then back to the everyday mayhem of life.MG started swimming lessons this month and after only 4 half-hour sessions, she is willingly putting her head under water. I am so proud of her, especially given her extreme fear of "big water" which translates to water above her head. She has a male instructor with whom she was instantly enamored and I believe that is why her fear was so quickly tossed out the window. Either way, I already enrolled her for the next session of lessons. She… -
Holiday Recap
30 Dec 2009 | 12:38 pmTo put it mildly, Christmas was amazing this year.MG finally "got it" and once she understood that Santa had in fact been to our house, she went nuts. We had all her Santa gifts wrapped in princess paper so it didn't exactly take her long to figure out which ones were for her. I actually had to slow her down - she just ran up to the tree, grabbed the first one she saw (with the special paper) and tore it open. Hilarious!Other than that, she was really good about leaving the tree alone and not even asking to open any of the gifts under it. She actually showed no real interest in the presents… -
Blogger Sightings
29 Dec 2009 | 9:20 amYesterday was fun.... I got to meet TG and her uber tall boyfriend LB. So cool!!!And for the record, she gets extra marks in my book for skiing on the main runs at Whistler on only her SECOND TIME ON SKIS!! She kept a smile on her face the whole time I was with her, even though I'm sure I saw her knees shaking.You rock TG!!! And you will never know how much you have helped me since I stumbled across your blog last year. Thank you very much.PS: I'm going to send you ketchup chips. LOL. -
When Words Fail Me **updated**
22 Dec 2009 | 8:07 pmLife, as we all know it, is full of ups and downs.One of the downs for me was the sudden loss of my father. It was a shock to me and I was ill equipped to handle it. I did my best - I threw myself into the responsibilities that suddenly landed in my lap. I took charge, did what needed to be done and struggled to bury pain that I carried with me. People - friends/coworkers - didn't know what to say to me. Rather than deal with the awkwardness of it, some chose to just ignore it all together. Some chose to ignore me. A simple "I'm so sorry" was really all it would've taken but I guess it's…
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Coming2Terms
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A Fresh Start
16 Jan 2010 | 9:31 amThe new blog name came to me this morning: A Fresh Start After all, isn't that what we crave when we've come through a gut-wrenchingly difficult experience? Coming2Terms went a long way to helping me realize that women without children after infertility experience tremendous isolation. We often feel like misfits, square pegs trying to fit into round holes. That's in large part because we don't have readily available support networks, our own easy-to-locate tribe to turn to following an emotional body slam. For those who go on to parent, there are play groups, the PTA, etc., etc., What we bad… -
New Decade, New Beginnings (updated)
4 Jan 2010 | 5:00 pmUpdated 1/4/2010Wanted to share a TV interview scheduled at the end of last year that took place today on the ABC affiliate KXTV. I hope you find that it moves the discussion away from OctoMom and the related soap opera reality TV shows focused on unusual fertility treatment outcomes to the more basic realities faced by couples coping with infertility. Please feel free to share. You can view the video from the KXTV website here:* * * *Original post from 12/30/2009I made my way into our coffee-perfumed kitchen yesterday morning and heard my better half in the garage. I opened the door into the… -
Yes, Virginia, There Are Lovely "'Fertiles" Out There
19 Dec 2009 | 6:56 amM E M O R A N D U M To: The Fertile Community From: The Infertile Community RE: Bridging the Chasm Caused by Infertility We're talking about you, and, I confess, it's not always in a good way. We spend a fair amount of time in the infertility community sharing anecdotes about how little our "fertile" friends, family and acquaintances "get us." You give us lots of good material to work with. Just a few days ago, The Wall Street Journal (who would have thought?) had a blog post up, The Swell Season: Haunted by Reminders of Infertility, that provided some examples of the typical casual… -
Our Next Guest: An Infertile Woman
10 Dec 2009 | 7:01 amMy, my...how times have changed. Two years ago I could barely summon the courage to acknowledge at a BlogHer holiday meetup that I blogged about infertility. Now, I'm practically wearing a sash. I now chat about infertility with such ease that I sometimes forget that those outside of the infertility community need a little time to wrap their heads around the complex set of ideas we routinely discuss online. For the uninitiated I have to take a deep breath, slow down and move with them through Phase I -- aka the "awkward phase" when someone first attempts to contemplate what infertiles face. -
The Game of Life
29 Nov 2009 | 12:13 pmAnyone out there remember playing the board game LIFE? It's been years since I spun the wheel of fate, but during a visit with friends who have a seven-year-old daughter and nine- and 11-year-old sons I was invited to put a pink peg in a car and see what life had in store for me. On the living room floor in between turns I watched college football and snacked on cheese, nuts and assorted spreads while the other adults relaxed on the sofa and chairs.The game didn't take much concentration since the kids were content to move my car according to my spin result and keep the pay day cash coming my…
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It's Stork Season...And I've Bagged My Limit
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Then and Now
19 Jan 2010 | 10:29 amTHEN..."November 18, 2009Dear Fiddle's Primary Care Doctor,Fiddle has been a client in my office since October 7, 2009. Due to health issues with her 10.5-month-old daughter, Fiddle is experiencing anxiety and stress in trying to care for her daughter. She is suffering from sleep deprivation which only increases her anxiety symptoms. She reports the following:heavy chestdifficulty breathingfuzzy-headednessdesire to run away when overwhelmedcrying periodicallyagitationangerhead feels heavy during attacksnegative thinkingI recommended she seek assistance from you to evaluate her for possible… -
One
26 Dec 2009 | 10:05 amOne year ago today you took your first breath.We couldn't imagine then how much we were blessed.With nervous laughter and excitement in the air,Dr. Okay pulled you out and we saw your red hair.It was 12:05 p.m. when we heard your first cry.Mommy and Daddy felt a vacuum suck them into a new life.You've come a long way these past 12 months -laughed and cried and even said your name once.You went from a blob to a child with lightening speed.First sleep was for the birds, and now it's the bee's knees.You've taught your mom much more than she's taught you.She learned she had no control as her… -
Fitting
22 Oct 2009 | 4:38 pmOn this day, 2 years ago, we saw our first-ever plus sign on a pee-stick. That baby was not meant to be. It seems fitting that the sweet olive, which we planted to remember our loss, just bloomed for the very first time this week. -
Taking a Break
25 Aug 2009 | 9:27 amFinally. I'm writing a post for me. I've been posting to this blog for others, and I realized...why? For comments? For self-validation?I want to take a break from this blog. You are probably laughing b/c you can see my posts lately have been pretty useless. I don't post regularly anyway. And I didn't even make it to my 100th post! What, no silly celebration? I'd only be posting to make it to that mark anyway.I don't want to say I'm quitting entirely. I just don't know when or how often I'll be back. I may be back next week or next year.I self-analyze too much. Fuck, I'm sure most women do. -
Show And Tell - Gun Dog
12 Aug 2009 | 8:54 pm(To see what the rest of the class is presenting at Show and Tell, click hereMeet our lab Chili. Photos follow from the first day we got her through her second hunting season:Her full name is "[our last name]'s Chilton Peach." We live in Chilton County, Alabama, where, I might add, the best peaches in the country are grown. (Listen to a to a tangential story about our peach rivalry with Georgia here.) Chilton is a little over 2 years old now, and she is mainly a pet/yard dog. Ninety percent of the time she's home with us and chasing chipmunks, squirrels, rabbits and mockingbirds out of the…
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Joyce's Blog
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Doughy?
9 Feb 2010 | 2:37 amI made bread! As goal #93 says: “make bread”. So I did. I checked out this book for the boys called Everybody Bakes Bread and lo and behold, there were some bread recipes in the back. I followed the one for “great-grandmother’s Italian bread” a couple of weeks ago and that turned out pretty good. I thought I would make some more bread with my sister for another craft weekend project, but then painting got out of hand, she was nauseated and the boys just wanted to eat crayons. Sooo..I made another recipe by myself on Sunday (this time the recipe for… -
A crafty weekend
8 Feb 2010 | 2:36 amThis weekend was a little busy. On Saturday, Cooper, Spencer and I headed up to my mom and dad’s place in Austin to make Valentine’s crafts with my sister and niece. Turns out the boys aren’t big fans of painting paper. They’re interested in eating crayons and sticking their fingers INTO paint and then shoving said fingers into their mouths, but not so into the making of actual crafts. Maybe next year? Maya was REALLY into painting and made about 30 postcards. These postcards all have a huge dollop of black or blue paint because, you know, nothing says love… -
Too smart, he’s too smart
5 Feb 2010 | 2:51 amLike I said in the 10 month post, Spencer is really smart. Not only is he doing the shape sorter thing (which totally astounds me every single time, because I’ll hand a shape to Cooper and he’ll put it in his mouth. Which is what I think most babies would do…), and not only is he steering his push walker, but he also gauges how big the walker is, how much room he’s got in the doorway of the house and drives it right on through! He is too much! See: oh! I think this just may fit through here. let me just turn this thing around here... I thought so! and now… -
Ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten TEN!!! (longest post ever. you’ve been warned)
3 Feb 2010 | 2:24 amSeriously, ten? Ten months? Ten months have passed? These guys are like little walking calendars. If they weren’t here, I wouldn’t have noticed 10 months just swooped on by. Crazy. The 10 month shoot didn’t go any better than the 9 month one. In fact, I’d say it was much harder. I need extra hands/arms for these shoots. Here, let me just get this for ya. Spencer is just more interesting than you, mom. Sorry! But here's a smile anyway. Here's my cheesiest grin, mom! I've got it. I wonder how it tastes. No wait. No wait! *THIS* is my cheesiest… -
10 month milestones
3 Feb 2010 | 2:11 amI guess this is the time when babies are supposed to get smart. There are a crapload of things they’re supposed to be doing. Let’s see how Cooper and Spencer are measuring up, shall we? Primary milestones for 10 months Milestone ? Age Range ? Development Area ? Crawls up stairs 9-11 months Gross Motor – we don’t have any stairs, but they have both attempted to crawl up the step at my SIL’s house and also the stepstool by the bed in our room Follows simple instructions 9-24 months Cognitive – Yes! They’ll “come here” when I ask, look…
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life from here: musings from the edge
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four years gone
29 Jan 2010 | 12:00 amFour years ago this week, our lives were forever changed in ways that were difficult to fathom even then. The magnitude of what was happening soon become evident. Our only child — who came to us after nearly a year and a half of trying to conceive — was slipping away before we would ever meet. Within the week, our son would be gone. He never took a breath of life. I never even got to hold him. But he was real. He was loved and cherished. His loss left a gaping hole in my heart and took a piece of my soul. I still remember the events as they unfolded, just as it happened four years… -
back on the bus
26 Jan 2010 | 11:17 pmI don’t even know how to write what I want to say. This past weekend was rather intense. Actually there was a lot of tension leading up to this visit with Baby J’s bio-father, so it goes back farther than that. I am exhausted, relieved and still a bit anxious at the same time. Sunday afternoon, T got back on a bus to continue his travels after his brief visit with us. He was in town overnight and the hours we spent with him (three on Saturday and nearly four on Sunday) were simply intense. I feel drained of energy and yet I also feel lighter with relief that at least we made it… -
on the bus
22 Jan 2010 | 11:47 pmI realize I haven’t written much about Baby J’s biological father. This is quite intentional, for good reason — partly because it is not really my story to tell and partly because it is challenging to discuss the rest without saying too much. I’ve alluded to difficulties in the past that are not for the telling. Suffice it to say that our relationship with Baby J’s biological father T was strained from the start. We never had the opportunity to build a strong foundation with him. He was unavailable in every possible way. It has seemed a bit strange to have such a… -
how do you do it?
14 Jan 2010 | 11:11 pmWell, my friends, returning to work is sort of kicking my ass. While I normally don’t like to drone on about all the things I’m doing instead of blogging, I’ll simply say that I am struggling to find time for much of anything. I’m only working part time, about 25 hours/week or so — two full days in the office and two half days at home. But add a few hours in commute time to the days in the office, and subtract a whole lot of time trying to tend to Baby J at home and you’ve got a crazy schedule for someone working only part time. At home, I’m… -
2009: a year of transformation (after a decade of crap)
31 Dec 2009 | 8:41 amAh, the obligatory year end post. I’ll try to make it quick though, so you can get back to your cocktail. Even though it’s still morning here. Oh hell, just pull up a chair and toss one back and let us bid farewell to the whole decade. Fare thee well decade of ’00s — don’t let the door slam your fat ass on the way out! Last year as I bid farewell to 2008, I realized what a striking year it had been. But as I have an annoying tendency to do, as I did when I bid farewell to 2007, let’s go back even further, shall we? How about a little context. How about the…
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Maybe If You Just Relax
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Shucky Darn?
8 Feb 2010 | 6:24 pmI totally have to stop swearing. Olivia? Is going to be one this weekend. ONE. As in, an entire year old. I can not believe it, and I'll tell you who else can not believe it: My Lady Business. She has not stopped bitching about the trauma of her birth, what with her I'm So Dry and Ouch Ouch Scar Tissue routine. A real complainer, that one. It's like, she produces the miracle of life then expects -
She Walks!
4 Feb 2010 | 7:15 pmIs there anything worse than hearing your own voice? I don't think that there possibly could be anything worse. Plug your ears and watch Olivia be a big grown up baybee! -
Question to which you no longer need an answer.
3 Feb 2010 | 5:24 pmFanpage Friday would be a great idea. If I could get my shit collected enough to actually follow through. Which I cannot, obviously. If you'd like to suggest blog topics for me to use in a very untimely manner at my own delayed discretion, you can become a Facebook fan by clicking here. Suggested by Kim: First Birthday Party Ideas Let me get back to you about that! I'll be throwing a tiny -
Just Because I Like This Picture.
31 Jan 2010 | 5:13 pmraspberries... This week is going to be so much better than last week. For Sure. -
Complex, but fine.
29 Jan 2010 | 11:26 amFebrile seizures come in two funsize varieties: simple and complex. At the beginning of the month, Olivia had two febrile seizures. Simple, as we know now. Even though anyone who witnesses a febrile seizure will tell you that it appears to be anything but simple. Scary is more appropriate. Febrile seizures are caused by fever. Or, temperature, I guess. Not necessarily how high, but how fast
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No Regrets
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wanna play?
4 Feb 2010 | 12:25 pmWe've all heard about it, seen it, and have possibly been a part of it at sometime during a particular rough period in our life.It's the dreaded...DUH-Duh-duhhhh...Pain Olympics.Phrases like, "Yeah, BUT..." and "At least..." are mandatory to play correctly and there are usually so many "You", "I", and "My friend" stories flung aimlessly to compare and contrast war wounds that the topic at hand is -
friends, babies, and a very long mindless babble
3 Feb 2010 | 10:29 amIt's my fault really. I guess I should have been more honest with my friend about how I was/wasn't coping with my her pregnancy/baby. I have been trying to act like a fertile normal supportive friend kind of person and it is now biting me in the ass...really really hard.Granted I knew she was pregnant from a couple days after she peed on a stick. Not because she told me then, but because of the -
good-bye sweet buddy
24 Jan 2010 | 4:17 pmJordan (Bear)01/30/97 - 01/24/10 -
life...and other stuff
14 Jan 2010 | 8:07 amI have so much to say about all the losses and very much appreciate hearing what you all had to say. Some of it was surprising to me and has given me much food for thought over our own list and how it has evolved throughout our journey.I will be back to write more about it, but wanted to pop in quickly just so I stay out of the habit of disappearing for months on end. I am going to fall already -
who knew?
7 Jan 2010 | 11:23 amIt has been "suggested" to me that if I continue to talk about this "stuff" over and over (even if I say the same damn thing every single time) I should eventually see some light and a way through it. It sounds like a novel concept, though I'm more of the mindset that if I've said it once I'm ready to move away from it and call it good enough... Have I mentioned that it has also been suggested (
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Not like I thought it would be
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all done
21 Jan 2010 | 6:35 amHello good blog-people. I hope you're all well. I have been thinking for some time now that I might be finished blogging, and have finally come to the decision that I am. Back in the day, I had so much to write about, so much that I needed to write about. I think that is the key. I needed to write and get it out and receive validation and support, and you never let me down. Blogging and making friends through blogging has been an amazing experience. But, alas, as I no longer feel the strong need to write, and as I am not a writer, I feel that I am done with this blog. I guess I'm going to… -
new year
29 Dec 2009 | 7:13 amI meant to wish you all happy holidays before Christmas, but you'll have to settle for belated wishes. I hope your holidays (whichever ones you celebrate(d)) were/are wonderful and I wish you all a happy and healthy 2010. For those of you waiting to start your families, I wish and hope that this is the year your dreams of motherhood come true.Much love... -
still torn
17 Dec 2009 | 11:11 amThis is a post that I have toyed with for a while, not knowing how to put it into words without just flat-out whining, but I'm going to try. I don't intend this to be a whine session at all. It is more that I just need to get it out, even if I have said most of it before. It's still eating at me and you are the ones who understand.When I found out I was pregnant earlier this year, I had not intended, expected, or even wanted to get pregnant. I was as over getting pregnant as an infertile girl can be. I had tucked that desire neatly away in a small rarely visited part of my mind. It wasn't… -
prediction
8 Dec 2009 | 8:27 amI feel bad giving this train wreck any attention on my blog, but I have to get my prediction out there so I can say I told you so. My name is Tiger.Woods, and I'm a sex addict.You heard it here first! -
sorry
8 Dec 2009 | 7:07 amI decided to delete photos. Sorry if all the old posts are coming up in your readers. You can just delete them all. I don't know why, but I feel like being a little more private. I know it's been going around. Have a lovely day!
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Our Journey
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December...
24 Jan 2010 | 5:34 pmDecember was a very busy month with the holidays coming and since my husband works in retail! Caitlin met Santa for the first time. It went pretty well, no crying at all. She finally moved to the tub!Found her Thumb!!! although, soothie is still her favoriteAnd Best of all, we celebrated her first Christmas!!So, that wraps up 2009... -
Wow, it's been awhile!
22 Jan 2010 | 6:37 pmI can't believe how long it's been since I've blogged. Life has been completely crazy and busy! I don't even know where to start with everything that's happened since September, some good and some bad. I returned to work in Mid-October and Caitlin started daycare. She is doing very well there!! It took some time adjusting but I think we have a pretty good routine going. Caitlin celebrated her first Halloween as a flower!In November, she started eating solids, her first was carrots! Of course, we starated with cereal but carrots were the first veggie! definitely a hit!She turned 4 months old… -
Hello? Hello? Is anyone there?
11 Sep 2009 | 7:26 pmwow, I can't believe that I have NOT updated this blog in almost two months!! I'm a horrible blogger and an even worse blog reader. I've probably lost all of you now with my absolutely most boring and non existent blog. Well, if anyone is still checking in, here's a teaser...Baby Cate at two months I promise to try to do some more updating but for now, I must try to get some sleep! -
My Birth Story
18 Jul 2009 | 7:40 pmOn Wednesday, July 8, I had an appt with my ob. The prior day, I had seen the peri who did my weekly NST and BPP. They also did a growth scan which showed Cate was measuring two weeks ahead and 9 pounds 2 ounces. Of course, being we did IVF, we know that my dates aren't off. The Peri suggested that if I was in a position to be induced, that it was time.So, I went in to meet with my OB. I had progressed to 2cm from the prior visit where I wass only 1/2 cm. I'm not sure what happened but before I knew it, my OB was on the phone with the hospital giving them instructions on my inducement. I… -
Caitlin Eve is here!!
18 Jul 2009 | 6:54 pmCate arrived on July 10th at 1:12am via C-Section. She was 9 pounds, 15 ounces and 21 inches long. I've been extremely busy taking care of her and myself! I promise I will start working on my birth story. We are all doing well and adjusting to being home!!
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Twice As Nice
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Nothin'
4 Feb 2010 | 2:22 pmMy camera cord is missing. I have a ton of pictures just waiting to be loaded from the camera. Hopefully I will find it soon and be back to posting. -
Domestic Divas
1 Feb 2010 | 7:19 pmAbby used to be terrified of the vacuum. She would run away, but then cry and come back in the room. It was like she had to keep tabs on where that monster was!But this past week, she wanted to be like Daddy.That's what I am talkin' 'bout!!Soon cleaning was abandoned(along with their pants)I love that they love to read!Abby may be into her vacuumbut Olivia is into the BLING!We are still battling the flu here. How long is it supposed to last again??If I could find my camera cord, I could show you a picture of them lounging with blankets and being pitiful. Oh my the snot, the whinyness (Is that… -
Privacy Shmivacy
29 Jan 2010 | 8:22 pmYes, that would be Olivia...outside the bathroom door...giggling and calling to whoever is inside...Sometimes you can see her little fingers under the door -
Simple Thursday
28 Jan 2010 | 6:13 amThe girls have the flu. So sleep has not been going so well this week. But let me tell you, give me the flu any day over Strep! They are clingy and needy, but still feel like playing and going about life as usual. The biggest change we have seen is their energy level. They go, go, go then they come and collapse on us to rest for a little bit then they are off again. So I made this simple tip pretty short since we are doing lots of cuddling here today. I would love to hear how other Moms and women have made life more simple!My simple tip today is pretty simple in itself. When the girls were… -
AT&T
26 Jan 2010 | 7:26 amAs in...always talking and talking.Zachary certainly got his motor mouth from me, according to my mom. I have been waiting to see if the girl's follow in our voice steps.And by the way...do anyone else's toddlers speak Japanese? I swear that is what it sounds like they are speaking. We do a lot of "Oh yeah?" "Oh, that is great!" "Really?" as they babble to us. Olivia babbles a whole lot. Abby says more actual words. They both can get their point across by pointing and babbling. I can usually figure out what they want even if they aren't saying actual words.Well, besides here...Abby says,…
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Two Years and Counting
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Signing off from this site
20 Jan 2010 | 2:35 pmI’m here making what is probably my last post at this site. However I’ve started a new blog, and if there’s anyone still reading, I’d love for you to come to the new site. First though, I’d like to explain why I’m leaving this blog. This blog, and more importantly, other girls’ blogs in the infertility community, were a sort of refuge for me during our two year journey to getting pregnant. It was so helpful to read your stories and to contribute my own. Once we finally did become pregnant, and especially after I had Kate, I struggled with what to post… -
Katherine Grace
22 Nov 2009 | 6:58 pmSorry for the late update, and this one will probably be short and sweet. I’ve hardly had a second to get on the computer in the last week, and I just have a few minutes now. Kate is here! She arrived about a week and a half ago, Wednesday November 11 at 3:55pm after about 8 hours of labor–5 of which were really productive and promising–but which ended with a c-section. The night before, I had a cervical catheter put in, which caused extreme cramping. Definitely not a fun thing. I had to get pain medicine when I couldn’t handle it anymore. The pain medicine made me get… -
Update on dr. appt.
5 Nov 2009 | 11:08 amUpdate after my appt yesterday: Due to the antibody I have and the heparin I’m on because of that antibody, as well as the tiny possibility the baby is growth restricted (even though she said her gut says that’s not the case), Dr G wants to induce labor before 40 weeks. I’m still only at 1 cm and about 60% effaced. She suggested inducing on Monday morning, but coming in on Sunday and having a cervical catheter put in to increase dilation to prepare for induction. I said since we’re planning and scheduling this thing, would it be possible to do it a bit later in the… -
38 weeks
2 Nov 2009 | 11:27 amJust a quick update to say no baby yet. I’ve officially entered the pretty miserable stage. And I feel sort of guilty saying that because my belly doesn’t look that big, so when people ask how I”m feeling and I say something to the effect of “Oh I’m making it,” I feel like they’re having to restrain themselves from rolling their eyes. But it’s what you can’t see! This baby dropped down low into my pelvis several weeks ago, and I think she’s dropped down even lower a couple times since then. Right now, if I’m up and active… -
35 1/2 weeks
13 Oct 2009 | 12:30 pm**Below is what I posted today on our family blog. The only other thing I’ll add right now is that we were extremely frustrated with the appt with the maternal fetal specialist yesterday. Our copay for specialists is $50, and basicallyw e paid him $50 to tell us what we already knew ourselves. He just repeated himself about 4 times, saying the same thing over and over, and when he left, M and I both looked at each other with “what the heck was that?” faces. The ultrasound that the nurse did was helpful and reassuring since everything looked good and there was nothing that…
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Weebles Wobblog
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Perfect Moment Monday: HE WENT TO JARED'S
7 Feb 2010 | 7:00 pmPerfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between. Once a week we engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join. Details on how to participate are at the bottom of this post, complete with bloggy bling. Please visit the links of the -
Adoption Angles: My bling and my John Travolta impression
5 Feb 2010 | 6:00 amMy apologies if you don't have an hour, because watching this video is the only way the title is going to make sense to you. This week I was the guest on Melissa's Adoption Angles. We played to a large audience (wow, Melissa, well done!) which was delightfully involved and curious about creating a child-centered open adoption. We had sound difficulties for the first 15 minutes, which was when I -
Show & Tell: Science project
3 Feb 2010 | 4:00 pmSubtitle: How I ended up on the N0Fly List. Reed, Grade 1, had his first Minds at Work Exhibition. It was 99% self-directed (I insisted he change his focus from "weapons" to "military weapons") and 99% completed by Reed himself (I wrote the answers he gathered through an interview with his uncle so he could copy them; I googled for images). He was to choose a topic and run with it, resulting in -
Tune in Wednesday; I'm on MomTV
2 Feb 2010 | 6:29 pmI'm going to be on Adoption Angles Wednesday evening (tomorrow!) at 7 pm MST (that's 9 pm to you east coasters, 6 pm to you west coasters, and 8 pm to you centralites). Host Melissa has told me all I need is a webcam and a Merlot. I'm all set as far as she's concerned, but I also think I'd better come up with something to say. My topic is open adoption. Is there anything specific you'd like me -
Perfect Moment Monday: Good hair day
31 Jan 2010 | 7:00 pmPerfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between. Once a week we engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join. Details on how to participate are at the bottom of this post, complete with bloggy bling. Please visit the links of the
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Our Family Beginnings
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Wordless Wednesday: Sharing
3 Feb 2010 | 7:11 am -
Thanks
2 Feb 2010 | 2:36 pmTo whomever wrote the Secret Ode about me, it was so nice to read it after a long two weeks. You made my day, you anonymous yet gorgeous person. Also thanks to Mel and E’s Mama who make it possible for me to be…well…me. You two are two of the best friends a girl could ask for, aside from Mr. Badger, of course. You prop me up when I’m blue and help me shine when I’m sunny. -
Protected: The Gauntlet Has Been Thrown
26 Jan 2010 | 8:24 amThis post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below: Password: -
Show & Tell: My Furley Girl
21 Jan 2010 | 6:49 amToday sucks. We got the news yesterda that we have to put our dear Furley to sleep. She started losing weight and acting lethargic a week or so ago, and when I took her to the vet, we basically were told that it was the most humane thing to do. So I will muster up my game face and remember that I have to be a mom today after I put her to rest. Today I share some of my favorite pictures of her, including some taken this morning. She was a mouthly girl who loved to be around people, and leaves behind her littermate of 10 years, Roper. -
So much to say
19 Jan 2010 | 6:26 amV is growing so fast, as fast as they say it goes, if not faster. We knew it would happen, but wow, a whole year almost? I have all these things to say as we approach official toddlerhood, but the man keeps me so busy that I haven’t made time to stop and record all of my thoughts. What I really need to do is just have some posts in progress and add to them as I think of them, or put titles of things I want to write down, knowing I can go back later and fill them in. It’s been an amazing year, and we have so much to be thankful for. JJ’s on her way over with O-man, Callie…
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China Adopt Talk
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Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven by Susan Jane Gilman
9 Feb 2010 | 7:04 amI usually read at night, after the girls are in bed. But work has been a bit crazy, and I’ve found myself bringing work home and spending three to five hours working at night after the girls are in bed. I started Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven last week but do not [...] -
9 Feb 2010 | 4:11 am
9 Feb 2010 | 4:11 amIt looks like we need to count the list that came out Sunday night. It wasn’t as large as some, but I’m hearing that it was definitely large enough to count. Looking at the numbers: The shortest time frame is 20 days (the time just waited), the longest is 49. The average [...] -
Did a new Shared List come out last night?
8 Feb 2010 | 4:17 amI’m not seeing any announcements from anyone that they were matched. I had planned to do a When post for the next list today, but if the one that was supposed to come out last night did not, then that would be jumping the gun. -
Review Room: Box Changed
6 Feb 2010 | 4:18 amSeveral agencies are reporting that the CCAA has changed their internal box to show that files through April 30, 2008 have been reviewed. The Histories page is updated. And if you haven’t checked out the Babies!!! post in a while, there are more pictures! -
Because a Picture is worth a Thousand Words
5 Feb 2010 | 4:33 amSometimes it’s easier to explain my projections by showing the actual poll numbers. To the left you’ll see the numbers from the poll that ended 11/02/08. I’m using an older poll so you can see more history – if we use a newer poll there isn’t as much history to see. Each color band represents one [...]
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Journeywoman
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Thirteen great bumper stickers
3 Feb 2010 | 8:27 pmThis week has sucked. Just flat out sucked To try to cheer myself up I thought about some of the neatest bumper stickers I have ever seen. 1) Things have never been the same since that house fell on my sister.2) The last time we mixed politics with religion, people were burned at the stake. 3) Jesus Saves--by clipping coupons and shopping at Wal-Mart4) The closer you tailgate, the slower I go!5) Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket?6) Republicans for Voldemort7) Feminists have this radical notion that women are people.8) Gandhi would have slapped you… -
Nothing much to say
1 Feb 2010 | 7:43 pmI spent most of the day thinking about my high school friend who is no longer alive. I know that one day I will stop breathing. I've prepared for it. I didn't know that I would feel this way about someone I didn't know.Maybe it's because he took his own life. I wanted to call up every friend and tell them to don't, not EVER, think of doing this because it sucks. I have so many things I want to say to him. I want to say that this was so shitty of him to pay back Doll's love and support by taking this easy way out. I want to… -
Wind to thy wings
31 Jan 2010 | 6:26 amIt has been a bit. First I burned my hand, then I had tooth issues--I had the worst root canal I ever had. I thought I was having a bad bad week.Then yesterday happened. I found out that a high school friend had passed away. Passed away. You know, those words suck. It's so mild. It's so fucking tepid. I want to rage that the world can go on turning without him in it--except the person I'm raging at--is me. I'd be lying if I said I was close to him. I wasn't. Either in High School or now. I… -
ouch
20 Jan 2010 | 8:41 pmSo, I am having a JossWhedthon on Saturday. Where a bunch of friends are going to come over and watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Firefly and Doctor Horrible until our eyes bleed out of our heads. So as is my habit I am cooking to feed them so they are full until easter. Tonight I was making southern fried chicken fingers. And I was using the tongs and some of the hot oil in the tongs dripped on my hand. Ouch.After much contemplation I did not go to the ER but I sent D to the drug store to get stuff to put on it. It hurts. I won't be… -
Naked
18 Jan 2010 | 8:23 pmOkay, I asked and it is time to tell. The most naked I have ever been in public--as in showing flesh--was in on a beach in Annecy, France. I was with my husband, my heart-sister and my heart-brother-in-law. The beach, as are many European beaches was a topless one. There were woman with more to show off than I--well showing off. I had my one piece and my t-shirt, as I usually do. I mean, I was just too fat to go out in public with a bathing suit. But on this beach there were women who were heavier than I. Two that I noted had MUCH more on top…
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The Sweet Life
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Je T'aimais, Je T'aime Et Je T'aimerai
7 Feb 2010 | 11:30 am"I Vee, love and cherish you. Max, for being all that you are, and all that you can be. Know that I am here for you and that all your joys and pain will be mine. I ask for your love, your trust, your caring. I choose you to be my husband till death do us part."Our wedding vows - 7 years ago today.This is one of the songs we played during our wedding church service.Us. Forever and ever together. -
Making progress.
5 Feb 2010 | 8:18 pmWell things are coming together. I have started to collect photos for Max's DVD, but I have had to put it away on numerous occasions. I would like to try and get it done sooner rather that later, only because I don't want the constant thought of his funeral hanging over my head and for the same reason I am trying to get the funeral arrangements out of the way. Max bought his flat widescreen TV -
Our Brave Boy.
1 Feb 2010 | 3:38 pmOur brave boy with the Lions at the Zoo last week. He even had his back to them THAT is how brave he is ;-) -
The two of us.
30 Jan 2010 | 3:02 amI sat in the garden on a beautiful summers day with my son on my lap. As he sat quietly taking in the moving trees, the sounds of the birds and the warm breeze on his cheeks, I lent my chin gently on the top of his head and hugged him as I held him from behind. It was just the two of us. I thought about the future. This is the way it is going to be......just the two of us. My son and I. I don't -
A tough one.
29 Jan 2010 | 12:56 amMax got the green light to go on a short flight, hallelujah! As long as he does his legs exercises and puts his feet up as soon as he gets to our destination and as long as he feels up to taking the trip.Max decided that he wants to make his funeral arrangements before we book a holiday. So today we met with a Funeral Director. Something that I have not been looking forward and trying to put off
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Bee in the Bonnet
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Words and Cats and Doctors
8 Feb 2010 | 1:15 pmYou know the whole Iron Commenter status that one can achieve by commenting on all the IComLeavWe blogs? (See Mel's blog if any of that confused you...)Well, I want to nominate myself for Opposite Day Iron Commenter. What would that be, Shit Commenter? Horribly Lazy Commenter? Whatever it is, that would be me lately.I am reading, rest assured, but it's like I've somehow used up all the words I've been alloted for the week and can't bring myself to leave comments, even though I know how great it feels to get comments. But still. The word-thermometer is low right now. The last post was a big… -
She Whines! What A Shock!
2 Feb 2010 | 8:48 amIt's been brought to my attention by a friend that I never blog about regular old life stuff anymore. And that's true, I know. There seems to just be this annoying thing that happens when you get pregnant where it's virtually impossible to talk about pretty much anything without somehow relating it to your pregnancy. It's like the pregnancy looms so large in your life that you can't scoot past it without scraping some of it off on your absurdly swollen belly. (Seriously. Have you ever seen a very pregnant person trying to negotiate a tight spot? Pure comedy.)Anyhow, there are things besides… -
More on the Ultrasound...
31 Jan 2010 | 7:56 amI meant to say so much more about Thursday's ultrasound, but well, the headache. You know. I complain about the headaches often, but I really hadn't noticed that they only tend to be actual bad-awful-terrible headaches when I've delayed a meal. These babies are hungry, and demanding, and even though my substantial weight gain says that I'm obviously getting enough to eat, I clearly need to pay more attention to my diet, specifically eating more frequently. Sigh. For you, babies, I think I can manage to eat more often ('cos it's SO HARD to cram more food into my gaping maw... I'm such a… -
It's A... Real Answer This Time!
28 Jan 2010 | 2:34 pmSo, for those of you waiting with bated breath to know what resides between the sweet fetal legs of these little Sparks, here is your answer: It's a...BOY!and a...nother BOY!Two tiny weenuses were waggling around on the screen today. So, it looks like John and Paul were the most accurate nicknames, though Earline and Joe-Cletus could just as easily be simply EARL and Joe-Cletus. And of the 20 of you who responded to the post regarding guessing the sexes, most of you went with statistics and said boy/girl, and three of you took the Contrary Universe stance and thought they'd be girl/girl. But… -
Officially Crazy
26 Jan 2010 | 9:06 amSo today, I went to my very first ever meeting with a therapist. In theory, I was there to work on some biofeedback techniques for resolving stress (to hopefully resolve some of my headaches), but as is wont to happen in a therapist session, we ended up talking about much more than just headaches and stress. The thing is, I've known for a long time that I'm prone to anxiety. That's no shocker. And that I was an unhappy kid and rebellious teenager is no shocker either. But it wasn't until she was asking questions in the ways that she was asking them that I realize that I've got a long history…
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Forever Reaching
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A new venture
3 Feb 2010 | 11:13 pmI mentioned this on FB but not too much here in my blog: In December I went to an information session at a hospital regarding weight loss surgery. I am interested in the lap band. On February 1st I started the first set of meetings: I met with a nutrtionist who told me what the proceess will be: a 2 week pre op liquid diet, 10 days post op liquid diet, 10 days post op puree diet and then back to the new normal. the new normal being slow eating, small pieces and drinking liquids after eating. The next was a brief nurse visit. This is the real trauma of the day. And not what I thought: BP:… -
Saturday Scattergories
30 Jan 2010 | 8:36 pmSCATTERGORIES – it’s harder than it looks! Play here or let me know if you play on your blog. (note to those new to the game: these don’t have to be actual truths. If it helps- replace the word “you” in the questions & substitute it with “someone”.) Play on & use your imagination! Use the first letter of the answer to the first question to come up with answers for the rest. 1. What is the color of your bedspread/quilt/comforter? pastel pattern 2. Something you watch on the weekend PBS 3. Something you wear on the weekend. Pajamas 4. Something you eat on the weekend… -
A question of worth
22 Jan 2010 | 2:17 pmAn interesting discussion over on a little pregnant asked those who are parenting after infertility: Was it worth it? This gave me pause. My first answer is hell NO! I don’t have a child nor the means to adopt. I’ve gained about 40 lbs, my marriage went through the ringer, I chose jobs I did not like for the benefits, I delayed so many things thinking I would be pregnant I lost interest in all other non ttc related things, felt close to relapsing, had to get back on psych meds and on and on and on. BUT I’ve met people that have saved my life and my sanity more times than I… -
First bullet post of 2010
12 Jan 2010 | 9:13 pmwe still fostering Inky. He has Giardia. Until that clears up he’s not going to be very adoptable Flo is going to need kitty therapy. Have learned that he is so not an Alpha cat and is being bullied by a cat half his size. we have to CARRY him out of the bedroom to his food bowls Work is getting a surge of cases and a group starting up Mikey is unemployed. Still. money woes. too much being taken out of the FSA still active at MCCNY still active in AA going for a consult for lap band surgery on feb 1 still infertile. it still sucks. -
umm
7 Jan 2010 | 10:34 pmi owe some writing. im in a funk. gee i wonder why. sigh i’ll be back soon
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Apron Strings for Emily
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Tears Like Diamonds
8 Feb 2010 | 5:10 pmOne of my favorite characters is back for the season finale of Heroes tonight. As I sit here watching the show, I can’t help but think of how much Hiro reminds me of my Hubby. On the drive to work during a warm September morning last year, Hubby & I heard that song “Her Diamonds” on the radio. I had heard the song off of Rob Thomas’ latest album many times last summer and was looking forward to seeing him in concert later in October. However there was something about hearing that song on that morning with the sun rising off Lake Michigan that had me truly… -
Milestones
7 Feb 2010 | 11:34 amYay! Made it through the first week of posting daily … and now I need to get through 3 more weeks. I can do this … I can do this … Well, especially since I really should be spending this “lazy” Sunday afternoon actually doing those every day tasks I should be doing at work. Like getting some weekly case reviews together, and calculating … oh, who cares?! Point is, work’s network decided that I spent enough time at my work desk yesterday that I’m not able to log in remotely today. At least one of us is looking out for my sanity … So instead… -
Tie-ired
6 Feb 2010 | 6:54 pmEesh. I’m frickin’ exhausted. I woke up this morning with the intent of going into work ahead of the rest of my staff, so I could pick up a big Box O’Joe and sweets from Dunkin’ Donuts for all of us. Yeah, something about almost falling asleep during dinner last night should have clued me in. So when the alarm clock went off this morning, I could barely drag myself out of bed. But alas, I managed to do my usual morning routine for a working weekday … for the sixth day in a row. Nope. Not bitter at all that I had to go in to work today. Not at all. Except …… -
Overtime Ties
5 Feb 2010 | 6:45 amKeeping my TIES with Detroit ... Whew. What a day. What a work week! And the sad thing is that my work week ain’t even over. Yes. That’s right. I gots myself more work to do. And not just the normal “sign into our system from my laptop at home” -type of work. Nope … Tomorrow I get to schlep my butt back downtown and work at my wonderful cubicle. And that’s because the rest of my team is coming in for a little overtime work as well. Sigh … Why does it always seem like the beginning of a business year is less about “new beginnings” and… -
Free Will & Fate
4 Feb 2010 | 6:25 amI admit it. I’m a TV junkie. Maybe it’s because I spend most of the winter evenings indoors; especially since I’m still not used to it being so dark by 5 pm here in Chicago. Or it could also be that I find myself having little energy after a non-stop busy day at work. Either way, I tend to find myself in front of the proverbial “Boob Tube” by 7 pm each evening.* It’s also a horrible thing … this new fan-dangled device called a DVR. Because now, not only can I watch one TV series I keep up with, but I can record a second TV series that I also follow…
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Maybe If You Just Relax
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Shucky Darn?
8 Feb 2010 | 6:24 pmI totally have to stop swearing. Olivia? Is going to be one this weekend. ONE. As in, an entire year old. I can not believe it, and I'll tell you who else can not believe it: My Lady Business. She has not stopped bitching about the trauma of her birth, what with her I'm So Dry and Ouch Ouch Scar Tissue routine. A real complainer, that one. It's like, she produces the miracle of life then expects -
She Walks!
4 Feb 2010 | 7:15 pmIs there anything worse than hearing your own voice? I don't think that there possibly could be anything worse. Plug your ears and watch Olivia be a big grown up baybee! -
Question to which you no longer need an answer.
3 Feb 2010 | 5:24 pmFanpage Friday would be a great idea. If I could get my shit collected enough to actually follow through. Which I cannot, obviously. If you'd like to suggest blog topics for me to use in a very untimely manner at my own delayed discretion, you can become a Facebook fan by clicking here. Suggested by Kim: First Birthday Party Ideas Let me get back to you about that! I'll be throwing a tiny -
Just Because I Like This Picture.
31 Jan 2010 | 5:13 pmraspberries... This week is going to be so much better than last week. For Sure. -
Complex, but fine.
29 Jan 2010 | 11:26 amFebrile seizures come in two funsize varieties: simple and complex. At the beginning of the month, Olivia had two febrile seizures. Simple, as we know now. Even though anyone who witnesses a febrile seizure will tell you that it appears to be anything but simple. Scary is more appropriate. Febrile seizures are caused by fever. Or, temperature, I guess. Not necessarily how high, but how fast
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glow in the woods
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on breaking habits and freeing arms
8 Feb 2010 | 5:54 amMrs. Spit was amazed to find herself pregnant in June of 2007, and heartbroken in December, when her son Gabriel died. Thrust into a world she didn’t understand, she’s works on finding peace there, trying to understand how to move forward. She blogs daily at Mrs. Spit . . . Still Spouting Off, writing about her life as a wife, a friend, a knitting-gardener, and occasionally, as the mother to a dead child. Choosing to move a step forward in your grief is such a personal, such an individual thing. It comes on its own time line, with its own rules. When you chose to get out of… -
Change
4 Feb 2010 | 7:14 amEvery day I make an effort to have a nice time out there in the World. I'm not aiming for the stars, not trying to seize every single moment with fervor and gusto, I'm just gunning for good. Good is enough if you can do it on a daily basis. I sleep later now, every day. I need an hour or so of semi-wakefulness to gear up and get ready for the chill and sunlight and this relentless, active life. I guess I still can't believe, every morning, that this is the Universe I live in. I take a shower and I love it. As hot as I can stand it. Sometimes I reflect on how… -
Still
1 Feb 2010 | 11:48 amJust before the turn on the year Angie asked for one word. One word from each, to make a community poem, to kick off the year of still life 365, the art blog by and for the community. I didn't have my word until it was too late, until the submission deadline was past. I had two, actually, but they were connected and I even knew which I would pick if I had to pick just the one. But deadline was past, and so the choosing was academic. Except that my next thought was that surely both of my words must've made it in by someone else's hand, being so obvious and all. The poem came out beautiful and… -
the inescapability of karma, maybe
25 Jan 2010 | 4:00 amAngie Yingst is a writer, poet, and painter. With the stillbirth of her second daughter Lucia, Angie began writing about mothering and grief at Still Life with Circles. She shares a piece of art, music or writing from a bereaved parent or family member every day at the year-long creative project still life 365, and paints and illustrates mizuko jizo and other aspects of babyloss, pregnancy and parenting at her Etsy shop. Angie currently resides near Philadelphia with her husband Sam, daughter Beatrice, and her dog Jack. She is expecting her third child. For a couple of months after my… -
Well, How Did I Get Here?
21 Jan 2010 | 9:17 amI know for many (most?) of you, the decision to have another baby after the death of the same is as innate and natural and "Well, DUH" as drinking a glass of water or breathing. In fact, I'd hazard a guess that for many it's hardly a "decision" at all, but a compelling force or internal drive. Or something. And not that it's easy for anyone to go back down that road, but for some, like me and a few others in my shoes who have more than just "Well, that was just a fluke of (really fucking abysmal) luck, really" it's not quite so easy to jump back into the saddle. It is, in fact, a decision.
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Infertility on the Brain!
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18 Weeks: Rinse and Repeat
8 Feb 2010 | 3:55 pmFirst, I want to thank everyone for all of the WONDERFUL advice on what items to register for! Wow, what a great list! I've added a bunch of those items on my registries, and I think your comments have even helped some of my other blogger buddies who are working on their baby gear collection. THANKSOMUCH!So um, we are on snow day number 5 bazillion. Actually, I think it's our 7th day, and all of that within the past 2 weeks or so. 7 days, 5 bazillion, same difference. Last week I only had to go in on Thursday, and it was a delayed day at that. One of my adorable eight year olds (oh how I love… -
17 Weeks: Thoughts on Baby Gear
1 Feb 2010 | 1:40 pmI'm sorry my blog has become a gloating, pregnancy oozing, account of my life. I remember slacking off on reading blogs of IF girls whom I'd followed, and were pregnant just because it was so painful. I was honestly happy for them, but reading about their joy made me feel sorry for myself. I sometimes feel bad about the gloating, but other times I feel somehow like I've earned it, which is still kind of absurd because obviously someone who got pregnant on their own doesn't NOT deserve it... It's weird being on the other side of infertility. I'm just so happy and grateful to be here. And so I… -
It's a...
29 Jan 2010 | 2:38 pmIt's a girl and... another girl! Probably. The OB said he was almost certain, but that we'd know for sure at the 22 week ultrasound.I am sooooooooooo excited! I must admit that I wanted at least one girl, although I would have been happy with any combination. Just think of the cute clothes and girly things we will do!!! Melt my heart!It was a good ultrasound. Mr. PJ went with me, and of the two ultrasound techs that work there, one was out sick and the other had taken a vacation day. So, we got about an hour with the head hauncho OB who is just so very nice. I fell a little more into like… -
My body is protesting...
23 Jan 2010 | 5:44 pmI hate to bitch about pregnancy symptoms because I am so grateful to actually BE pregnant, but seriously!?! Warning - Lots of grossness here.I have The Reflux. This morning we went to IHOP and I had half of the eggs, sausage gravy and biscuits, and hash browns. Best breakfast I've had in ages. And I promptly hurled, right there in IHOP. Not embarassing at all! Mostly the hurling, it happens during the night though. Let's say, 45 minutes after I get to sleep. I've been hurling 2-4 times A WEEK over the past three or four weeks. I kind of hate myself. I've been taking Zantac 150 2x a day as my… -
Further Thoughts on Finances
18 Jan 2010 | 7:04 amThank you all so much for your comments on my last post! Lots of great ideas and you confirmed my scant findings on childcare costs.The bottom line is, we would be spending more than 3/4ths of my salary on childcare and that just doesn't make sense. I did have the epiphany yesterday that I could do childcare in my home! (And this morning I read Kate's comment, which was spot on.) Probably just one child, so I can keep my sanity. I'm right in the middle of town, near the university and a park that caters to small children and so it would be perfect for someone to drop off their little one for…
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life from here: musings from the edge
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four years gone
29 Jan 2010 | 12:00 amFour years ago this week, our lives were forever changed in ways that were difficult to fathom even then. The magnitude of what was happening soon become evident. Our only child — who came to us after nearly a year and a half of trying to conceive — was slipping away before we would ever meet. Within the week, our son would be gone. He never took a breath of life. I never even got to hold him. But he was real. He was loved and cherished. His loss left a gaping hole in my heart and took a piece of my soul. I still remember the events as they unfolded, just as it happened four years… -
back on the bus
26 Jan 2010 | 11:17 pmI don’t even know how to write what I want to say. This past weekend was rather intense. Actually there was a lot of tension leading up to this visit with Baby J’s bio-father, so it goes back farther than that. I am exhausted, relieved and still a bit anxious at the same time. Sunday afternoon, T got back on a bus to continue his travels after his brief visit with us. He was in town overnight and the hours we spent with him (three on Saturday and nearly four on Sunday) were simply intense. I feel drained of energy and yet I also feel lighter with relief that at least we made it… -
on the bus
22 Jan 2010 | 11:47 pmI realize I haven’t written much about Baby J’s biological father. This is quite intentional, for good reason — partly because it is not really my story to tell and partly because it is challenging to discuss the rest without saying too much. I’ve alluded to difficulties in the past that are not for the telling. Suffice it to say that our relationship with Baby J’s biological father T was strained from the start. We never had the opportunity to build a strong foundation with him. He was unavailable in every possible way. It has seemed a bit strange to have such a… -
how do you do it?
14 Jan 2010 | 11:11 pmWell, my friends, returning to work is sort of kicking my ass. While I normally don’t like to drone on about all the things I’m doing instead of blogging, I’ll simply say that I am struggling to find time for much of anything. I’m only working part time, about 25 hours/week or so — two full days in the office and two half days at home. But add a few hours in commute time to the days in the office, and subtract a whole lot of time trying to tend to Baby J at home and you’ve got a crazy schedule for someone working only part time. At home, I’m… -
2009: a year of transformation (after a decade of crap)
31 Dec 2009 | 8:41 amAh, the obligatory year end post. I’ll try to make it quick though, so you can get back to your cocktail. Even though it’s still morning here. Oh hell, just pull up a chair and toss one back and let us bid farewell to the whole decade. Fare thee well decade of ’00s — don’t let the door slam your fat ass on the way out! Last year as I bid farewell to 2008, I realized what a striking year it had been. But as I have an annoying tendency to do, as I did when I bid farewell to 2007, let’s go back even further, shall we? How about a little context. How about the…
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my sanctuary
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# 230
29 Jan 2010 | 8:34 pmYou’ll find me here… Everyone is welcome, can’t wait to rejoin the ‘real’ world! -
# 229
27 Jan 2010 | 12:30 amI’ve decided that it’s high time I rejoin the blog world. I miss it, I miss all of you. I read blogs constantly so even though I haven’t commented, I’m here, lurking in the background. I need to come back. I miss you all. I’m creating a new blog. One without a password. Soon. Very soon. *smooches* -
Protected: # 228
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Reproductive Jeans
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Thrice as Nice
8 Feb 2010 | 9:00 pmAs I drove Mook to the airport this morning, I said:"Do you realize I've been blogging for THREE years?!"We both smiled in a moment of silence, and let my statement sink in--because we both remembered where we were literally and mentally this time three years ago...***********I remember sitting in our blue rocking chair in our office/craft room, asking Mook what he thought about me blogging about the male factor diagnosis we had received days earlier.He sort of mumbled,"You mean like writing an online diary for everyone else to read?"And my response was, "Well yeah, but I hope to find other… -
Your First Year
4 Feb 2010 | 8:47 pmMy sweet O-man,Where to even begin.You came into our lives at 12:56 pm on February 4, 2009 and my life has never been the same...I will never forget seeing you for the first time--hearing the cry that meant you were announcing yourself to the world!There are too many emotions swirling around in my heart and head to get it all out in a post this evening...but know this: your first birthday was spent with family, great friends, laughter, a few tears from Mommy--all happy!--and your first experience with a cupcake!Happy 1stBirthday, my miracle boy. I love you more than you'll ever know."I'm… -
Perfect Moment Monday: Goodbye January
31 Jan 2010 | 8:20 pmThe month of January has not been a very pleasant one in my blogging past.I started this blog in February of '07, so I missed out writing in January that year. But trust me, that may be my least favorite January in recent years: it was when we got our male factor diagnosis.Then in January of '08, Mook and I hit a pretty rough patch in our relationship--we spent time in counseling and needed to regroup as a couple. There were some really dark days in that month, and I am very thankful we came out stronger because of it.And of course last year, January of '09, I spent a majority of the time on… -
Sitting
26 Jan 2010 | 1:51 pmI'm currently sitting on my kitchen floor.No, really, I am.....see:I did the act of sitting, because I needed to retighten the straps on O-mans booster chair since it came with us on our Travelin' Circus journey last week. And now that the task is done, I haven't found the motivation to move just yet....Maybe it's because I see all the dog hair on the floor and know that as soon as I stand up, I'll want to sweep.Maybe it's because I like the feeling of the cold floor on my bum.Maybe it's because I have been going full steam ahead since returning home, O-man is napping, and I'm just… -
You see, its like this...
22 Jan 2010 | 8:49 amI just never liked girls.Let me be more clear--I never have had a "girlfriend"---yes, I can proudly admit that I find Ashley Judd super delicious, and Mook would be in big trouble if her car broke down outside my house...But the girls I am talking about are the home-girls, the BFF's, the girls you bought the heart necklace for--you gave her half, you kept the other half.I just never got close to girls growing up. I always had more guy friends--I wasn't a tomboy per se, didnt really play that many sports, or enjoy "guy stuff"-- I just felt very intimidated around other girls--the drama, the…
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Sell Crazy Someplace Else
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Keyser Snowsze
9 Feb 2010 | 9:06 amThe title was my favorite name in the running for the current snowstorms. I think it was beaten out by Snowpacolypse or Snowmageddon, but I like the goth feel of Keyser Snowsze. ______________________________ I'm in my office today for the first time since last Wednesday. It was really nice to have a break, but I had to get out of the house to get away from JD (who is still home from work). We got a little over 29 inches by us, which I (90% me, 10% JD) shoveled off of my car and parking spot pretty quickly. I went out for about 30 minutes on Saturday and then did another 45… -
Rainbow Connection
1 Feb 2010 | 8:15 amA bunch of items, none of them long enough for a single post... -There's a rainbow on my living room ceiling. The rainbow is cast from a glass sculpture that JD and I purchased on our honeymoon. I know that rainbows are just scientific phenomena, but they always give me hope. I wish that this rainbow would be a sign for me. -JD started a new job last week. The commute is much better and we hope it will be a good fit for him. JD's biggest complaint is that he has to wear a tie most days. As a programmer, he usually was not expected to be dressed so… -
Flickering Flame
22 Jan 2010 | 12:35 pmMy Fairy Godmother (my therapist of many years) is dying. The results of the biopsy of the liver tumor are inconclusive, but that doesn't matter. She went into the hospital around New Year's and her salt and potassium levels were very low. She is now at hospice where they are trying to keep her comfortable as she is in severe pain. I have known her since I was 16 - half my life. I am truly blessed to have had her in my life and I am who I am today in large part because of her influence. I am alive today because of her. I miss her already. I knew that this… -
Quo Vadis
21 Jan 2010 | 1:42 pmYesterday, JD and I met with the RE for our Quo Vadis meeting, aka "What's Next, Doc?" My feelings on are all over the place. I feel sad that we're even in this position (i.e., infertility in general and, specifically, about to embark on dIUI #6). I feel angry that it's taking so long. I feel positive that my doc is responding to us and our concerns. I feel frustrated with my inability to stay away from gluten. I feel embarassed that I have such a struggle with taking my meds. I feel happy that I have rocked my Wii Fit Plus every… -
My MIL thinks this is the East Building
16 Jan 2010 | 12:12 pm
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Outlandish Notions
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2 minute post
31 Jan 2010 | 7:20 amI have 2 minutes to breathe while the coffee perks and the boys are upstairs asleep. So the last few weeks, in a nutshell: 2 month checkup results: Mini got his first round of shots, we both cried. He was 25.5 in long, and 14 lb 12 oz at 12 weeks (90th percentile and 97th percentile, respectively). Manly and I also think now that he has inherited the Man’s allergy to adhesives, because he broke out in a rash on each thigh where they put band-aids over his shots. This makes me very unhappy. I went back to work full time last Monday. Mini is now attending the daycare at the… -
Unthinkable
15 Jan 2010 | 12:58 pmRight after I had Mini, I found out that my coworker’s wife was expecting. This baby would have made number 5 in their house, and I knew she had lost another child at about 6 months along. I got a call today to let me know she lost this baby as well. She was at about 5 months. My office friend (who is also friends with her) told me she found out at home when she couldn’t find the heartbeat with the doppler. She’s going to have to go and and deliver the baby this week. I can’t imagine what she’s going through right now, but my heart breaks for her. Posted in… -
So we’ve decided…
9 Jan 2010 | 7:24 pm…that we didn’t actually have a baby. Instead, Manly and my genetic offspring seems to be a moose, or perhaps a giraffe. He was 10 weeks old on Thursday. I just pulled all of the 0-3 month clothing out of the dresser and started doing inventory on the 3-6 month stuff we bought. Of which, the footed sleepers only have about 1/2″ to an 1″ of growth room. We’ve returned a half dozen outfits that we were given that he outgrew before I could get the tags off of them. If my measurements are right, he’s already about 25″ long. So much for… -
Delurkification
5 Jan 2010 | 6:09 amThank Mel for reminding me this year I know a lot of you who drop by from your comments and blogs, but I’d love to get a headcount of who actually still drops by my little popsicle stand. Go forth and delurk in the comments! Bueller? Posted in metameta -
Friendship
22 Dec 2009 | 4:49 amLast night I was talking with Becky on the phone. Our conversation was interspersed with me shifting the phone because Mini was having a velcro day where he wanted to be held continuously, and her breaking up fights/pulling kids off of play kitchens/helping the little one get out of the chair. Finally, at the point where Genevieve was screaming because Braden hit her with a toy and Mini was working himself up because I was not paying attention to him (even though I was carrying him in the calm-the-baby-down-walk-through-the-house), Becky sighed and said, “Did you ever think that WE…
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Production, Not Reproduction
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A Blanket Apology
8 Feb 2010 | 4:13 amTo anyone who has emailed me, asked a question in the comments, or even just stopped by here expecting to, you know, read something in the last few weeks: my apologies. Life is bursting at the seams right now. Some happy reasons, some busy-at-work reasons, some blah reasons. (Check the timestamp on this post if you dare. I'm up with two coughing, wheezy kids and haven't been to sleep yet.) The busy-ness of life ebbs and flows and right now it's all flow. All that to say that I'm not getting much time to keep up with my lovely internet friends. Or clean our house--although that… -
Medius Aevum
31 Jan 2010 | 5:02 pmToday is my birthday! I turned 35, thus joining the 35-54 year old demographic group. Next step: senior citizen-hood. This morning we took the kids out to brunch at our neighborhood diner and a walk by the river. Now I get to curl up with a cup of tea and a new book (reading in the middle of the day!) before dinner at my parents' house. I've been remembering back to ten years ago a lot this week. Twenty-five was the closing year of a certain phase of my life in many ways. At 26 I would marry, move, return to grad school, and decide that what was looking to be a promising career… -
Open Adoption Roundtable #13
26 Jan 2010 | 7:30 amThe Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It's designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. You don't need to be part of the Open Adoption Bloggers list to participate, or even be in a traditional open adoption. If you're thinking about openness in adoption, you have a place at the table.Publish your response during the next two weeks--linking back here so we can all find one other--and leave a link to your post in the comments. If you don't blog, you can always leave your thoughts directly in… -
For This Season
25 Jan 2010 | 4:32 pmI'm pretty sure I've written before about the idea of relationships as potted plants. (Yep.) It's a simple image and goes something like this: Potting a plant takes a bit of thought and fussing the beginning. You need to select the right size pot, think about the soil mix, find just the right sunny spot for it. As it grows, you need to supply its basic needs: water it regularly, fertilize it every now and then, watch for signs it might be faltering. But for the most part, you need to let it be. Give it time to grow and thrive. If you're constantly pulling it out of the pot to study its roots,… -
Ack. Again, I Say, Ack
20 Jan 2010 | 3:26 amI seem to have run smack into some sort of giant blogging wall. A wall built out of bricks made from winter-writer's-block and too-much-going-on. Bullet points it is, then: I'm part of a small group at Big Church that meets to study justice issues. One of our most recent topics was global human trafficking and I tossed some of the current ethical challenges in international adoption into the discussion. People asked some good questions. I get used to the defensiveness that so often characterizes online discussions about adoption ethics (on all sides of the issue), but I've found that…
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Weebles Wobblog
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Perfect Moment Monday: HE WENT TO JARED'S
7 Feb 2010 | 7:00 pmPerfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between. Once a week we engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join. Details on how to participate are at the bottom of this post, complete with bloggy bling. Please visit the links of the -
Adoption Angles: My bling and my John Travolta impression
5 Feb 2010 | 6:00 amMy apologies if you don't have an hour, because watching this video is the only way the title is going to make sense to you. This week I was the guest on Melissa's Adoption Angles. We played to a large audience (wow, Melissa, well done!) which was delightfully involved and curious about creating a child-centered open adoption. We had sound difficulties for the first 15 minutes, which was when I -
Show & Tell: Science project
3 Feb 2010 | 4:00 pmSubtitle: How I ended up on the N0Fly List. Reed, Grade 1, had his first Minds at Work Exhibition. It was 99% self-directed (I insisted he change his focus from "weapons" to "military weapons") and 99% completed by Reed himself (I wrote the answers he gathered through an interview with his uncle so he could copy them; I googled for images). He was to choose a topic and run with it, resulting in -
Tune in Wednesday; I'm on MomTV
2 Feb 2010 | 6:29 pmI'm going to be on Adoption Angles Wednesday evening (tomorrow!) at 7 pm MST (that's 9 pm to you east coasters, 6 pm to you west coasters, and 8 pm to you centralites). Host Melissa has told me all I need is a webcam and a Merlot. I'm all set as far as she's concerned, but I also think I'd better come up with something to say. My topic is open adoption. Is there anything specific you'd like me -
Perfect Moment Monday: Good hair day
31 Jan 2010 | 7:00 pmPerfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between. Once a week we engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join. Details on how to participate are at the bottom of this post, complete with bloggy bling. Please visit the links of the
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Welcome To The Dollhouse
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Rocking My Camera-Part II
6 Feb 2010 | 11:08 amThis is a nice photo, right? A portion of the New York skyline taken at dawn from Jersey City. Would it surprise you to know that I took it from my hotel room one morning? Nah, at this point, probably not. OK, but might it surprise you to know that I took this lovely shot, not with my Nikon, but with my iPhone camera? Ah hah…I might have raised a few eyebrows with that one, right? How can a crappy cell phone camera take such a great shot? Well the truth is that under the right conditions and with a little knowledge, you can truly rock your cell phone camera. I know, I know…it goes… -
Scott Taper Ain’t The Boss of Me
29 Jan 2010 | 8:25 pmThere seems to be a full moon tonight. I know that this was supposed to bring out werewolves and the crazy folk, but is it also a jackass attractant? I know. You’re wondering where’s she going with this and who the heck is Scott Taper? Well I’m getting to the former and the latter is the jackass at the center of this story. Fine, fine…I’ll spill. About a decade ago (gee, has it really been that long?) I encountered the pompous ass Scott Taper as just another name on the Black-Ivy listserv. Back when I was younger, single and childless, getting into deep… -
Conversations With Zizi: The Anatomy Lesson
21 Jan 2010 | 9:00 pmI debated with myself all day about whether or not I should write this post. Doing so would probably cement my status as a mommy blogger from hell whose kid is going to end up on some therapist’s couch. I never wanted to be that mommy blogger… I never wanted to cross that line. Yet I’m told that after circulating the Making Poopy video when she was a few months old, the kid is already doomed to a lifetime of therapy thanks to Mommy Dearest. But last night’s little exchange was just too funny for words and I’m sorry, she’ll hate me for it in a few years, but… -
Lines That Shouldn’t Be Crossed
16 Jan 2010 | 10:15 pmI opted to write the lighthearted post that I did yesterday because I wasn’t able at the time to write the real post that I needed to get out. I was a bit too busy feeling both disgusted and heartsick. This time it was me who needed to be distracted. The fact of the matter is that I’m 46 years old. No one would ever call me naïve or innocent. But I am still capable of being stunned by the displays of heartlessness we can express or show to each other as human beings. Actually no, that’s not completely accurate. The day-to-day expressions and demonstrations of hate,… -
Conversations with My Husband: #197
15 Jan 2010 | 8:40 pmThis is an actual conversation that transpired between me and my dear AdoringHusband. First let me set the scene. For about the past, oh, 17,000 years I’ve been asking AdoringHusband to clean off the top of his chest in our bedroom. In addition to the standard detritus of coins, old receipts, wrappers from cough drops, and disease-ridden balled up tissues, there were also lovely items like old lollipops, empty blister packs, wrenches and screwdrivers, and other crap that could not be identified. Somehow last Sunday night, I finally had had enough of looking at that ugly mound of stuff…
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Artificially Sweetened
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Monday Minute
25 Jan 2010 | 6:29 amBest vanity plate I’ve seen in a while: RNRACHIT Really??? -
Adoption is NOT always the answer
23 Jan 2010 | 8:36 amI am getting really fed up with the media coverage of Haiti that implies that international adoption is the best thing for Haiti since, oh I don’t know, clean water. A really good post that gets into why this is not so is here – and the author’s earlier post here. I am really pissed to hear that APs and PAPs are attacking her for what she has said. My feelings about the whole wet hot mess are very nicely summarized by PEAR here. Yes – if you were already matched with a child pre-quake and the Haitian govt has already found that the child is clear for int’l… -
We interrupt this unintentional blogging hiatus
19 Jan 2010 | 6:05 pmto say that we are OFFICIALLY HOMESTUDY READY for #2. And now we wait. p.s. And this is where I am supposed to “network” – the very word of which makes me a little queasy in the back of my mouth – and say that if you are an educator/social workie/medical/barista/works with people who might be pregnant and not interested in parenting type of person, and you would feel comfortable letting someone know that you know someone who wants to adopt… um, drop me an email or something and I will tell you more. Okay thxbai. -
Be careful what you ask
12 Nov 2009 | 7:02 amMe, somewhat anxiously: What’s that in your mouth P’ito? He, opening wide and displaying a lovely yellow thing on his tongue: It’s a booger, Mama! Me: Well, I guess that’s not a choking hazard… -
Apropos of absolutely nothing
6 Nov 2009 | 10:32 amThere seems to be something that draws unusual vanity plates to the block in front of my work. Seen in the past few months. PLZVOTE S1NG 1T HDSHRNKR SENILE1 And on a tow truck nearby: NEXT WEEK Spotted closer to home: SIDE JOB2 – makes me wonder – what is side job 1? And did side job2 pay for the car? I assume that’s the story behind the car I see parked in our neighborhood with the vanity plate PKRMONEY. What is the best vanity plate you’ve seen? What would you put on a vanity plate if you had one? (Or, what is on your vanity plate, if you’ve got one?)
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omegamom.com
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Quick update
25 Jan 2010 | 10:34 pmSince I know some of mom’s regular readers are reading, here’s a quick recap of what’s been going on: When I got here, she was not herself. She wasn’t getting enough oxygen, was very weak and tired (couldn’t walk from the front door to the kitchen), and I was very very worried. And we were sort of socked in by the weather, ugh. Some parts of Small Mountain University Town got up to five feet of snow last week! We didn’t get that much, but we did get a fair amount of soggy snow… Anyway, when we could get out easily on Saturday, I rented a car and… -
Update
22 Jan 2010 | 11:40 pmWell. When I wrote that last post, it was going to be followed up by the “And she’s all better now, whew!” post. But I had things to do that weekend, and places to go, so didn’t write. But I did notice that mom hadn’t blogged for a few days, and she hadn’t sent me any email. So I picked up the phone to call her (I previously had been calling her every day, but then thought she was better, so stopped). At which point, she asked me to come out to Arizona again, saying that things were worse. So here I am in Arizona, with mom. I managed to sneak in… -
Breathing
16 Jan 2010 | 1:44 amWhen you’re a new parent, with a small life depending on you, you find yourself doing strange things sometimes. One commonality that I’m sure my readers have experienced is how new moms and dads can find themselves stopping by their child’s bed in the night and watching—urgently, because you can’t hear the breathing and you’re afraid that something’s wrong. You wait, suspended in the moment, your anxiety ramping up, until you see the slow, gentle, up and down movement of your child’s torso in tune with her breathing, and you move on, reassured. I found myself doing… -
Welcome to the Weird Science Show!
11 Jan 2010 | 9:38 pmScience fairs will be in late March, so OmegaDad decided to get started with some experiments with the dotter. Unfortunately, the experiments are daddy’s ideas, but, hey, get the kid used to doing it, right? Firstly, she was very possessive about “MY lab!” In other words, I had to explain to her that real scientists these days were very open about their research (see PLOS) and, if they’re excited about their experiments, they’re very happy to have people in, show them around, tell them what the experiment is about, etc. Anyway. Since OmegaDad has been Doing Bread… -
A gift
8 Jan 2010 | 7:49 pmWe are home in Alaska. It has been an interesting few weeks, with its major ups and downs, which I may or may not discuss later. When we got on our flight home, OmegaDotter was more than ready to be home. I was, frankly, more than ready for OmegaDad to do some high-quality one-on-one with the dotter; she is high-maintenance at times, very touchy-feely, needing attention, bouncing, chattering, “on” all the time. I was not looking forward to six hours of her trapped in an airplane. We didn’t get a window seat. We were both very sad about this. We settled into…
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Life in the Soupbowl
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A warm soup for a cold night: French Onion Soup
8 Feb 2010 | 8:08 amThis is a recipe I borrowed from my friend Michelle. More to come about my visit with her.Until then....I made soup this last night. I'm so glad I did! I LOVE French Onion soup (and the cheese!) and love sampling it whenever I go out to eat.This was super easy to make (and I am pretending all that butter is really good for my health! LOL)Try it and see what you think- just know that there are onions, and you may also wake up like me, tasting onions (but relishing the idea of that soup for dinner).French Onion Soup Michelle says, "Oh this recipe is so yummy and easy!!!! I tend to skip the… -
A shopping Monkey Girl
7 Feb 2010 | 7:57 pmTaken with Daddy' Iphone on Saturday. Keifer girls LOVES her shopping trips, and this was from Sam' Club. Lately, it's usually been just K1 and Daddy who go to Sam's together, and enjoy shopping and food sampling to their heart's delight. However, we all went as a family, and sadly, the samples were done for the day *(boo hoo)*. Keifer still enjoyed her shopping trip and showed off her monkey climbing skills while we were deciding what size diapers to get Kyla Whitney (we decided that since she's in 3's right now, we'd get some 4's that will fit her sooner than later, and for overnights). -
Imaginary Friends (or pets)
5 Feb 2010 | 1:01 pmI knew the day would come when an imaginary friend descended upon our family. Last weekend, Keifer started dragging around the "leash" part of her puppy backpack, and calling to her imaginary dog, Tracy. I tried taking pictures of Keifer pulling Tracy around, but was met with hostile resistance. When we left for a zoo visit, Tracy was quickly forgotten at home. Poor Tracy. Her leash was left in a baby doll's bed.This AM, Tracy came back to visit Keifer, so she took her to Elaine's house. I can't wait to hear about Tracy's adventures (if she had any!). -
Hangin' out, on a Sunday afternoon......
5 Feb 2010 | 11:44 amKyla gets so frustrated when her baby apparatus block her from moving all around. I particularly enjoy right around the 40 some second mark in this video, when she tries to pick up her ball with her legs! I was giggling, calling her monkey girl inside my head, as her sissy is very proficient with her legs and feet ( much like a monkey) Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing -
And I read, read, read, and I look, look, look.....
5 Feb 2010 | 11:44 amPhoto Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing
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No swimmers in the tubes, no bun in the oven
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such a spaz
2 Feb 2010 | 6:01 pmThe pelvic ultrasound yesterday went quite well; the tech* didn't say much, but she did tell me that she didn't see any "huge cysts or anything". That didn't help ease my anxiety, though...I was picturing tumors in my uterus or bladder or colon or...well...any number of other organs in that vicinity.This afternoon I went back to the doc to get the results. Drumroll please......I'm.......about to ovulate! LOL.Yes, dear friends, I appear to be normal (at least physically, the jury is still out on the mental part). I have several follicles on each ovary, but they're all relatively small. I… -
My ovary hurts
29 Jan 2010 | 2:49 pm...or at least, I think its my ovary. Something on the left side of my girlie bits hurts. It feels much like when I was cycling and my ovaries were full of follicles. It's been going on for a few months now, but I finally went to the gyno today.He copped a feel of my girlie bits, and said that the left side feels 'thicker' than the right. A few minutes later he asked if I planned on having more kids. Hmmm...did something he felt made him think that might not be possible? Paranoid, I know.Anyway, I have a pelvic ultrasound (abnominal and transvaginal) on Monday, and a follow-up appointment on… -
random
26 Jan 2010 | 6:01 amI was going to write about my husband being a selfish ass, but he miraculously offered to take Sherbie to daycare this morning. So I'm just going to answer some random questions...but I reserve the right to go back to the topic of 'husband as a selfish ass' at any point, for any reason.How's the weight loss going?It's...uh...going, I guess. I haven't been to a single WW meeting, and I actually cancelled my online subscription. I've found that I've done WW so many times that I do pretty well tracking everything in my head. That, and its just a pain in the ass.As of Thursday (weigh-in day), I'm… -
Like a little weed
18 Jan 2010 | 7:11 pmThe little dude is FOUR MONTHS OLD! It seems like just yesterday I was hunched over the hospital bed begging for someone to shoot me.I don't really notice how big he's getting until I look back on the pictures:He's already gettin' all the chicks. ;) -
hungry girl
11 Jan 2010 | 11:34 amThe following is in reference to Weight Watchers "Stop Dieting. Start Living." tagline. They can suck it.Dear Weight Watchers,If you're 'not a diet' then why the hell am I eating like a fucking rabbit? If you weren't a diet I'm pretty sure I would be digging into the chips in the back of the pantry. Or I would have run to McD's for lunch instead of eating that lame-ass chicken sandwich on high fiber bread with the creepy low-fat cheese. Yeah, if you weren't a diet I would be savoring some chocolate right about now.Yeah, 'not a diet' my sorry fat ass.While we're at it, I have a question: do…
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a little pregnant
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Carrier smidgen
4 Feb 2010 | 8:21 amOkaybutsoIwas downtown a couple of days ago with Ben, leaving the library after story time. I stopped outside to get him into the Ergo carrier, a maneuver which, when performed solo, can, I admit, look alarming — like, drop-your-baby-on-his-head-on-the-cold-unforgiving-cobblestones alarming.... -
Chopsticks, also known as nimble lads
29 Jan 2010 | 8:32 amThere's something I don't get about the Tim Tebow story, and maybe you can help me out. In case you're not familiar with it — in case you know even less about major professional sporting events than I do, which... -
Somewhere in this post there is cake, but also angry bees
20 Jan 2010 | 8:35 amWe are so thrilled to be able to share with you that Ali McMutrie and the children from the Brebis de Saint-Michel de L’Attalaye (BRESMA) orphanage in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, arrived safely at Pittsburgh International Airport a short while ago. This... -
So close
15 Jan 2010 | 6:37 amThey were so close, this little group of Haitian orphans waiting for homes in the U.S. They'd been matched with families, hopeful couples waiting to welcome their children. People like us. And then. Their caregivers, two American women who run... -
Beezus wept
13 Jan 2010 | 10:49 amA few nights ago right after Charlie's bedtime, I took to the sofa for a long evening of loafing. I'd gotten everything situated just so when I realized I didn't have a book. Charlie's copy of Ramona the Pest was...
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Barren Mare
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Indiana Jones does the nursery run
4 Feb 2010 | 1:16 pmWinter. I am so totally ready for it to be over. All the more unfortunate considering that it is only the beginning of February. I realised earlier today that my impatience with this particular season is less to do with... -
Good news and bad news, in the mixed nut variety pack
26 Jan 2010 | 2:54 pmBotany has a disgusting, hacking cough. Fortunately, despite frequent nocturnal spluttering, it doesn't seem to be disrupting her night time sleep too much. I, on the other hand, am continually awoken by what sounds like a small dragon in its... -
As Stevie Wonder would say, try to see things my way
19 Jan 2010 | 2:04 pmAfter I wrote my post last Sunday, Knox and I went out for a long walk. I immediately felt much better afterwards. I forget sometimes the negative effect of staying indoors day after day, never even seeing what pitifully weak... -
In the big scheme of things
14 Jan 2010 | 12:55 pmGiven the ongoing discussion in the comments of the recent Knox-Botany-E. text message drama, I'm thinking I might say just a bit more about it after all, once I get a chance to put my thoughts down. But first: Since... -
My big holiday
10 Jan 2010 | 1:39 pmI somehow managed to end the year with a lot of holiday leave to use up from work, so I took a few days off and put Botany into nursery as usual. The last time I did this was before...
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Barren Mare
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Indiana Jones does the nursery run
4 Feb 2010 | 1:16 pmWinter. I am so totally ready for it to be over. All the more unfortunate considering that it is only the beginning of February. I realised earlier today that my impatience with this particular season is less to do with... -
Good news and bad news, in the mixed nut variety pack
26 Jan 2010 | 2:54 pmBotany has a disgusting, hacking cough. Fortunately, despite frequent nocturnal spluttering, it doesn't seem to be disrupting her night time sleep too much. I, on the other hand, am continually awoken by what sounds like a small dragon in its... -
As Stevie Wonder would say, try to see things my way
19 Jan 2010 | 2:04 pmAfter I wrote my post last Sunday, Knox and I went out for a long walk. I immediately felt much better afterwards. I forget sometimes the negative effect of staying indoors day after day, never even seeing what pitifully weak... -
In the big scheme of things
14 Jan 2010 | 12:55 pmGiven the ongoing discussion in the comments of the recent Knox-Botany-E. text message drama, I'm thinking I might say just a bit more about it after all, once I get a chance to put my thoughts down. But first: Since... -
My big holiday
10 Jan 2010 | 1:39 pmI somehow managed to end the year with a lot of holiday leave to use up from work, so I took a few days off and put Botany into nursery as usual. The last time I did this was before...
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Flotsam
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And So It Goes (0, 1, 2).
8 Feb 2010 | 5:02 pm -
Maybe if She Posted More Often, She Wouldn’t Have Usen 1400 Words in One Entry.
27 Jan 2010 | 8:49 pmThose of you who follow me on Twitter know that we had a spot of excitement this past weekend, including a baby with a fever of 107, an ambulance ride, and a febrile seizure. It was…well. I think it was the most afraid I have ever been, including all 96 days in the NICU. Apparently these things happen, and it was just a small, fierce virus, but if some Friday you are thinking to yourself “gee, wouldn’t it be funny if my two-year old had an absence seizure while her brain began to poach?” the answer is NO. Also, if you are a NICU mother who stole retained one small oxygen tank (Just in… -
Mirror.
14 Jan 2010 | 10:37 amTwo years ago today, I left work around noon. I didn’t know it, but it was my last day. I drove to my doctor’s office and chatted with the nurse while she slid an ultrasound transducer along the jutting camel’s hump of my belly. Then there was the doctor: You can see here, he said, pointing, the fetus is demised. Two years ago today, I called Scott and told him to come, because one of the babies had died. After I hung up I realized I hadn’t said which. It has been two years since we lost Ames—or, more accurately, since we discovered that he had slipped away from… -
Seasonal, Belated.
6 Jan 2010 | 6:45 pmThe holidays were lovely, here. I mean, it doesn’t get much better than a baby in fake hair, does it? I had Christmas Eve pasta at my brother’s/mother’s house, alternately gazing up at the giant tree festooned with familiar ornaments and watching my daughter discover our old wind-up toys beneath the branches. Simone developed a bizarre obsession with Ray Charles, and worked on her dancing (adding a slow, deliberate twirl.) Having remembered a tearful and unattractively petulant pre-Christmas screed about how there wasn’t ANYTHING I wanted except more time in the day and a… -
It’s a Small, Small World (Especially if you Never Leave your Apartment.)
23 Dec 2009 | 11:30 amThose of you who were reading four years ago may remember my first idea for a reality show. Long before “Sexy Pioneer Times” and “Red Hott” (sexy communist collective, remember? From each according to his abilities…to each according to his needs…), there was “Writing with the Stars.” Now, for some reason it didn’t catch on, but I thought that you might like a little glimpse into the Glamourous Life of a Writer, even if I don’t have Mindy Cohn or a lesser Kardashian learning the trade alongside me. Also, this is an easy way to take a…
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Julia
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Everyday Is Like Sunday
7 Feb 2010 | 11:57 amI have been adding piecemeal to a post for the past week but when I went to finally put it up last night it was swallowed whole by the internet. At the time I was irked but in retrospect it's... -
Mostly Cricket, Briefly
26 Jan 2010 | 7:05 pmCaroline had her two year check at the pediatrician today. Originally I took them to these appointments together but after the last one during which Edward stood on a chair and flicked the lights off and on while Caroline had... -
Timely
19 Jan 2010 | 12:32 pmLately Edward has turned peevish. Is this what is meant by the Twos comma Terrible? We skipped this stage with Patrick (although we are deep in the Sevens, which can be uniquely annoying in its own right) and I had... -
They... WHAT?
10 Jan 2010 | 8:44 amPatrick's school called on Friday. When it comes to inducing parental panic the sight of one's elementary school in caller ID is second only to that of a sheriff's deputy coming up the front walk and the fact that it...
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Serenity Now!
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Racing.
8 Feb 2010 | 7:15 amMy last race was in September, when my good friend D came up to visit and I managed to hoodwink her into running a 5k. And that race wasn’t my best, not by a longshot. Though I finished officially at 32:47, it was a TOUGH one for me. I walked a lot more than I should have. I didn’t eat enough before the run, so I was tired and sluggish and pretty much just wanted to quit. I hadn’t run a race since. Until yesterday. Mind you, thus far training for my half marathon is going pretty well. I have days that are really HARD. But I also have days where, as I’m running, I can… -
Moments.
4 Feb 2010 | 5:02 am3:55am. O is crying. For the past few nights, he’s cried in his sleep, but needs no help from J or I to get back to sleep. He settles relatively quickly, but it’s not long before he’s crying again. I go into his room, where he’s under his blankets, crying into his mattress. He lifts his head, and I pick him up, blankets and all. We go downstairs to get some milk. As it’s warming, he looks at me and whispers “dark.” We go back upstairs with the warm milk and sit in his rocking chair. He sucks the milk down, then rests his head on my chest. And we rock. -
Wordless Wednesday: Problem-Solving.
3 Feb 2010 | 4:46 amClick here for more WW images. -
Toddlers vs. Patience (Score: O=1, Serenity 0).
1 Feb 2010 | 7:52 amIt was one of those weekends. Where I was too low on patience to continuously redirect, too tired to come up with new! fun! ways! to keep O from trying to pull out the socket covers or throwing cars or climbing up on everything to turn the lights on and off. J was out yesterday, test driving new cars, since his 12 year old truck has been BEGGING us to put it out to pasture. (This weekend the poor old beast not only popped a spark plug but also decided that radiator fluid was non-essential. Nice SLOW leak, thankfully, but a leak nonetheless.) And so I was on single parent duty. During the two… -
GOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!
28 Jan 2010 | 7:17 amTwo words: GOAL WEIGHT. As of this morning, I am 1/2 a pound UNDER my goal weight. Which means this. I have lost 20lbs from January of last year – and 15lbs since November. And it’s funny. I have a hard time REMEMBERING that I’ve lost that much weight. Because every time I get on the scale, I expect to see a number 10lbs heavier than I am right now. When I end up at the gym because I can’t run outside, I actually do a double take in the mirrors because I don’t actually recognize myself. And whenever I go shopping, I still estimate myself as two sizes bigger than…
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So Close
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The Fockers do payback time
7 Feb 2010 | 12:57 amIf I think back to when I was a teenager, I want to cringe. What we kids put our poor parents through. That awkward stage when you think you know everything, when you think you can do anything and yet you can't. You want to travel the world on great adventures! You want to pack your bags, shake off all responsibilities and travel to foreign lands, far away from your family who are telling you to be sensible, to look after yourself and not take any chances.Well my parents have clearly decided it is payback time and are going through a second teenagehood. Much to my GREAT dismay!!! -
Toy guns
3 Feb 2010 | 11:30 pmWhen Sister Mel had her first child 13 years ago, she was quite an ethno-bongo (tree-hugger / granola type). She said that her son would not play with guns and there would be no toy guns in the house. However, it wasn't long before he was fashioning make-believe guns out of old marijuana branches and shooting pow-pow at imaginary baddies. I have much lower standards and looser morals than my sister and the toy gun thing was never an issue for me. I have never specifically gone out to buy toy guns for my kids, but along with pirate masks and eye patches, they have also chosen toy… -
An incident occurred in 1998
1 Feb 2010 | 11:12 amI got a note in my postbox today that is just.... words fail me. If you live in South Africa you must be saying WTF!! This must surely be a typo? An 'incident' occurred in 1998?????? WTF! An incident like this occurs every 19.98 SECONDS in South Africa! Our security estate had an 'incident' in 1998! Those who don't live in South Africa won't appreciate how funny (in a sad way) this note is. Look, it's a terrible incident. A terrible story. But when you live in a country with one of the highest crime levels in the world and where things like this…
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Thalia's fertility journey
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Losses big and small
7 Feb 2010 | 3:38 pmTomorrow I leave on my first business trip in about 9 months. Junior is 7 months old. I am still breastfeeding first thing in the morning, after his lunchtime nap, at bedtime, and through the night (more on that another time). I plan to give up the afternoon feed this week given that from the week after next I'll be back at work full time. Dropping feeds has been hard, my boobs have felt pretty buzzy and I've had several leaks. While this makes me feel happy about my breastfeeding success, it is hard to be experiencing it just when... -
Pob snippets number 7
25 Jan 2010 | 10:17 amScene: I'm in our bed in the early morning, feeding Junior. H is upstairs getting Pob up. I hear loud screams. Then Pob appears in the door of our room: Pob: I was crying! Thalia: Yes I heard you. Do you know why you were crying? Pob: I lost my dummies. My dummies were on the floor and that's the reason I was making lots of noise. __________________________ Scene: H is away so I'm on my own with the two children in the morning. Pob wakes before I've had a chance to go downstairs and get her milk. So I... -
High on the list of things I wish I'd known earlier...
20 Jan 2010 | 11:56 amI am still pumping. I only pump now after dinner, and for most of the last two months that's meant pumping every hour on the hour for 4 hours, for 15-20 minutes at a time. Its not awful but somewhat limiting and I know H is a bit sick of seeing my boobs get pummelled all evening. By pumping this long each evening I was able to get about 150mls or so (5oz) which saw me through most of the supplementing I was still doing, but meant that I didn't have enough for a full bottle for the feeds I... -
Not the birthday post I intended
13 Jan 2010 | 3:07 amBabies don't care, do they? They don't care if you are vomiting copiously from food poisoning, or knackered because your toddler has molars coming in, or if it's 4am and not a good time for a baby to do a projectile poo that necessitates an entire clothing change. And they certainly are no respecters of Mummy's birthday. Come sun or showers or the two inches of snow we had this morning (yes I know for most of the Northern Americas this is not at all unusual but in the UK it means EVERYTHING STOPS as two of my good friends... -
Since you asked
7 Jan 2010 | 3:18 pmBoth our digital SLR camera and our video camera, and a fancy pants zoom lens that was attached to the former, got stolen at the end of November, so we are missing photos for most of November (stolen with the cameras) and December (while we figured out the insurance and what camera to buy). But here are a couple from a professional photographer who was at a party I took the children to back on 31 October.
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Uppercase Woman
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Blissdom
5 Feb 2010 | 9:04 amSo, yesterday I got into a tiny, itsy, teeny plane. Then I flew to Nashville, Tennessee. I hopped into a massive shuttle bus (seriously, it was bigger than the plane) and drove twelve minutes (passing the Grand Ol' Opry on the way, which gave me goosebumps; I'm a classic country fan). Then we arrived at the biggest hotel I've ever seen, the Gaylord Opryland Resort. I check in, and then I walk approximately four miles to my room. On the way, I pass the gardens. The INDOOR gardens. Then I passed another garden. Then I crossed the river. The INDOOR river. The one that has a Riverboat you… -
Embarrassed and Ashamed
3 Feb 2010 | 11:04 amI just left my new dentist's office. A lovely place, efficient and organized. I cracked a tooth last week while eating hard stale Christmas candy. It doesn't hurt, at all, which is odd, but not a day after I cracked it I started experiencing intense pain on the other side of my mouth. Thanks to a couple of x-rays, I now know that I have two large cavities, one in the same tooth on each side. The decay is bad enough that when you combine it with my unfortunate tooth grinding/clenching issue, it caused the one tooth to crack and is causing the pain on the opposite side.I've been managing the… -
Fear and Nightmares
1 Feb 2010 | 7:12 amLast night I got trapped in one of those horrible dreams. We'd finally gotten too far behind financially, and we lost the house. Officially homeless, at first we landed in a shady motel, with Tori and the dog. But we couldn't stay; officials were on to our location, and they were going to take Tori away, so we ran. We ran from location to location, always with them on our heels, ready to take Tori away. At one point, someone stole our bag of stuff, leaving us with nothing.It was motherfucking horrible. I still have a horrid sick feeling in my gut about it.*This next part is going to be me… -
That Tim Tebow Ad
28 Jan 2010 | 7:47 pmI missed Blog for Choice Day last week. Just too many balls in the air. But then I started hearing about Tim Tebow and the anti-choice ad he's starring in that will run during the Super Bowl. I don't like football. I've never made a secret of that. I generally dislike sports, and find them to be a waste of time. But I've gotten more tolerant over the years, and I even allow Charlie to watch the occasional Eagles game when I'm in the room now. But overall, I still think the whole hoopla surrounding things like the ads that run during the Super Bowl is completely and utterly uninteresting. I'm… -
Business Update
27 Jan 2010 | 11:28 amSo Monday night I got the stomach bug. Most bizarre thing ever; from 10pm to 3am I was vomiting and had horrid, horrid, HORRID stomach pain and then... it just stopped. Yesterday I felt fine, even managed to hop up to NYC for a speaking gig with the awesome folks at BabyBites (and seriously, Manhattan women are, like, all beautiful, well put together, and universally accomplished and ambitious. I was all like, "Yeah, I'm a mommy blogger?" and they were like, "I owned the universe and totally kicked its ass." Not like I was intimidated or anything. Heh.). But this morning? Not so much. I guess…
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Busted Babymaker
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Does it ever get better?
6 Feb 2010 | 7:23 pmWe just looked through the Doodle boxes and at their pictures and the pain is raw as ever. In fact, I think it's worse now, having Toodle. When I imagine what it would have been like to see them grow up I have a benchmark, imagine holding them I know what they would feel like.To others who have lost babies - someday, does it get easier or hurt less? In our letter we wrote to them in their scrapbook, I said that we hoped to one day be able to remember them fondly with love and not have it overshadowed by sadness. Was that just incredibly naive?Yes, I know we have our "happy again" with having… -
Mission Aborted
25 Jan 2010 | 7:56 amHe’s been getting better at going to sleep but I think we’re going to put the “Shuffle” on hold since he seems like he’s getting sicker again, poor guy. Saturday night he slept for almost 3 hours before waking but when he woke DH didn’t have the patience to redo it and brought him to bed. Then last night he actually went to sleep without too much trouble – DH did it while I showered and said he whined (not really crying) on and off for 10 minutes and then fell asleep. But he woke an hour and a half later to a horrible coughing fit and when we tried to sooth without picking up he… -
My Confession...
23 Jan 2010 | 6:44 pmWe've started attempting sleep training. It's not something I'm proud of, and honestly, on a biological/evolutionary level I don't believe in it (see below), but something had to give. I never wanted to "train" my sweet baby, I would love to just let him sleep where, when and how he wants to, but he sleeps less and less each day and it's nearing a breaking point -particularly with me back at work. I also constantly recited "never say never" when the topic came up, so at least no one can call me a hypocrite!He went from a great sleeper (putting himself to sleep, rare night wakings, et cetera)… -
Reason # 2,041 I'm a subpar mom...
21 Jan 2010 | 7:16 pmToday at Music Together class a three year old boy pointed at Toodle and yelled (for the whole class to hear) "he has a booger!"......but this was no mere booger. This was a giant, fluorescent, viscous mudslide making it's way to his mouth. The kid (mine) looked like he'd had his upper lip paintballed.Yep, I'm the mom who (a) takes a baby with a runny nose to class anyways (if I refused to take him anywhere every time he had a runny nose we'd be quarantined until April), and (b) doesn't even wipe said runny nose often enough to prevent skeeving out other kids. In my defense, he screams bloody… -
Note to self...
16 Jan 2010 | 7:56 pmWhen one has a child that sleeps until 6:30 am on a GOOD day, and normally closer to 5:30, it might not be the wisest decision to stay up till midnight catching up on Jersey Shore......and that's "the situation".
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The Twinkies
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Today’s newborn made me want t…
9 Feb 2010 | 7:42 amToday’s newborn made me want to have another baby – so sweet! He never slept but he SMILED at me for 2 hours! #fb -
What They Look Like Today
8 Feb 2010 | 12:53 pm -
I am early for pre-school pick…
8 Feb 2010 | 8:40 amI am early for pre-school pick up because the post office was actually efficient today. LLL exhibitor registration sent in along with film. -
And, yes, I just went from a b…
6 Feb 2010 | 4:10 pmAnd, yes, I just went from a business promotion to talking about potty training failure in under 5 minutes. Such is a window on my life. -
Child has been told he can’t g…
6 Feb 2010 | 4:09 pmChild has been told he can’t go to summer baseball camp unless he stops pooping his pants. It’s my last, best bribe/threat.
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soulbliss
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hello, i am...
8 Feb 2010 | 6:52 pmHello I am Soul and and I am 9 months now (Feb 4th). I weigh just about 17 pounds and I am pretty darn adorable. At 9 months and 1 day I began to walk on my own without holding anything. Here are some other things about me. I love to eat things that are not necessarily food. I make my mama laugh often but at times I scare the patootie out of her.I like to eat food now as well. More and more kinds too. Despite Mama wanting to wait until I am one I decided to eat earlier like I crawled earlier. I eat whole foods only. Today I found out I LOVE pesto with my avocado. I also love my mama's… -
our unschooling and learning...
17 Jan 2010 | 6:04 pmSoul today, taken with corn starch all over her face. She is on the cusp of walking. She is standing for prolonged periods balancing without holding anything. She is starting to try to walk and walks everywhere holding on. It will be days or weeks. She is not yet 9 months old. She can climb stairs with terrifying speed as well. She is currently 16.6 pounds and 26.5 inches tall. A wee thing to me. She is precious.K77 asked me about our homeschooling stuff in my last post so I am family getting to writing on that. We are doing primarily unschooling in our home. I was a great rote learner in… -
new year happy...
7 Jan 2010 | 4:48 pmSo Christmas was lovely. New Year's was also very nice. I am at moments taken aback by how truly fortunate I am. I did a toast with my family this year and sobbed my way through it thanking Bliss and Lu for their patience and support and love in helping me finally get Soul in mine and our lives. It was so deeply felt, all the struggles, all the heartbreak and pain and all the emotional hell through so many years.She is so truly my Soul. She just has me utterly besotted. She is funny and clever and so smart it is frightening. She turned 8 months this week and she is trying to walk. She has… -
day late...
22 Dec 2009 | 6:41 pmHappy SolsticeHappy HolidaysFrom Our Lovely Home In Our Lovely New CountryCanada! -
looking for...
5 Dec 2009 | 8:55 pmOK, I am putting out there that I am looking for wool soaker longies. Specifically I am trying to find a gently used Disana longie or an Aristocrat longie or a Babyology longie. If anyone has one for sale please let me know. I cannot afford new at this time but eBay has very little. Soul is really only doing them and I have only one Babyoloy longie to it is getting a LOT of use.Anyhow I thought I would see if anyone has any. I also could barter some all-in-ones or pocket diapers for them if interested.More soon plus pics I swear!!!!Quick business update, we will close down the truck next…
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Certainly Not Cool Enough To Blog
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It doesn't matter how gentle you are, Dr.
22 Jan 2010 | 5:11 amI think it's safe to say that nobody likes the dentist. But I've found an interesting challenge in dentistry these days. Let me backtrack...I had braces when I was 12. And before the braces, four molar extractions. All at the same time. Which resulted in a low grade fever and a bloody, drooling mess of a girl. After that, followed by the agony of a year of orthodontic torture in the form of regular brace tightening (which, I'm positive, is some modern relative of medieval torture), there was very little a dentist could do to scare me.I laughed in the face of the buzzing drill. I scoffed at… -
Guilty
11 Jan 2010 | 2:45 pmIt takes so much energy to chase away the unfounded guilt that I still occasionally find lurking in my head.I've worked hard to distinguish unfounded guilt from real guilt, so much so that now I can feel it. I know it by its weight, and height, and breadth. I can actually feel it taking up space. In my neck. In my shoulders. On my back.Today I made my Mother cry. Now, in my defense, it doesn't take much to make my mother cry. She is one of those people whose protective armor is about as strong as cheap cling wrap. And with good reason. She has lived a difficult life in many ways, and is… -
Twenty
6 Jan 2010 | 7:19 amThe other night I was thinking about writing a "benefits of living a childless life" list, because one point popped into my head and I thought if I concentrated hard enough, more would follow.The part of me that works hard to please everyone and piss off no one (must be liked; above all else, must. be. liked.) worries that this will sound like a big vat of whiny sour grapes at best, and smugly bitter at worst.But the part of me that struggles daily to come to terms with this unplanned life is shouting louder today, so here goes:1. We can (and do) venture out at all hours to wander through the… -
Since you asked
1 Jan 2010 | 9:31 pmI generally don't directly address comments here, for no other reason than it feels kind of strange in some way - like we should be stepping into another room and talking privately, even if the conversation isn't something that actually needs to be private.But in lieu of actually having a room to step into...Alex, thank you for your comment. I do understand that you meant no harm, and that you're simply puzzled by my desire for a child and my unwillingness to take additional steps to have one, biologically or otherwise.The simple answer is: you can't always get what you want. And you have to… -
The truth
28 Dec 2009 | 10:27 amMy Beloved and I were out for a very chilly walk this morning, and while navigating icy spots along the trail on which we were plodding, it dawned on me that we are very much alone. In circumstance, I mean.Amongst our closest circle of friends and family, we are a complete oddity. Within that circle there have been probably 10 children born since Thomas died. And two more are expected in 2010. And outside that circle? Countless births. If you include Facebook friends and neighbours, the number probably rockets into the 20s or 30s, if not more. Easily.And we're still just the two of us. Always…
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I Won't Fear Love
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Grief, changes
2 Feb 2010 | 12:44 pmHeading towards the first anniversary, I said we were not the cake and candles type of people. Yeah, go ahead, cue the laugh track. Last year Monkey changed her mind from previously conceived cupcakes to brownies sort of last minut-ish. Specifically so that we wouldn't have to make frosting. This year she insisted on frosting, to write his name with, and the date. And candles. (We didn't buy these candles for the occasion-- they were left from one of Monkey's birthdays. And yet, here it is-- happy birthday on A's cake. Um, actually, Monkey's reaction merits a longer description. I'll be back… -
Here
30 Jan 2010 | 11:03 amIt's here. Three years. Death today, birth tomorrow. This order of things is the reality of our everyday life, something that just is. But on the page like this, in one sentence, it seems kinda crazy, doesn't it? I am here too. I expected, when I wrote that last post, that between then and now I would have a lot to say. And I did. I just didn't get to say much of it. Some of what it was I might try to say still. Most is gone, struggled through and dealt with, probably messier than if I'd had that chance to write at the time, but gone nonetheless. We've been walking through significant dates… -
Seasonal
9 Dec 2009 | 4:32 pmIt's that time of the year again. Holiday season and the beginning of my anniversary season. My season of whole numbers and visceral memories. My season of longing. Today I am over at Glow in the Woods, offering a place to sit for a while and asking how everyone is. Tell me, if you would. Some images from last season (and my first attempt at a virtual collage-- whatdayathink?). And yes, if you looked on Glow, these are the same images in a different layout. -
Where the pink elephants roam
29 Nov 2009 | 12:25 pmThe last week has been such whirlwind that it's hard to believe it's been only the one week since we said our goodbyes by the ocean shore and Niobe and I headed back from whence we came scant 37 hours earlier. I sit now by a different, much warmer, shore of the same ocean, marvelling still at all that we packed into those 37 hours. Back in college I spent some of my now-fondly-remembered time, and a good deal of brainpower too, trying to figure out just where that treasure was buried or who was really a well-disguised alien. Or, in other, more mundane, words playing live action role playing… -
Long time
21 Nov 2009 | 2:06 pmSo... ahem... it's been a while. A long while, in fact. Three months and three days. Do I have an excuse? A boatload of them, actually. Not that anyone cares, of course, but it was mostly about working a whole lot, being sick, rinsing and repeating. The point, though? I've missed this place, a lot. I've promised myself that I would write already more times than I can remember. I've been reading, trying to keep up with at least some blogs. I've been mostly failing. We had the flu. We are all better now, even me-- I've had my voice back for a whole three days now, yo. And yesterday I…
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Our Own Creation
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Zoë Day
23 Jan 2010 | 9:00 pmIf there were ever a day I wish I could wipe from the calendar, it’s this one. This day marks the worst nightmare I’ve ever lived through. Lennox’s death was hard, but not unexpected. We’d accepted that his chances of surviving were so small. Zoë, however, brought us so much hope every single day. When [...] -
Bronchitis Blues
20 Jan 2010 | 11:35 amIt all started the weekend before Christmas. I had a sore throat, a lot of sinus drainage, and a hacking cough. No fever, no wheezing, no aches, no pains. My nose wasn’t even stuffy. I figured, I had a cold. By Tuesday, I was miserable and sounded EXACTLY like Harvey Fierstein. [...] -
Thank you!
6 Jan 2010 | 9:48 amYou all raised somewhere between $250 and $300 for the March of Dimes on behalf of Lennox, yesterday. I’d be more exact but, um, I forgot to write down how much had been donated to his band previously … I think it had $350 already on it. Anyway, that’s a fantastic amount for one [...] -
Lennox Day
5 Jan 2010 | 5:00 amTwo years ago, we said goodbye to Lennox Maximilian Simpson, the little boy with the big name, almost before we had a chance to say hello. We think of our sweet boy every single day. It overwhelms my heart to know how many others out there will speak his name today. I tried to [...] -
Two years
2 Jan 2010 | 11:35 pmToday is your second birthday. I can’t even imagine what you would look like, what you would be doing. I still think of you both every single day. There is still such a huge empty space that should be filled with the two of you. I miss you very very much, my brave Lennox and my sweet [...]
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Bloorb
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Thanks For That
9 Feb 2010 | 8:45 amTo the inventor of the nasal aspirator, I'd like to extend a great big THANKS for that LOVELY experience I had a couple days ago. Because without your LOVELY invention, I might have DELAYED scaring the shit out of my child another few weeks, or even months, and man would I have been disappointed to miss out on THAT experience so early.I can tell from your sleek design that you yourself MUST have -
The "E" Word
4 Feb 2010 | 9:01 amThis having a baby thing? It's kicking my ass. Seriously. Well, not seriously like ALL CAPS or like I'm DYING or anything, but seriously like I'm really not sure how to get shit DONE with a baby. And by shit, I mean exercise. And by exercise, I mean running.Yea, I walk, a LOT. And yea, I go to this awesome Fit4Two class every Tuesday (thanks Dee!), but I'm not running - and I miss it. A LOT. -
Justice
31 Jan 2010 | 7:35 pmApparently D doesn't want to make a TOTAL liar out of me, because today, while I was out getting my hair colored, he gave the husband a REAL glimpse into what some of my days are like.While he'd found it TOTALLY entertaining to make a liar out of me on the LAST big outing (didn't even need to be fed for the ENTIRE 4 hours I was out!), today, there was screeching. There was rooting. And there was -
Avoiding the Padded Room
28 Jan 2010 | 7:47 amThe problem with having a 2 month old is that it's freakin' hard. Not hard like it was in those first two weeks when the damn child wouldn't sleep until FOUR F*G AM every night, but hard like he still stays up til 1am a lot of nights, hard like his growing means his signals [for food, diapers, attention] are changing, and hard like there's a LOT of books out there, and a hell of a lot more ADVICE -
Mother of the Year
26 Jan 2010 | 9:22 pmWhen I blow in D's face, he actually SNORTS to suck it in.GREAT. BIG. INHALING. SNORTS!How did I learn this?Oh, by doing it just about WAY too many times tonight... in between laughing my ass off... at my boy's expense...
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Baby or Bust
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Pregnancy Week 27
3 Feb 2010 | 10:58 pmYes, I’m still here. I feel like it’s been a few days since I last checked-in. I’ve been super busy with those “take it easy” orders and really doing quite well with them. I honestly feel like last week, week 27, as we ushered in our third trimester, has already been pretty well summed up. What a mess. Granted, it could have been a bigger mess, but I feel like it was the most drama we’ve had this entire time. So, if you want or need to catch up on week 27, please see: Week 27 Doctor’s Appointment Week 27 Sonogram Vaginal Rest What isn’t… -
Vaginal Rest
30 Jan 2010 | 7:53 pmThis was the order given to me by the doctor on Friday afternoon. I’m supposed to let my vagina rest… apparently. I told Shelton not to disturb us. So, I’m being funny, but this week has been far from it. All because of the bleeding. “Brandi, give us one verb to describe your pregnancy.” “Bleeding.” Ugh! It’s so incredibly frustrating. Why? Because there is no reason for it. None whatsoever! Last Monday, I went to the doctor for my monthly visit. We talked at length about the bleeding and he asked me every conceivable question you ask a person… -
Week 27 Sonogram
28 Jan 2010 | 1:19 pmWhew! What a week! I’m already completely drained and we’ve got four days to go before the next one starts. I mentioned in my week 27 OB update that we’d be having a sonogram next week. Well, that moved, to yesterday. It seems I haven’t exactly been the best advocate for myself and fortunately for me/us, someone else was watching over our shoulder. Dr. T, our fertility doctor, caught word via “M,” our IVF nurse/sanity manager, that my bleeding had continued… was continuing. Remember, we dealt with this for the first six or eight weeks of the pregnancy… -
Week 27 Doctor’s Appointment
26 Jan 2010 | 12:11 amI had my monthly doctor’s appointment today. When Dr. W walked in he asked if there was anything new with the Web site. And I kind of froze. Ommagod… he knows about my Web site! He admitted that he’d never visited, but that a resident of his did and that this person mentioned it sometimes, even noting that I call him Dr. W. SO, if he stops by, or to the mystery resident, HELLO!!! This visit included my glucose test, which I was dreading. My sister had told me horrible horror stories so I was of course fearing the worst. I did get to have breakfast this morning and then… -
Pregnancy Week 26
24 Jan 2010 | 4:02 pmAs I started to write this I was like, “Oh no! What did I do? I lost a week!” I saw that last week I posted week 25, knew that today was 27 and couldn’t figure out how I’d overlooked week 26. But alas, I write for the preceding week and nothing is lost. Good lord! Today is week 27 and that means we begin our third and final trimester. Golly gee it just doesn’t even seem possible that I’ve been pregnant for nearly seven months. That’s a long time! I woke up pretty excited this morning, that we’ve reached yet another milestone without incident. It…
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BagMomma
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Snow enough for ya?
8 Feb 2010 | 7:35 amI think somewhere in Blogging 101, there's something about how you should never blog about the weather, because, really weather is elevator conversation and otherwise boring. Except if you live in the Northeast this winter. And, by Northeast, I mean PA/NJ/DE/MD/DC. Which is really Mid-Atlantic. Which normally doesn't see snow in the amounts we've witnessed lately. I think the total thus far, in my area (Philly) is 60" so far, and we aren't even halfway though winter. First it was Snowpocalypse the week of Christmas, and this past weekend, Snowmageddon. We got 2 feet of snow. … -
Phil, my bestest buddy
2 Feb 2010 | 7:19 amYou know what's the best thing about being born on Groundhog's Day? One, everyone always has a good joke to tell me about Punxsutawney Phil (who by the way, saw his shadow today and we are in for 6 MORE weeks of winter). Two, I have many Groundhog gifts I've received over the years, my favorite being the stuffed creature shown above. Three, no one forgets to ask me, "Hey, have you seen that movie Groundhog's Day?" and of course YES I HAVE. Yes I have. Yes I have. Yes I have. Oooops, seems things are repeating over and over, what gives? Damn, I am a hoot. -
Disorderly
27 Jan 2010 | 7:45 amThis past Monday was quite a day. I should have known it would be a fitting beginning to another step forward in the healing process. I woke up to the windows rattling, and rain pelting against the glass. It was the kind of day best served not opening your eyes at all, but rather a day where you pull the covers up over your head and sleep in. I returned from driving David to the bus stop. Soaking wet... umbrellas aren't very handy when 50 MPH winds are mocking you. After the garage door was closed, the wind whistled between the open gaps and made an eerie sound. I fully expected the… -
A warm wind blowing
19 Jan 2010 | 6:06 am"... it's been such a long time, and I really do miss your smile." Bonus points if you know what line that song is from. (also, a hint in the title of this post). So I've been implementing changes over the last week. Getting my life in order. First order of business was getting my ass back on the healthy eating train. I really blew it over the holidays. I fully admit to drowning my sorrows in lots of high fat and carbs. I figured I earned it. No holiday cookie was safe in my eyesight. I had stopped my vitamin regimen as well. And exercise was non-existent. Let's see, poor diet, no exercise,… -
Since you've been gone
12 Jan 2010 | 10:35 am[tap... tap...] is this thing on?? I guess the perk of moving away from infertility (JOKING, that will never happen) is no one checks in! Have I lost all my readers? Seriously, I am about to embark into therapy and even my Facebook account is lonely. You all are contributing to the alienation of BagMomma. SEE, I am talking about myself in the third person with a fictious name (albeit one I created). See what you've done?? lol. But anyway, no deep thoughts here today. I am exhausted from the last few posts. I have a few more brewing. And truthfully, work hasn't let up like I expected it…
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The Stork Lawyer®
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NY Times article on premature ovarian failure
30 Jan 2010 | 10:01 amSo I have only read part of this article. It brought tears to my eyes and as I am mid-struggle with my own quest to have another baby I was too moved to continue reading it. But I immediately recognized that this is an article to share and discuss. What I want to discuss is how the news was imparted to the author . . . and what I felt was wrong with it. Why don’t doctors, even OB/GYN’s and RE’s know how to tell someone they are infertile and why didn’t THIS woman’s doctors know she has many options for having a baby . . . why did she get immediately (and… -
Feeling Overwhelmed and the Wonder of Autumn
6 Nov 2009 | 7:39 amI’ve had a lot going on recently — between travelling for work, representing clients, and getting ready to launch an egg donation agency my plate is pretty full — on top of which I have family issues and a back that doesn’t really want to let me stand up straight (a metaphor for my life if ever there was one). I was talking to my coach about how overwhelmed I feel and how does a business owner, lawyer, any professional person in general deal with that. I also feel that a recent visit to Dr. Chung to address my own reproductive issues brought up a lot of memories… -
Registration Issues: Registered Users Please Read!
6 Nov 2009 | 7:11 amHey everyone, while I was away, Kristen and Emily were hard at work trying to figure out why we have all these registered users who cannot seem to be able to post. We had a worm on the site awhile ago and it seems the damage the worm did went a little deeper than we realized. Anyone who has previously registered to be a user on this blog needs to register again. As of today, we have only 4 registered users, down from over a hundred. Please, please, please, take a minute and register again. I am so sorry for the inconvenience. But some mean person corrupted my blog. Once you… -
Resurfacing from all my travels and I have some news!
6 Nov 2009 | 6:54 amI have been off the blog travelling to various meetings for reproductive professionals, including ASRM and moderating a panel for the American Bar Association’s A.R.T. Committee addressing insurance issues in gestational carrier arrangements. I learned tons (for other posts) but came home exhausted and overwhelmed and of course the office was happily insane with new business. Of course the travelling and stress of long hours, on and off planes, in and out of cars, running through (or trying to walk through) convention centers, and tons of work meant my back went out . . . and I… -
I think I need to call Oprah, Suze Orman, and HGTV.
2 Oct 2009 | 6:42 amLast night, after days of trying to unravel what appeared to be a case of identity fraud (one of the things that I think must truly be horrific to live through, putting your life back together after someone has stolen your credit-UGH) I discovered that a person at Citi Cards had made my pay-by-phone payment twice. This was not a small payment. I was paying the card balance off in full. This was a day of celebration. This was a day when my husband and I were to begin life anew. We were finally digging out from years of debt related to our infertility, adoptions, unemployment, and me…
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Quips & Tips for Couples Coping With Infertility
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Yes, You Can Get Pregnant If You Have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)
4 Feb 2010 | 2:48 pmOne of the major causes of infertility for women is polycystic ovarian syndrome, and it can prevent them from getting pregnant. But, the good news is it can be treated, and women with PCOS can conceive a baby! Here’s the latest information about polycystic ovarian syndrome from Northwestern University. Polycystic ovarian syndrome is a metabolic disorder and [...] -
Infertility in Marriage – 6 Tips for Supporting Your Husband or Wife
2 Feb 2010 | 8:24 amNot being able to get pregnant can be stressful for a marriage, and can even lead to separation or divorce. These research-based tips for supporting your husband or wife in infertility may help strengthen your marriage while you figure out what your future family will look like… Before the tips, a quip from celebrity Cindy Margolis about [...] -
Does Organic Food Increase Fertility Levels and Help You Get Pregnant?
1 Feb 2010 | 4:55 pmResearch shows that organic fruit, vegetables, and meat haven’t yet been proven to directly improve fertility levels by increasing sperm count and healthy ovulation. But, organic foods certainly can’t harm fertility levels, so they might be worth a try if you’re hoping to conceive a baby! Here’s a summary of the possible health benefits of organic [...] -
3 Fertility Operations for Women Who Can’t Get Pregnant
28 Jan 2010 | 9:50 amThese treatments for infertility are surgical procedures that can improve a woman’s chances of getting pregnant. Whether these options can help an individual woman to conceive a baby depends on the reasons for her inability to get pregnant. To determine the cause of infertility, women (and men!) must see their doctor and take a few [...] -
Prescription Drug Treatments for Female Infertility – Tips for Getting Pregnant
26 Jan 2010 | 2:37 pmIf you haven’t been able to get pregnant for a year (or longer, if you’re like me!), you may be thinking about possible fertility problems. Here are four prescription drug treatments for female infertility; my next article will cover four surgical treatments for fertility problems for women. Before the tips, here’s what Dr Miriam Stoppard says [...]
